Quick Quips

Hubba: Can we start wearing our short-sleeve pants since it's warmer?

Little O: Mom, those socks are boo-tiful!
Me: ?? I'm not wearing any socks...

Curly: Can I try doing fasting?
Me: Sure. When?
Curly: How about right now? I'm pretty full from breakfast.

Hubba: My leg-wrist hurts.
Me: Can you show me?
Hubba: (points to his ankle)

Me: (after Little O finishes a crying tantrum) Why were you so sad?
Little O: I just had to cry drips out my eyeballs to the floor.

Finger-Lickin' Good

photo here

We were eating fried chicken for dinner recently when Hubba asked,

"Who hunted these chickens?"

That's my boy.

Quick Quips

"Why doesn't our house ever get stealed or catch on fire? Our family is so boring!"

Uncle L: What's Curves?
Coolister: It's some kind of car insurance.
Me: Actually it's a women's gym.
Coolister: Yeah. That's what I meant.

Overheard at kindergarten drop-off:
Kindergarten Kid: Your van is SO big! Does your mom do a day care?
Hubba: What's a day care?
KK: When one mom watches a bunch of kids all day.
Hubba: Yup. She does a day care.

"Are you ever going to watch that "Big Fat Loser" show again?"

"Today during P.E. the chee-cher showed us a butterfly that was flying around outside. It was flying around and flying around and then the chee-cher caught it on his finger. Then he set it on the fence - but it wasn't an electrical fence."

"You know who I'm going to marry? Claire, in my kindergarten class. Because I really love her... hair."

"Have you guys heard of Zumba?"
"Yeah, I've heard my friends talk about it. They say the food is really good."

Quick Quips: Travel Version

All of the following quotes came from Hubba while driving on our trip to California over spring break.


"We should of left sooner so all those cars wouldn't be ahead of us!"


"Maybe if our van had a motor we could go fast like all these cars that keep passing us."


"Why do we just keep on driving on this same road all the time?"


"I keep getting bubbles in my ears when we drive over mountains. But if I drink my spit they pop."


"Some of the ladies on those big signs (billboards near Las Vegas) forgot to put more clothes on."

Quick Quips

"Why does the car have a line for 140 miles per hour if you're not even allowed to drive that fast?"

All-a-Boy: "Animals were put on the earth for us to eat."
Hubba: "Yeah - except for alligators."

Little O finds Allen's glasses and watch, puts them on, then proclaims to me:

"Flashlights don't even flash at all. They're just lights. Whose idea was that?"

"Do you think the guys on the planet where they made Star Wars ever watch earth-people in a movie and memorize everything we say?"

Overheard during a Tabernacle Choir performance between speakers during General Conference yesterday: "Whoa! Are those angels singing?!"

Quick Quips

"Bacteria are like cell zombies because they have no brains. That is, if you call a nucleus a brain."

"Sometimes I just forget to think."

"Every time a baby is born a mom turns into a milk cow."

(In a prayer) "And please bless that we can all be good so that God can have a good day today."

"Mom, I have more cookie?"
"No."
"But I soooooo cuuuuute!"

"I really want All-a-Boy to be with Jesus in heaven someday but he just keeps on following Satan. I'm going to miss him when I'm in heaven and I look down to where he and Satan are all hot and sweaty."

Quick Quips

"I'm going to dress up for the science fair because it makes me look more intelligent."

"I wish people would pay me money instead of compliments."

ElemenoB: "I have the car in drive, but it won't go forward."
Me: "You'll have to let off the emergency brake."
ElemenoB: (Lets off the emergency brake.) "It still won't go forward!"
Me: "Well, you're going to have to actually start the car before it will drive anywhere."

Little O burps. "I farted in my mouth!"

Me: "What does apple start with?"
Hubba: "A!"
Me: "What does snake start with?"
Hubba: "S!"
Me: "What does car start with?"
Hubba: "A key!"

"Why does this ball say 'CHINA' on it?"
"P-cuz that is where all balls are made. That's what they do in China."
"So.... China is like Santa's workshop?"
"Yes. The elves live in China."

Quick Quips

A conversation between Curly & I:
"When will our baby grow up bigger?"
"He grows up a little bit every day."
"So he growed up some today?"
"Yup."
"But he's still just a cuter and cuter little boy when he's growing bigger."

Star Wars lingo from Little O:
"Where my Koo-Ker?"
"Mom doesn't understand who Koo-Ker is."
He runs off and returns with a Star Wars DVD case. Pointing to Darth Vader, he says: "He Koo-Ker."
"Why do you call him Koo-Ker?"
(Breathing like Darth Vader) "Koooooo, Ker. Koooooo, Ker."

Hubba's inquiring mind led to this:
"Mom, why is there two g's on the baby's diapers?"
"It's part of the name for the diapers: Huggies."
"HUGgies? Why are they called Huggies?"
"Because they hug the baby's bum."
"Why do they hug his bum?"
"So the poop won't come out."
"Oh... yeah. Sometimes I hug my bum, too."

Some one-liners:

(Hubba farts.) "Whoa! I flew a little with that one!"

Curly: "You should eat more and more so your tummy can get really fat and you can have another cute little baby!"

(Hubba, to a girl at our door talking to Coolister) "Hey, guess what? I farted!"

(Little O, shaking the hand of his new baby brother) "Nice to meet you, baby!"

Hubba is admiring his new baby brother. The baby lets out a little toot and Hubba says, "Awww! He can fart cute little farts! He's just perfect for our family!"

(Are you sensing a theme in Hubba's life right now?)

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...

"Mom, do we need to get gas?"
"Nope. We've got a full tank."
"We don't have a tank! We have a car!"

"Last night I had a rilly, rilly bad dream and dragons chaseded me but I hided where they can't find me. It's true - I can not just make this stuff up!"

"Mom, are you gonna die after the baby is borned?"
"No. Why would you ask something like that?"
"Well, in Star Wars, Queen Amadala gets her baby borned and then she dies."
"Pretty much everything that happens in Star Wars would never happen in real life, honey."
"Yeah. (sigh) That's why we never get to see Chewbacca or Yoda anywhere."

"The forehead of my belly hurts."

"Is that really grandpa? 'Cause he kinda looks like WalMart."

"Where are you going, Mom?"
"To watch General Conference."
"Is that like General Grievous?"
"Not even close."



For you who are unfamiliar, this is what General Conference looks like:
and this is what General Grievous looks like:
VERY different.

And yes, I am aware that my 4-year-old daughter has a freakishly accurate fascination AND knowledge of everything that has to do with Star Wars. I think it's kind of cute.

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...

"Hey All-a-Boy, I have a present for you!"
"If it's a burp or a fart, I don't want it."

"Could we call the new baby Batman?"
"No."
"How about Robin?"
"No."
"Joker?"
"No."
"Two-Face?"
"NO! We will NOT name the baby ANYthing from Batman."
"Okay. How about Yoda?"

At church...
Question to the kids, aged 3-7: "Who can tell me who this is?"
Answer: "Santa Claus!"

Me: "Don't eat lip balm! That's disgusting!"
Hubba: "Well, how do YOU know it's disgusting?"

"Pregnant moms can't do a lots of stuff p-cause their baby tells them to stop it. Only just the mom can hear the baby talking, though. All of us can't hear him until he gets out of her body."

"Mom, do we have a flame thrower?"
"Um, NO. Did you need one for something?"
"I really don't want to talk about it."

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...


"I know I'm getting big p-cuz there is more hairy stuff growing on my arms."

"When I go to school I'll have math tests and exercise. And then I'll tell my cheecher that I have to go to the baf-room."

"Dad, can I play the Wii?"
"You'll have to ask Mom, she's the boss around here."
"Because you're not bigger than her anymore?"

"I can't be friends with girls because girls don't rule the world." (He'll learn.)

"Hey Mom, who's your boyfriend?"
"That would be Dad."
"What?! You married your boyfriend?!"

"When we sing 'Love one another' does that mean Satan, too? 'Cause he's not exactly what I call lovey."

H: "I don't like you."
C: "Well, I don't like you, either!"
H: "But I do still love you."
C: "Well, I still love you, too."

Quick Quips

From the mouths (and pens) of my kids...


"I just talkded but I didn't thinkded."

"Stuff is not things! Stuff is just stuff!"


(The following conversation took place at 4:15 a.m.)
"Mom?"
(disoriented) "Huh?"
"MOM!?"
"YES?!"
(excited) "Thank you!"


(The following conversation took place at 2:00 a.m.)
Curly, age 3: "Mom, can you forgive me cuz of all the mean and bad fings I already done before?"
Me: "Yes. I forgive you."
Curly: "And do you love me so, so much?"
Me: "Yes, I really do."
Curly: "Then maybe can you scoot over and let me sleep in your bed wif you?"


"When I go to school, if I write that my name is Star Wars and tell my teacher that my name is Star Wars, will she call me that? Or should I just tell her to call me Secret Agent?"

"I don't want to be a fighterfighter when I grow up anymore. I want to be a secret agent because they have missiles on their helicopters. All fighterfighters have is big water guns."

"When you say I am in big trouble it just makes me so sad that you are listening to Satan again."

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...



Me: "You want banana chips or carrots in your lunch?"
Princess: "How about chocolate chips?"

"Living with Little O is like living with Yoda. They are both cute and tiny... except Yoda has The Force and can do flips in the air."

"Does Jesus want us to hate pirates?"

Hubba: "Mom, I never want to get married to anyone."
Me: "Then you'll never have kids and I won't be a grandma."
Hubba (annoyed): "Why don't you just get your own grandkids yourself."

Curly: "I never want to get big. I will always stay little."
Me: "I like you little - you are such a cute little girl."
Curly: "No, I just mean I don't want my blue sparkly shirt to not fit me anymore."

"You need to have another baby so that our neighbors can bring us dinner."

Princess: "Did you know that Han Solo and Harry Potter are the same person?"
Me: "You mean Han Solo and Indiana Jones?"
Princess. "No."

"Mom, does my breath smell kinda like poop to you?"

"What exactly does the tooth fairy do with all of those teeth? And why in the wide world does she give money for them? She must be crazy. And rich."

Me: "I need to apologize before we eat - this roast is really chewy."
Hubba: "YOU KILLED CHEWY?!"

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...



Hubba: "Mom, Curly called me a baby!"
Curly: "But I said 'just kidding' after."

"What are you screwing, dad?"

"What's a duck-poo-laughterus?"
"I have no idea."
"Well, they eat cats."

"Mom is in charge because she's the biggest kid that's awake."

Me: "I have told you not to do that a MILLION times!"
Curly: "Um, no. You only tolded me eight times."

"Little O is the cutest baby we never had."

Allen: "When are you going to start losing teeth, Hubba?"
Hubba: "When I eat a lot of cookies."

Hubba: "Mom, I love you."
Me: "I love you, too, buddy."
Hubba: "Good. Because I markered on the wall."

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...



"Um...I fink maybe a monster ate your girl scout cookies, mom."

(spoken loudly) "Is that lady fat p-cause she's going to have a baby?"

"Do people who go to heaven get to ride there in spaceships?"

Hubba: "Don't you ever just feel like you want to go outside and burn stuff?"
Me: "Um, no. Never."
Hubba: "Huh. That's weird."

(pointing at a man who is smoking) "Hey, you are going to DIE!"

"Why doesn't Spock ever smile? It makes him creepy."

"When I go on a mission I want to go to Endor and teach the Ewoks. Or maybe just Chewbacca. P-cause it would be fun to see them at church. "

(After farting) "I think I ran out of gas now."

"Stop saying happy words, mom. It's freaking me out."

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...


"The doctor put a noodle in my leg."

"Check out what's in my diaper!"

Me: "That looks like a spider bite."
Hubba: "Awesome! Am I gonna get super powers?!"

"Mom, I want you to stop following Satan."

"You're the best cook I've never seen!"

"So, wait... is Rocky about a sumo wrestler?"

A car slowly turns into the parking lot where we are walking. Out of nowhere, Hubba yells: "Hey, watch it, buddy!" The guy's window is down and he is amused by the tongue-lashing. He turns to his passenger and says, "I think I just got told off by a 3-year-old!" to which Hubba yells back, "I'm FIVE, you dummy!"

"Sometimes I wish people had a minimize button so I could click it and make them go away."

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...


"What's wrong with girls? They don't even have a sense of humor!"

"Which part of Utah does Jesus live at?"

Curly: "Go a-way! Yer ruining my yife!"

"You're wrong. Farts ARE funny!"

All-a-Boy: "I remember back when I was a kid..."

"Jobs are totally un-fun."

"Fingers are NOT humans!"

ElemenoB: "Could you move, please?"
Coolister: (Waves his arms in the air for a few seconds while remaining in place.) "How'd you like those moves?"

"Your breath smells like boogers."

Me, calling downstairs: "Who's down there?"
Curly: "Nobody."
Me: "Then who's answering me?"
Curly: "No-body. Stop tawking to me, Mom!"