Since Jason's untimely death I have distanced myself from others. This is something I have noticed recently and have some regrets about but all I can do from here is move on and try to be better. I think that somewhere in my subconscious I am worried that I will lose someone again, so unexpectedly and suddenly and tragically and without any warning. I do not know that my heart could handle it. But, like I said, I am trying to change.
There are a million things I could say that I haven't over the last year, but the one thing that really stands out lately is this: in losing Jason I have gained something else - a whole network of friends who look out for and care about each other. Because Jason was such a big fan of the Harry Potter books, I like to think of it in terms of Horcruxes.
Jason is no longer here with us but a small part of him is alive in every person who loved him. So, even though he may not be here with us physically we can still have a part of him with us when we associate with each other. He lives on in each of us. We are like his Horcruxes, anchoring fragments of his soul to the earth in the memories that we've shared with him. Every person who has a memory of Jason holds a piece of his story. I think that when we remain connected to each other we remain connected to him. That is something I can hold on to. That is something I am thankful for.