Sunday, January 25, 2009

It's ME!


I have been mulling over this post in my mind for a long time.

I have no words to describe what I want to say with any degree of eloquence - so I'll just come out with it.

Here goes...

I can do more than just make/raise children.

Most of you are shocked, aren't you? It's OK. Most people think that's what I'm all about. And hey, can we blame them? Of course not! I mean, admittedly, I do have quite the talent for birthing beautiful babies. And, well, nine is a pretty big number to most people when it comes to kids.

Take my mom for instance. When I went to visit her at work the other day she introduced me to every person we saw like this:

"Have you met her? SHE HAS NINE CHILDREN!"

Not, "This is my daughter, Gerberta. She can be SO funny and clever and creative! She loves to sing and has been passionate about music for as long as I can remember. And you should taste her homemade bread. Her cooking is fabulous. She can get pretty crazy, too - she even plays the accordion a little!"

I understand her introduction. I know she is proud of me and loves my kids, and that makes me very happy. But you know what? There is so much more to me! So much that has been bottled up and put on the shelf, preserved and stored carefully away for future use.

I have mentioned before that I have a hard time choosing and making friends. I have to know you're for real before I can open up and really be ME. I have to know I can trust you with the things I share. But you know what? Once you make it past that, I want you to know everything! I want to sit my true friends down and say, "OK, my first memory was of the time I was 4 and my brother and I were pretending to be chipmunks..." and not stop until I have showed you every photograph, told you every story, cried and laughed and even sat silent at times, covering my entire life's history, so you really know what you're dealing with.

I guess that's what my blog has become.

You catch glimpses of my life as a mother and wife, but I love to throw in the sweet and spicy stories of my childhood and teenage years so you can get a taste of who I really am - and how I got to where I am today. This place is my outlet for writing, a passion I have enjoyed from the age of 7 when I wrote my first poem and discovered the magic of words.

So.

I have nine children. This is true. And I LOVE it! But inside that mother, there is another person.

Thank you for coming here, for reading my blog. Thank you for taking the time to get to know the real me.

It is the most generous compliment I could be paid.

above photo found on flickr.com

16 comments:

Happy Hubby, JJ, Bugs, Nenie and Sadie Jo said...

I have loved getting to know you. So THANK YOU for letting me!!! Your blog brings joy to my day.

I think I have only met you once but have learned to love you through your blog.

You are creative, inventive, talented and a great writer with a natural gift. I think I told you once that you should write childrens books, I would buy it.

I have noticed that you talk about music and can tell you have a love for it - but you don't have music on your blog?

Jen

Rebecca said...

What's amazing about you is that there is always more to learn about you! There are always more stories and hidden talents to discover. Good thing you're not done blogging (or being a friend) anytime soon!

I have lots of time for listening to your stories this week, Gerb. Do you have time to tell a few?

Martha said...

In the process of deciding what I wanted my own blog to be, I read lots and lots of other people's blogs. I go back to very few of them (unless they're relatives' or close friends'). But, Gerb, your blog keeps me coming back again and again, and this post you just wrote is EXACTLY WHY! I see myself in you...your love of your family, your crazy cool side, your
"talented person on hold for motherhood" side, your eighties kid side, even your testimony. Thanks for sharing it with a total stranger like me, and inspiring me to share glimpses of myself on my blog. (It's private, but just say the word and I'll invite you.)

Maleen said...

What an amazing post. I think all us mothers get swallowed up in motherhood every once in a while. It is easy to fall into their shadows (especially when there are nine shadows to be hidden in), but we are so much more. You are so much more. And that is exactly why I keep reading.
So thank you for making it fun and memorable.

Chelle! said...

Gerb--you are amazing!! I know that I have said it several times, but you are some kind of supernatural person. I can not even describe the amazing friend you have been to me. You are always going out of your way to make others lives a lot easier. You are creative, talented, sensitive, thoughtful, Christlike, and the list can go on and on. Thanks for being an amazing friend to me!!

annette said...

You could have titled this, "But wait...there's more!" :) You are a friend that I can totally realate to and I love getting to know you better.

My mom does the same thing too, except insert "6" where 9 is.

Grandmas.

Farscaper said...

I totally know what you mean. I get introduced as D's wife (by my MIL) or my mom introduces me as the one that lives in UT or is her "baby".

Hubby and I were recently talking about "the other me". Right now I'm mainly "mom", but I am like a racehorse pushing against the gate eager to get out and show the world what I have been and can be.

I obviously love being a mom though. I have the speed bump to prove it. LOL

Sister Pottymouth said...

That's why I love your blog. I've always liked you, but I never really knew you. And the more I learn, the more I want to know, and the more I love that I get to call you cousin forever and ever!

Cami said...

You are an amazing writer, and amazing person, and an amazing friend. When I think of you, I think of one of my favorite pieces of poetry.

Some people come into our lives and guickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.

Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
Author Unknown

Thanks for everything!

An Ordinary Mom said...

I just barely started reading your blog, but I can tell that you are one amazing person! And even though I only have 3 children, I feel many of the same things.

I come from a family of 9 children and I can kind of relate to what you are feeling, but through the eyes of my mom :)!!

Michelle said...

Yes, Gerb, I have to agree, you are quite the woman! I enjoy reading your blog. It always make me smile. And you do a fabulous job expressing yourself!

You are a great mother, friend, sister-in-law, and person in general. I always enjoy being around you.

I think you said it perfectly in your post, that there's that "other person" bottled up and put upon the shelf. I feel like that myself sometimes. I'm looking forward to many more "jars" being opened and learning more about you!

CoolRunnings said...

Gerb,
I love you and love your blog. Being a little further down the road I only wonder if you will find sometime in the future like I have, that while you thought you were 'on hold' you really were becoming the person you were meant to be all along. Every day I feel myself getting closer to my mother and what she said from the wonderful vantage point of 87, "Life isn't what I thought." Motherhood doesn't eclipse you it reveals you.

Anonymous said...

Hey Gerb......

At least you get your name mentioned when you are introduced!!! I get "this is my baby of the family, she's number 10".......HA!!! As a child I always thought my REAL name was....number 10......

Becky

Gerb said...

Jen- I wrote a whole other blog post, just for you. Thanks for your kind words.

Bec- You have my number. Name the time and place!

Martha- I'm saying the word. I'd love to read your blog! You can email me at gerbdonna at gmail.

Maleen- I have enjoyed your blog as well. Thanks.

chelle- You could have been describing yourself there. You are an easy person to be friends with! Thanks for always filling my bucket.

annette- ditto.

farscaper- I know exactly what you mean. And congrats on the new bun in the oven!

Sis. P- ditto! Your blog does the same for me. Maybe we should set up some kind of online reunion where we just all marathon-read each other's blogs for a weekend. Hmmm....

Cami- Wow. What a compliment. Thanks so much.

Ordinary Mom- Welcome! It's nice to know that others have the same feelings as we do sometimes, isn't it?

Michelle- So, you have a blog? When do I get to read it? ;) I love my sister-in-laws. You guys have become some of my closest friends over the years and I love getting to know more about you as well. Thanks for your kindness.

Aunt E- Wow. Your comment has not left my brain since I read it. Especially these 2 things:
*while you thought you were 'on hold' you really were becoming the person you were meant to be all along... and
*Motherhood doesn't eclipse you it reveals you.
Thank you for your wise words.

#10...I mean, Becky- You know mom! I am actually just introduced as 'her' with a finger-point. ;)

Teachinfourth said...

Gerb, this blog was wonderful. It's been good to learn a little bit more about the woman behind the madness.

Thanks for being so open and honest.

Gerb said...

tchn5th- Enjoy it while you can. Most of the "real me" is staying in my journal! It was totally worth writing this post just for all of the great comments I got. I have some pretty awesome family/friends.