Thursday, November 20, 2014

Quick Quips

Little X: Look, Mom! I see Mowoni! And he's on the temp-o!
Me: Yeah, isn't it beautiful?
Little X: Yeah! And when I get bigger and bigger I will marry you at the temp-o.
Me: Someday you'll meet a really nice and beautiful girl that you will love very much and you will marry her in the temple. But I'm your mom, sweetheart, so you can't marry me.
Little X: But you are a willy nice and butiful girl. And I DO love you vewy much!
Me: (heart melted) I love you, too.

Me: So, O, your music teacher called me today. And it sounds like you were being pretty disrespectful in class. You want to tell me what happened?
Little O: (looking nervous) I don't really remember.
Me: I think you do, and I need you to tell me why you were behaving that way.
Little O: I got put in time out.
Me: I know. But why? What were you doing?
Little O: Bad stuff.
Me: Why? You aren't usually like that, O.
Little O: Um, I don't really remember.
Me: Come on, O. You remember. Tell me the truth.
Little O: SIGH. I was trying to make someone laugh. A girl.
Me: (hiding my laughter) Oh, Little O. Life is not all about girls.

Little X: (singing as he plays with Legos) 
There was a horse on a farm, E-I-E-I-Ho.
There was a 'nother horse on a farm, E-I-E-I-Ho.
There was a owl on a farm, E-I-E-I-Ho.
There was a baby on a farm, E-I-E-I-Ho.
But the baby should be in a house, E-I-E-I-Ho.

All-a-Boy came home from school with this taped to his shirt:
Need a closer look?
He saw it on a pizza box at lunch time and just couldn't resist.

Thursday, November 13, 2014



I've been trying out a bunch of the fitness classes at our local recreation center over the last week because I'm not getting any younger and my body's not going to get into shape without some effort on my part. We all have underused memberships and I know I have more fun when I'm not just walking laps around a track or standing on a machine so I figured, why not?

First I tried Zumba. I've always thought it looked like a blast, I love music and "dancing" (I use that term loosely), so win/win, right? I got to class early to ask the teacher how intense her class was. She assured me that it was easy to follow. As other class members started to arrive I felt more confident. There were two guys who were at least 60. One was wearing a t-shirt that said, I Believe In The Right To Bear Arms with a picture of a bear holding a gun. The other guy had on a Harley Davidson tank top and a handlebar moustache. I decided I'd hang out near them because if they could do it, so could I! The first 10 minutes were awesome. I was a little behind but I could follow the teacher's basic moves and was getting a good arm workout. And then she said, "Great warm-up guys! Now let's get moving!" Huh? I thought we were already moving. What happened next I have no words for. But those 60ish year old guys? They were ROCKING it! Me? I stood in the back, a dazed expression on my face, limply lifting my arms and lamely tripping over my toes in an attempt to follow the dance moves that utilized muscles I didn't even know existed and required movements I just couldn't master. I walked out 20 minutes into class. A dancer is something I will just have to be content to be in my dreams.

Next I tried a spin class. Riding a stationary bike? Now this I could do! And I was doing really well until the instructor mentioned those words I was learning to dread: Great warm up! This class was actually doable since no one sees what level anyone else's bike is at. As long as I stayed about 8 gear levels behind what the teacher told everyone to switch into I looked like I was doing amazing. And then she told everyone to stand up. You know, like you used to do as a kid on your banana seat bike?  In case you don't know, that hurts now. I don't remember it hurting when I was a kid. It just made me go faster back then. But on these stationary bikes? Ouch. Even if you discreetly switch down another 4 levels. I was on 2 while everyone else was pumping their hearts out at 18 and I looked worse off than every other person in the class. The worst was when the guy next to me tried to look over at my bike to see what level I was on because he lost track of which gear the teacher said to shift to. I just gave him a nervous laugh and told him I was the wrong person to ask. I was on 4, everyone else was on somewhere around 12. I'll probably try this one again since I have friends in the class. But it's not exactly a class where you chat while you ride. People just let out an occasional "WHOO!!" when they're feeling the burn. So, that's kind of fun. The only thing I really said the entire class was WHAT? when the teacher said we had a great warm up.

I looked in on a class called something like Super Insanity RIP Kick It Pilates and they all looked like ninja warriors compared to what I can do. Also, I'm pretty sure they were just warming up. Plus I try to avoid classes that have R.I.P. in the title. So I avoided eye contact, pretended I was looking for someone, then turned around and just walked away. With no regrets.

Another day I tried yoga. As I walked into the classroom I worried I had come at the wrong time because the lights weren't turned on. I went back to the front desk to ask if I had the right room and they assured me that I did. I went back in and saw two women laying on mats with their backs and necks propped up on foam blocks, talking quietly in the dark. I grabbed myself a mat as the teacher came in and turned on some music that sounded more like sounds of nature - waterfalls, an occasional chirp from a bird and wind blowing through trees interspersed with earthy flute sounds. The teacher promised me that this was a gentle yoga class and she was right. The only time I didn't feel calm and relaxed was when she told everyone to get into Happy Baby Pose, and all I could do was picture everyone in class like this:
I kind of wanted to giggle and say "we're happy babies!" but then suddenly my spine felt amazing with this awkward-looking massage I was giving myself so I snapped right back into relaxed mode and went with the flow. You know what they say - when in Rome... At the end of our session the teacher had us all lay on our mats with outstretched arms for like 10 breath cycles (I'm still trying to figure out what that means because I breathe in and out a lot more than she says is a breath cycle). I kept thinking, there is no way this is really exercise. But I like it. When the class was over the teacher said Namaste and everyone repeated it back to her. Except for me, because I had no idea I was supposed to. But you better believe I will next time! Because guess what? Yoga IS exercise you guys, not just stretching and getting into crazy positions! The big reveal happened the next day when I woke up with sore stomach and arm and leg muscles!

And as a bonus, the people in this yoga class are super friendly. One gave me a dozen fresh eggs that she had just gathered that morning in exchange for a promise that I would attend her handbell group's Christmas concert. And would I like some walnuts? Another mentioned that she and her husband have bees and is anyone interested in honey? It was like this class was made for me. I was tempted to look for a hidden camera. I was in heaven. Farmer's Market and yoga all in one?


I have found my exercise class.

T-Rex found here
Baby photo found here

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Halloween 2014

Halloween is always fun here at our house. Some years we go crazy and turn our entire house into a spook alley for the neighborhood, but not this year. Maybe next year. It's been like 4 or 5 years since we did that last and I need to work myself back into the idea of it.

I put together a few of the kids' costumes this year. Some were easy, some... not so easy. But all worth it. Want to see? Okay! 
Allen the Younger decided on the morning of Halloween that he could be an elephant, wearing the hood I cut off of an old size 3T footie elephant costume last year. It's a little blurry, but it's the only picture I got. It cracks me up that he wore this at school all day.
All-a-Boy was Flint Lockwood from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Or, as we like to call him, FLINT LOCK-WOOOOOD! (If you've watched the movie you'll probably know what I mean.) We didn't have time to make spray-on shoes so he just carried a can of it instead. And now that Halloween is over he finally agreed to a haircut so he could have normal looking hair again. 

Cowgirl always knows way ahead of time who she's going to be. This year it was Vanellope Von Schweetz from Wreck It Ralph. Her costume was the hardest one to make but also one of my favorites. We lucked out on finding the right color of sweatshirt but had to order the tights online. The tights were the part I hated making. Painter's tape does NOT stick to tights well, in case you were wondering. Once the costume was all done she tried on the skirt she had and realized it was way too short. So we ran to the thrift store and found a long brown skirt that I cut and sewed into what she's wearing in a 30 minute time frame. It's not exactly right but it was good enough! We made the licorice knot in her ponytail from pipe cleaners (hooray for simplicity!) and glued circles and confetti that we cut out of foam to clips to create the candy stuck in her hair. We were both pleased with the result.

Princess wanted to be a mail person. I am lucky enough to have an amazing friend who works at the post office who was able to find me a shirt, hat and satchel from her friends who deliver the mail. We got her a pair of dark blue pants and we were done. Easy peasy!
She also had to dress as an Egyptian escort person sort of thing for this tradition they have at her elementary school where they drag one of the 6th grade teachers around on a cart in a cardboard sarcophagus as an Egyptian mummy. I don't understand it, but whatever. She looked cute and had fun and was really excited about it. Thank goodness Julia had made this tunic for an extra credit report a couple of years ago. I love having a costume bin!
Hubba was going to be a ninja but I ordered his costume online and when it arrived it was super lame. We both pretended it was great for a couple of weeks and then I asked if he wanted to try something different and he chose Fix It Felix, also from Wreck It Ralph. I think his costume was one of my best creations. I printed the hat and shirt patches onto fabric printer paper and sewed them on to the hat (from the Dollar Store) and shirt (from his closet). I had a hard time finding a hammer to spray paint gold but finally broke down and bought an entire toy tool set that Little X will get for Christmas (minus the hammer). I love how this turned out!
Curly wore a pirate girl costume that has made its rounds with our girls. I love it when someone wants to wear something we already have! Elle had sent her these necklaces for her birthday and she was really excited to make them a part of her costume. She was even more thrilled when she found out that all of the 2nd grade teachers were dressing up as pirates as well.
Little O was the most perfect Peter Pan! I got tired of making costumes and bought his at the Disney Store. They were having a 40% off sale and I figure that Little X can wear it later. This costume fit his personality so well!

Little X wore the same ol' pumpkin suit he wore last year. That was perfect, because I didn't have to make it! The only picture I got was of him wearing Allen's wig at the elementary school carnival. But here's last year's picture, in case you didn't see it. He's a little taller but looks pretty much the same:

At the last minute Allen called me from work (the night of our church's Halloween party) and told me he needed a black afro. Here's a simplified version of his costume:

Me? I just wore a simple Christa McAuliffe (the astronaut) shirt I made for a report Elle did in the 5th grade. It's a bunch of patches copied from the internet and sewn onto a blue scrub top. It was the first thing in the bin that fit me and I was good with that. Sorry, I forgot to take a selfie.
Julia wore a pirate costume to a Halloween party and she and her roommates dressed as Hogwarts students from each of the 4 houses. In true Julia fashion, she made their robes. Because she's off to school in a land far, far away I had no pictures. But thanks to the magic of Facebook I was able to steal these two:

Oh, we can't forget Elle! She dressed up as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Same thing she's worn every day for the last 9 months. Pretty much the best costume, ever. Here's a shot of she and her companion trying on hats and glasses at a store with one of the people they are teaching.
Hooray for Halloween!