Why wasn't Voldemort at the Yule Ball?
He had no body to go with.
What do Death Eaters eat for breakfast?
Why do Slytherins cross the road twice?
They're double crossers
How many Voldemorts does it take to light up a wand?
None. Why do you think they call him the Dark Lord?
You know who?
He's dead, you can say his name now.
Why does Dobby keep criticizing himself?
He has low elf esteem.
What do you call a Headmaster of Hogwarts who doesn't speak clearly?
What do you call a Headmaster of Hogwarts who keeps tripping on his cloak?
What do you call a boy wizard who is planning to overthrow the government?
Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road?
Because Draco crossed the road.
J K Rowling-in-the-dough
Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So no one could tell which side he was on.
How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They don't use lightbulbs.
What happened when Hedwig lost her voice?
She didn't give a hoot.
What do you get when you cross the Dark Lord with Harry Potter?
What do you call a Hogwarts teacher with a bad attitude?
What do you call a movie about a boy wizard who is unhappy with a photo lab's service?
Harry Potter and the half-dark prints
How many Harry Potters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.
And I saved our three favorites for last...
What did Voldemort say when Wormtail asked if the Dark Lord could really rise again?
"Yes, but you may have to give me a hand."
If Hermione was abandoned what would she be called?
The Lone Granger
What did Harry's godfather say when Harry wouldn't stop poking him?
"Stop that, Harry. I'm Sirius."
Do you know any good Harry Potter jokes that you didn't see here? Please leave them in the comments!