Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Night At The Theatre

(Two of the audience members, eagerly awaiting the start of the play)

I am often treated to a play which is written, directed and acted out by my kids. Last night's was especially suspenseful. Here are the general rules:

1. It must take place in the basement.
2. Costumes and props must be used.
3. If anyone forgets their lines, any other actor may fill in.
4. The script can change at any time. (Improv is good.)

And now, without further ado, I present for your theatrical pleasure:



We begin in the kitchen where the maid is preparing dinner.

"What are you doing here, Miss Coleson?" the maid asks.

"I'm just visiting." Miss Coleson responds.

"Dinner will be late, madam." the maid says kindly.

And then Miss Coleson pulls out a pink plastic knife from her tea set and STABS HER TO DEATH!!
(dim lights, crew member drags maid off)

"Mom! I'm getting dragged to change my costume!" the dead maid calls out to me.

Miss Coleson tries to visit Alyssa in her room.

Lucky for Alyssa there happens to be a guard at her door who sends Miss Coleson away.

BUT! The guard turns his back on Miss Coleson. Big mistake!!

She pulls out her pink plastic knife from her tea set and STABS HIM TO DEATH!!


Alyssa meets Miss Coleson in the secret passage to her secret cellar and asks, "What are you doing here?"

"Ever since you invited me to your birthday party and your dog bit me I have been ANGRY!" Miss Coleson yells. "And now you shall never see daylight again!"

Miss Coleson pulls out her pink plastic knife (from her tea set) and STABS HER TO.... wait!

Alyssa ducks!

She lives!

A guard happened to be in the secret passageway to the secret cellar and saw the whole thing and called 911!

A storm trooper shows up with a rubber-band gun pointed at the guard! Is he in cahoots with Miss Coleson?
No one knows!

Because at this point the cast giggles uncontrollably, takes their bows, and declares the show over.

But WAIT!!

Regardless of the fact that most of the audience has gone, the storm trooper turns his rubber-band gun on Miss Coleson and shoots her dead with a loud "P-choo! P-choo!" sound.
(close curtain)

Thank you for joining us for a night of mystery theater.

Tune in next week when the entire cast meets for a group counseling session.


Rebecca said...

Counseling, for having imagination and cooperation skills? You mean they're going to offer counseling to other numb youth, about how to have fun, right?

pam said...

That looks like quite the production! What fun.

I'm so glad my little towhead isn't the only one shooting blasters and swinging lightsabers. Phew!

Trish said...

The look on baby O's face is priceless!

Gina said...

Very fun. Happy to have been invited. I love to see how much fun your children have together.

Threeundertwo said...

Tea time can be deadly, I tell ya.

Cami said...

Luckily Miss Coleson's plan was foiled! I don't know if life would ever be the same without your sweet Princess.

Watch out for those pink plastic tea set knives. They're deadly!

Chelle! said...

Oh, how fun!! Do you think that they will write the skit for girls camp?

Gerb said...

Bec- There was a little more death than their usual plays is all...

pam- I have a feeling Hubba and Little J would get along splendidly!

trish- I think that everyday. He is the stinkin' cutest baby!!

Gina- Come anytime.

3under2- Around here, yes. They've been watching a bit too much of the old Nancy Drew reruns, I think.

cami- She assured me repeatedly that she was not really kill-ded after the first scene. Nice to have reassurance.

chelle- Don't ask or they will!

Teachinfourth said...

So, did you pull a muscle laughing? Holy Hannah...

In a word: Brilliant!

Gerb said...

tchn5th- Once they told me the title I said, "Wait... I have to get my camera," and they really pulled out the dramatics at that point. It was awesome.