Friday, January 23, 2009

Not So Super

You like reality T.V.? Here's reality for you: I am no supermom.

Many people believe in this illusion that I am some perfectly amazing mother. Well guess what? I'm human. No cape, no superpowers. And here is the proof:

-My smallest kids don't even get breakfast until 10 or 11 a.m. some days because I'm blogging or checking my email. Don't even get me started on the dishes and laundry.

-When my kids have to turn in their monthly reading calendars at school, I totally make up the minutes they read all month. I mean, I know they read. Probably more than most of the kids at the school all put together. I just don't have time to keep track of it every single day. Are you kidding me? Sometimes I even use two different colors of pen so it looks like I've been doing it all month long.

-Hubba (age 4) had been telling me that his "face hurts" for 2 weeks before I was smart enough to look inside his mouth. His molars are pretty much rotten because I let him brush his own teeth. The dentist was very gracious and said that his having a million ear infections in his first few years was a factor. I appreciate his trying to make me feel better, but the fact that poor Hubba has to be put under and have surgery to fix the problem makes me feel terrible. No more cookies for breakfast, I guess. (Just kidding. We only eat cookies for lunch.)

-If one of my kids wore something all day Friday, slept in it and then showed up at the table in the same clothes the next morning, you better believe I'm going to let them wear it again. It's Saturday! Who's gonna know?

-My husband is a big supporter of hot cereals for breakfast which to me = pasty nastiness in a bowl. So after I force all the kids to choke it down I put on a movie for the ones who don't go to school and have myself a bowl of cold cereal and a slice of cinnamon toast behind the door in the pantry.

-I totally chug milk out of the jug, right in front of my kids. It tastes better that way.

That's right, friends.

No supermom here.

Forget reality T.V. This is MY LIFE.


cari said...

I do the same thing with the reading calendars. The sad thing is I only have one elementary schooler.

Happy Hubby, JJ, Bugs, Nenie and Sadie Jo said...

everything you confessed is a typical day for me. It's nice to know I am not alone in my world. I can ignore the kids like a man watching football when I am blogging.

Your blog is my very favorite to read. I would love your "private blog" too!

Cami said...

Today I almost forgot Kate had preschool to make up for whatever holiday was Monday. I was watching cartoons with the girls (aka. sleeping on the couch) and realized at 9:20 that she had to be at preschool at 10.

We skipped breakfast altogether, besides the leftover brownies the girls ate while I was "watching cartoons with the girls," and Andie and I dropped Kate off in our jammies.

Nice huh? This is why I love you so much!

Kristi Wilkins said...

ahhhh that makes me feel better. You're awesome!

Rebecca said...

Well, as Mr. Incredible taught us, "every Super has a secret identity."

Even Supermom.

Gina said...

Love it. I love the changing pen idea. You know we have all done that on something at some time in our lives. Why not the kids' reading too?

Panama Jones said...

Cookies for lunch, but cake is for breakfast. Bill Cosby said so!

Threeundertwo said...

I've done the cake for breakfast thing. Also? I send the kids to school after healthy breakfast then have my "real" breakfast.

We all do it. Love your frank confession. The different pens? genius.

ablackman said...

I'm telling you folks, this supermom's oatmeal is better than any cake, cookies, or box of cold, sugar-coated cardboard.

(Gerb, I'm trying to recall if I've ever seen you eat an entire bowl of "pasty-nastiness".)

Sybrina said...

Yep- I do that.
Yep- I do that one, too.

Thanks for sharing your secret life with us. You still are a super mom though!

Chelle! said...

What?? I know there is a superwoman cape somewhere at your home that belongs to you. You are amazing!! You just gave thousands and thousands of your readers ideas on how to become just like you...SUPERGERB!!! I bet there is a line at the store right now purchasing different color of pens to help them with their children's reading assignments. Yep, I will have to say...GO SUPERGERB!!

pam said...

YESSSSS! I'm not the only one who puts the kid to bed in sweats so we don't have to fight the clothes battle in the morning! Awesome.

P.S. We had french toast for breakfast at 11:30 this morning. Right there with ya, cuz.

Sister Pottymouth said...

That made me feel SO AWESOME!!! Proof that I'm not the only one who neglects the kids while I check e-mail & read blogs. Ha! You have made my whole week. I am so glad I'm related to you!

An Ordinary Mom said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you ... thanks for making us all feel normal :) !!

Trish said...

I love this post. I know you are trying to dispell the notion of you being "supermom"...but this post to me just confirms everything that is AWESOME about you! Sigh of relief...your'e not perfect!! You wouldn't be Gerb otherwise.

You only have to see the love in your home and watch your kids interact to know the real story!

Teachinfourth said...

Wait just a minute? You fudge the hours on your kids' calendars? You realize I have to report this to the 'Secret Teacher Hotline' right?

Gerb said...

tchn5th- I was a little worried about that. Please report Cari as well. I think we'd have fun in detention together.