Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Reflections of November

Today I pulled out my old journals and was rifling through them, enjoying some memories and cringing at others. Here are a few excerpts from this very month over the years...

November 1980
"I have a very nice substitute teacher who seems to notice me. I like being at school when she is my teacher."

November 1981
"I am happy because it is raining and I love the smell and sight of it."

November 1985
"I am starting to wear a thing called a head-gear. When I wear it I look like a stupid nerd and mom even says I have to wear it to school. She says I look fine in it so I think she must have problems with her eyes because everyone can see that it makes me look like a dork. I only wear it until I cross the street in the mornings and then put it in my backpack until I get home after school. That way we are both happy."

November 1986
"I feel like a total loser. You know why? Because I am one." (Ah, those wonderful teenage years!)

November 1987
"Being 15 years old is stupid. I bet there is no one in the whole history of the universe who liked being 15 years old except for maybe Ricky Schroeder."

November 1988
"Trish and I took a bunch of pictures today. I hope they turn out good 'cuz it's expensive black and white film and the developing costs like $11.00. We went to the dance in P.V. and they played Def Leppard! Trish asked me, "How is anyone supposed to dance to this?" So I showed her some of my headbanger moves. She was embarrassed but I still love Def Leppard. Their music is amazing and they make me wish I could play the guitar."

November 1989
"I spent the entire day at the kick-back cliffs with friends today. We brought a picnic and just talked about everything imaginable. When it started to get close to dark almost everyone left but I stayed to watch the sunset. I can't believe they were all right there with prime seats for the sun's big finale and they missed their chance. I sat beneath my favorite tree and stayed until there was not one flicker of light remaining. It was an amazing show."

November 1990
"I can never get enough of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Cherry Garcia and Chunky Monkey would have to be among my two favorites. I go into the shop so often that the workers know me by name. Whenever I walk in they yell out, 'Gerby! What's it gonna be?'"

November 1991
"Today I certified as a Level 2 Interpreter for the Deaf. That means I'm up to $10/hour! Not even half of what I made in California a year ago, but I'll take it. You know what I miss most about California, though? Weather that makes sense. Around here it changes about every two minutes: from a clear, cloudless day to dark, stormy skies with a promise of rain or snow. And, for the record, I'll almost always take the rain over anything else."

November 1997
"Today Coolister (age 4) asked, "Mom, why does God put mistakes in our skin?" I asked if he was talking about things like birthmarks but he said, "No, I mean mistakes INSIDE our skin - in our bodies. Like when you want to hit someone or take a fish out of a fishbowl." I started to explain free agency to him but he stopped me and said, "Wait, I know this already. Because there's always good and bad, but WE have to choose." He is such a smarty pants."

(I had to add another one from 1997...)
"Coolister, in his most serious manner, told me today that when he grows up he wants to be a farmer, a cowboy or a doctor. He then asked, "Which is better?" I told him he could be anything he wanted so he asked, "Could I be ALL three?" I told him that he can do anything he sets his mind to. ElemenoB (age 3) had been listening in on the whole conversation and piped in with this: "I just want to be a dog when I get big. A little one." I guess it's a step up from her just wanting to be pretty when she grows up!"

November 1998
"I want to be someone who brings light into dark places. I'm not sure how to go about doing this exactly, but it is something I feel passionate about today."

Any other entries are still a bit too recent to be included... but if you come back in another 10 years or so I may have some new material to share.

( Today I am thankful that I kept journals in my younger years - even though I often debate creating a bonfire with them.)


simplysarah said...

Ah, memories. You've always been cool.

Journals are awesome. Today I finished one I've been working on since July of 2004. Talk about a dynamic journey from then to now.

Time to buy a new one! :)

Kimm said...

I too have kept journals, mine are a little too sad to share for the most part. I look back, and feel such gratitude for joining the church. Oh yeah, and that whole thing about being a light in the darkness......you are!


Richard & Natalie said...

Oh, Gerb. Head-gear, rain, sunsets, Def Leporard, & Chunky Monkey- Where were you to be my friend when I was 15 and feeling like a loser?
Journals are wonderful things. Thanks for sharing a little 'light' with us all.

Kristin Garlick said...

Oh man!! I loooove it! I'm pretty sure most of my early journal entries are "I am a nerd." as well. Ha ha. Gotta love it.

Mom not Mum said...

Great memories! I've read some of my journals recently - nothing as clever as your Ricky Shroeder comment - Love It!

Salcido said...

Gerberta, you are way too cool of a mom! I love the family pics. What fun! Your post made me wish I'd been more diligent at keeping a journal. All those fun MV days! Thanks for letting me peek in on you!

Katie said...

I love your entry about your headgear. Awesome. Wish I would've kept a better journal. Guess live and learn huh?

Brown Thumb Mama said...

I was always too afraid of someone finding my diary to actually keep one...but mine would have been quite similar to yours! I only had to wear my headgear at night though. =) It's great to read your reflections and the kids' witticisms.

P.S. Dumbledore is solidly ahead!

Anaise said...

I think you ARE a light.

Rebecca said...

Def Leppard will always remind me of my first "boyfriend", Chuck, who loved that band. Maybe I should post about him sometime. But let me say this: A guy named Chuck, who loved a band spelled Def Leppard? Two strikes against that relationship right there. (Plus the fact that we were twelve.)

Rebecca said...

P.S. Enough about me. Gerb, I believe you are an "old soul." I really like that about you.

Martha said...

I LOVE this post! Awesome. I wish I had written in my journal more consistantly at that age.

Gerb said...

Sarah- Isn't it an awesome feeling to be making the last entry in a journal? I always wrote those with a bit of flourish.

I bet your most recent journal would be a great read!

Kimm- I just skip the sad parts and try to find the bits of happiness hidden amongst them. Joining the church has had a profound impact on my life, too. Thanks for reading - and commenting.

Natalie- I guess we have lots of years to make up for, then... ;)

Kristin- The thing I realize more and more is that all of us nerds turned out to be pretty cool people!

MnM- I must admit, that one makes me laugh every time I come across it.

Missy- I wish I had written more during the days I worked at MV. Such fun memories there! I've come in contact with a few of the old gang from SC on FB and it has been great to see where life has taken them now.

Katie- There are actually about 50 more just like it but I picked my favorite. I hated that thing!

Pam- I wish I had kept our correspondence with each other, as teens then. I used to keep every letter I got from anyone and then my mom threw them all away one weekend... but that's another story!

Anaise- Thanks very much.

Bec- Once again, we share something in common. My first boyfriend was named Ralph. But I was 15 and amazed I had a boy who liked me at all - besides, my name was (and, incidentally, still is) Gerberta. So could I really complain?

P.S. Thanks, Rebecca.

Martha- Thanks! Sometimes I read and cringe but for the most part it's fun to read what I was thinking, especially during my younger years.

Autumn said...

What a great idea to post past journal entries. I loved it! You are a person that brings light wherever you go. I too have that same desire but I am still on my journey. As far as I can tell you have got it together woman. I really admire you and would love to be more like Gerb.

Trish said...

Wow, this makes me regret not doing a better job a keeping a journal. These are awesome.
The one I did keep in college I ended up ripping up...I wouldn't want my kids to read it...not b/c of anything bad, just waaaayyy too dramamtic and emotional, almost bordering on psycho! :)

I still love Def Leppard btw. ;)

Gerb said...

Autumn- I wish we were neighbors. I think we'd have a lot of fun together. Except then you'd learn that I do NOT have it all together. But thanks for the compliment. ;0)

Trish- Ah, Trish, my friend, you did not need journals as I have your teenage life recorded in mine. Don't worry, though- your secrets are safe with me. POUR! SOME! SUGAR! (you get the idea...)

Anonymous said...

Oh, wow. My journals are crammed into the darkest corner of the darkest chest I could find...which is locked, and the key to which has been hidden so well as to be permanently (I hope) lost. I love your Ricky Schroeder comment--perfection. And the headgear... ah. The angst.

Gina said...

Awwww...Gerb. Light in the darkness every time. Love that about you. $10/hour? That is rockin'.

Chelle! said...

Oh, I love journals!! I love to go back and read them. I love to write in my journal...oh, life is grand when writing in my journal--it can't talk back!!