Monday, January 5, 2009


My new "job" at church on Sundays is to teach a class of 4-year-olds in the Primary, the organization for all kids ages 3-11. I started yesterday.

The reason I have this new job is because Hubba is not a big fan of going to his class on Sundays. The thinking was that if his mom was his teacher, he'd go. Sounds reasonable, right? I thought so, too.

We underestimate Hubba.

I came prepared and excited for my first day with Hubba in tow. At first, he seemed excited.

"You are my chee-cher, Mom! You will be my chee-cher all the year!" he happily chattered on the way to the Primary room.

After 5 minutes of sitting on my lap, it started.

"Mom, let's get out of here."

"Where should we go, Hubba? I am your teacher now, remember? I am the teacher for the other kids, too. We get to be together all the time on Sundays now! Let's listen to the new song!"

"No, Mom, you don't look like my chee-cher no more. You're just a mom. Let's go to nursery."

(Nursery is the class I used to teach - the 18 months to 3 years old class. In nursery they have puzzles, trains, books and treats. Hmmm. Wonder why he likes it there.)

"Hubba, I am not in nursery anymore, and you are a BIG boy! Big boys don't go to nursery!"

"Yes they DO! And Primary is DUMB! And I want a DRINK!"

"Hubba, we will get a drink when we go to our class. Not right now."

And so on.

When we finally went to class, things started off well. The lesson was on choosing the right. The kids all sat in their chairs and listened well. Except Hubba.

Throughout the lesson he did all sorts of things.

He walked over to the light switch and flipped it off.

Then on.

Then off.

He tipped his chair upside down and sat on it, making train noises.

He kicked the divider that separated us from another class. Repeatedly.

At one point, he kicked the chair of the girl next to him. She raised her hand.

"Yes?" I asked, smiling.

"Hubba is kicking my chay-uh. I dough wanna sit by him any mo-uh."

Hubba sat in his chair again for about 20 seconds. In this brief window of time I passed out CTR rings. I told the kids they could look at them as a reminder to choose the right every day. Each child was excited and proud to wear one. Except Hubba.

He threw his at the window. Repeatedly.

And then it started. One of the kids in my class said, "Hubba! Choose the right!"

Another child chimed in, "Yo mom is tee-ching us to choose the wight! You are choosing the wong!!"

And another, "Look at your wing and wemem-buh!"

Hubba then proudly proclaimed (while laughing) "I don't choose the right! I choose the POOP!"

The way I see it, it can only get better from here.


pam said...

Ahhh yes...sounds just like my little towhead. Is that the CTR gang sign he's throwing? ;o)

Amber said...

Good luck with that. We saw your class field trip to the tithing slips, looked like you were having fun...

Holmes said...

Oh, Gerb, what a fun year you have in store! I love how you made the little voices come to life in your writing. I was seriously laughing out loud by the end. Can't wait to hear what happens next week!

cari said...

I'm sorry but this just made me laugh. "I choose the POOP!" -- classic.

Good luck!

Sarah said...

It wasn't that Mr. B didn't like primary, he HATED primary and I was in the primary presidency at the time. He wouldn't sit for anything and I thought every Sunday was going to be the worst day of the week.

But by April, things were looking up and he stopped saying naughty things. By May, he stopped throwing things, and by June, he had finally learned a primary song that he hadn't already learned at home. So I'm sure things will get better for ya because it's only January!!!

Good Luck!

Maleen said...

I know it's not polite to laugh until you cry at someone else's misery, but maybe if you didn't tell it so well...

Boyd and Sarise said...

That's classic! I think you telling it in the words of the 4 year olds makes it even that much better!! Boyd and I taught that class for a year, and kids at that age are just so darn cute!

Cami said...

"I choose POOP!" Love it!

Kate got a CTR ring in her primary class too. Except she cant remember CTR. To her it's a TCR ring that reminds her "To Choose the Right."

Cami said...

You would also have loved our Sunday School class. Our lesson was on the Plan of Salvation (Rob was teaching.)

One kid couldn't get past the fact that liars and murders go to the Telestial kingdom. He kept asking questions like, "So, a guy who dies with dynamite strapped to him because he blew up a building with a lot of innocent people in it, would he go to Outter Darkness?"

Rebecca said...

1. Why does the word POOP make me laugh out loud?
2. I wish I could be your co-teacher.
3. Maybe try growing your nails out, or getting acrylics. Playing with Sister What's-her-name's fingernails kept Emily happy her entire Sunbeam year. But maybe that was just Emily. (And I know H's not a Sunbeam anymore.)
4. I know you're not supposed to always bring treats, and I agree with the philosophy behind that rule, but even I pay more attention when there's a treat to go with the lesson. But maybe that's because I still have the attention span and mentality of a 4-year-old, because I think POOP is hilarious! (see #1)

Gerb said...

Pam- So it runs in the family?

Amber- Did you hear the comments they were making? I am SO going to love this class.

Holmes- Amen! I can't wait to see what happens next week either. This may become a weekly update...

cari- I had a hard time suppressing my laughter when he said it. But I managed.

sarah- and herein lies my problem: Hubba already has a year of primary under his belt. He still is not so fond of it. We'll see if things get better with his dad sitting in on class next week, too.

Maleen- I have to laugh, too - or else I will cry!

Sarise- I can see you guys enjoying that class. Kids that age say the BEST things!

Cami- That kid is what All-a-boy will be like in Sunday School in a few years, I'm sure.

1. I don't know, but me too. I laughed every time I re-read my post when I got to the end.
2. You are welcome to visit anytime!
3. That was just Emily. I would have to wear a dress with a train track built on and pockets full of Thomas trains for him to play with. And that still wouldn't work all the time.
4. I thought about that. The thing is, none of the other kids need a bribe. Maybe I could offer Hubba a treat at HOME? Hmmm...

Teachinfourth said...

I am speechless. I have no speech...

However, laughter? I have TONS of that!

cari said...

I told my husband about this post and we had a good laugh. In fact, all day today he kept answering every question I had for him "I choose the poop!" That, not so funny especially because he works from home and I saw him all day today!

Gerb said...

tchn5th- I know what you mean. I felt the same as it was happening!

cari- Thank you for telling me that! It makes me laugh all over again picturing your husband saying that to you all day.

pam said...

Ya know, it just might run in the family. Except for mine, all the talk is all about (ahem) toots: quantity, quality, odiferousness...sigh.

P.S. We were JackJack and Elastigirl for Halloween a couple of years ago. Great ideas run in the family too!

Burns said...

Okay that was hilarious! I've got tears from laughing so hard...I choose the POOP! Sabrina(Burns)