Saturday, January 3, 2009

Thinking Out Loud

Thoughts on self-portraits:

How do people take pictures of themselves? Every time I try, mine turn out wacky. Like too dark or too bright or you can only see half an eyeball. Or my nose is freakishly large.

Or I look like a female Skeletor.

How do people know they are in the camera frame when they snap the photo?

I am never in the camera frame.

Is there some secret the world is keeping from me? Is it because no one wants to see my picture?

My smile always looks fake when I take my own pictures. Maybe because it is sort of fake, unless I make myself laugh - and then my nose flares and I have to start all over again.

Thoughts on haircuts. Specifically, mine:

There is something magical about getting a haircut.

Yesterday marked a milestone for me - this is twice that I've had my hair cut in a span of 5 months. I usually go about a year, sometimes two, between visits to the salon.

Am I becoming vain?

Probably.

I finally realized (3 haircuts ago) that I don't really like my hair short. It doesn't matter how badly I want short hair. I don't like it on me.

Are people lying when they say my hair looks good short?

It may be too short this time.

I wanted it shoulder-length when curly. It's shoulder-length when straight.

I am nervous about how my hair will look when it is washed and curly.

I don't want people to pretend they like my hair.

I don't want people to not like my hair.

Why do I care what people think? Because I am human, that's why.

I will not have straight hair again until I get my next haircut. I don't have that kind of time or patience.

Maybe I will love how it looks when curly and always have it cut this short.

Maybe not.

Maybe.

13 comments:

Rebecca said...

Even though your smile looks fake, I like the picture, and I also like your hair. Maybe you could just not wash it for the next 5 months or a year, while you let it grow...?

threeundertwo said...

I've had a terrible time trying to get a self portrait. Some people seem to have success holding the camera high and shooting down on themselves. I've tried using a mirror to frame it and I always look distracted.

I love your hair, and I'm not lying.

I still owe you a little something. . .I haven't forgotten!

Martha said...

Lol! This post sounds like it came almost straight from MY thoughts!!! I hate all my self portraits. I don't know how others do it. I end up deleting them all. And I totally relate to how you only get your hair cut a few times a year!

Cami said...

According to my sister the key is to take at least 20 self-portraits. Then you can pick the one you like best and delete the rest.

Love the do. Now I want to see it curly. Like a cascading waterfall (in a banana clip).

pam said...

It looks great!

But I know exactly what you mean about "too short when curly." See this year's Christmas picture--big 'fro while growing those curls out to something manageable.

Hang in there! I'm sure it will look great curly but you could always start a cap/kerchief fashion trend...?!?

Jon and Maryanne said...

I really like it!!!! I totally know what you mean when you say that your hair is only straight when you go to the salon, I am the same way! You remember Rachel, Larry's daughter, right? She is my hair stylist and is awesome! I like your hair short and long! And your self portrait turned out cute! Have you seen my hair? Do you like it dark brown? I think I am going to keep it for a while!

Gerb said...

Rebecca- When I was in junior high, I thought things like that were real options. Now, I try to avoid the 'always-greasy-enough-to-look-wet' look.

3under2- I tried both methods. Neither worked. Thanks for loving my hair! I love it, too - until Monday when I have to wash it. I have to leave it straight until then because I met the new kids in my church class today and they are 4 years old. If I wash it tonight they won't recognize me tomorrow. Crazy. And, by the way, you don't owe me anything. I was happy to send the CD your way!

Martha- Aren't we women a little nutty when it comes to our hair? Sometimes I wish I could chop it really, really short like a guy and be done with it. But that would require maintenance and, like I said, once a year is a stretch for me most of the time! I love that you can relate.

Cami- I took 34, to be exact. The one in the post was the only one worth keeping - although still too dark and I look awkward.
I'm excited to see the curly me but I'm afraid there will be no cascading waterfalls. Too short for that.

Pam- I loved your picture. Your little man is growing into quite the handsome kid! Hubba was excited to see that there is another towhead in the family. And I'm totally stealing your idea for the Christmas letter next year, if you don't mind. So creative!

Maryanne-
I noticed your hair was darker in your Christmas pictures. It does look very nice on you. Are you a natural blonde or brunette?

Amanda said...

I really like your hair short! It is cute(and I'm not lying). I usually use a mirror to frame my self portraits also. Good luck!

Gloria said...

I'm impressed with your self portrait. I tried once not too long ago to take my own picture and after the third picture I gave up. I'm not so sure it would look any better with someone else taking the picture, but I'll not be trying to take my own picture any time soon.

You must have curly hair that has to be straightened. Lucky you. I have very fine, very thin hair. I guess I'm vain and wish it looked good. Sometimes I'll really like it and I'll think I found the secret. Then it grows a bit, and the bad hair days come back.

I'm grateful for the hair that I have, but it hasn't ever been easy for me to take care of.

cari said...

I love your hair! I was trying to picture it curly and honestly, I bet it's so cute! I hear you on straight hair. I have curly hair (but not the pretty curly kind) and it's a pain in the butt straightening it. Seriously though, it's a darling haircut.

Maleen said...

Have you tried a flat-iron/straightener? I don't have curly hair, just wavy, but the flat-iron is so fast compared to blow-drying. I only have to work on each piece of hair once for say, 4 seconds as I pull the straightener through. Because, let's be real, we all want our hair to look nice with no effort (that is my dream world, where I wake up and my hair and make-up are already done).

Julie said...

Gerbie, I LOVE your hair. You are beautiful.

Chelle! said...

I am glad that you think out loud. You are too great!! I love your hair--either way is just fabulous!!