Seems Reasonable

Quote of the day:

"I like to keep my eyes open fo pray-os because I listen bett-o wif my eyes lookin' a-wownd at stuff. And anyways, when I shut my eyes it just makes me want-a fall asweep." -Super C

Forever Is A Mighty Long Time

Some days I miss my dad a lot.

Some days, for no particular reason, I will have him on my mind all day long.

Other days something will trigger that place in my brain where all of my 'dad-memories' are stored.

In either case there is nothing much to do about it... except to remember.

When you lose someone you love to death, there is no describing the range of emotions experienced. I'm not sure I can speak for anyone else, but for me it has not gotten any easier as the years have passed. There will always be that void that only a father can fill. I will always love him and miss his physical presence in my life.

On days where I am particularly besieged with these thoughts and memories, I like to go visit his grave. There is some solace in being able to just sit there and sign to him, tell him my thoughts and feelings, disappointments and dreams. I am sure I appear to be something of a mad-woman, hands waving about in rushed thought and frenzied words as I sit at his graveside there in the cemetery, but it is my way of working through things.

When I have these days, I talk and cry and laugh and even scream until I have said my piece. And when I am done, I look down at his grave and see this:
And I am comforted. I find peace. I am so thankful to know that I will see him again someday.

I am thankful for the knowledge that death is only a temporary situation.

I am thankful that my family is a forever family.

Family Photos - Part 1

We got our new family pictures done recently and we love how they turned out!

The whole crew

Coolister

ElemenoB

Thumbelina

The "big girls"

All-a-Boy

Cowgirl
Princess
The "Little Girls"
Curly
Hubba
Little O
In true form...

Want to see more? Go check out the rest (and some of my favorites!)
at our awesome photographer's blog.

I am thankful to have a friend with an amazing talent for photography!
All photos are by Jason of Backroads Photography.

Fifteen Years

Fifteen years ago today, I fell in love.


We were expecting our second child and had decided not to find out the baby's gender. We already had a boy, and I was secretly wishing for a girl. My wish was granted in the early morning hours of November 11, 1994 as we welcomed ElemenoB into our family.

I loved everything about her from the start. Her thick, dark hair, her pouty little lips and large, inquisitive eyes... every tiny feature seemed perfect.

It is amazing to watch the transformation of a human being over the course of fifteen years. She has grown from a small, completely dependent little infant into a confident, beautiful teenager. She has changed from the toddler with screaming tantrums and a love for nothing but elastic waistbanded pants to a young woman who is a fiercely loyal friend and shopaholic.

She is a kind-hearted, creative, generous, gifted, stylish, outgoing, studious, fun-loving individual.

Happy 15th Birthday, ElemenoB!

I am so thankful to call myself your mother.

A Woman's Work Is Never Done

Three out of three UDOT males agree...   Manual labor is women's work.
Today I am thankful that my brother likes to take awesome pictures with his iPhone. Thanks, Chip!

Heroes

Last week I was having a discussion with my Sunday class of 4-5 year olds about who their heroes are.

BatMay-un, SpydoMay-un and even Hannah Muntana were mentioned.

To clarify, I asked them to think of people they would want to be like, those whom they looked up to and thought were amazing.

BatMay-un, SpydoMay-un and SooPaGul were named.

I explained further that Superheroes were, in fact, amazing, but not real people. Could any of them name any real people who were their heroes?

"Is Hannah Muntana for weals?" asked J~.

"Sort of," I answered. "But I mean people who you guys actually know. People who you talk to and see all the time. Someone who does nice things and loves you."

"I KNOW!" shouted Super C. "You is my he-wo, Sisto Bwack!" And all of the other munchkins were quick to agree.

And so, although that wasn't quite the answer I was looking for, I left it at that. Because even if it was just a response to butter me up some, it may have choked me up a little.

Today I am thankful that the funniest, sweetest little people in the neighborhood are my friends. And really - my heroes.

Friendly Hands

Every year I am required to attend 20 hours worth of interpreting workshops to maintain my certification. Last night a workshop was offered for FREE, and being the penny-pinching, thrift-loving money-miser that I am, I could not resist.

Apparently, no one else could either.

Aside from the fact that it was an interesting and informative class, it was like a reunion of sorts. (Almost) EVERYONE was there!


I'm not sure which I enjoyed more, the workshop itself or the visiting with everyone before and after.

Okay, who am I kidding? The visiting wins.

I am SO thankful for my awesome interpreter friends!

Duplication Is The Sincerest Form Of Fattery

above photo from thesweettoothfairy.com - all other photos by me

When I discover a treat that I cannot get enough of, I usually try to duplicate it. For example, Double Fudge Cake Bites from The Sweet Tooth Fairy. The first time I ventured into their shop I was offered a sample of these little morsels of heaven and my taste buds screamed with joy! I knew I had to make them on my own to appease my sweet tooth. A wonderful friend sent me a recipe discovered online and within a few days I was working at making my own little sweet treats.

Bake the cake, crumble it up, add some frosting, roll the mixture into cute little cake ballies...


And make sure you have ALL DAY to do it, because it's not as easy as it sounds. Freeze the cake balls for a while, then attempt to chocolate-coat them...


(I couldn't get the chocolate thin enough to look pretty.)


Yet, still... the end result? Delicious!

But not quite the same. (*sigh*)

I think the next time I go in I'll ask if I can borrow the Sweet Tooth Fairy's wand. (Do you think that could be her secret?)

After a few vain attempts, I have realized that my cake bites will never be like the Sweet Tooth Fairy's. And so today...

I am thankful that the bake shop which holds the magical recipe to create these sinful delights is just down the street.

The Big FOUR-OH!

I have been looking forward to telling you everything that I am thankful for today. This one's easy... I am thankful for this guy.


Today Allen celebrates his 40th birthday. So first off, let's give credit where credit is due: I am thankful to my sweet mother-in-law for getting him here. And for raising him the way that she did so that I could have such a great man for my husband.

I won't get into too much detail here, but let me tell you a few reasons why I am thankful for this man of mine.

I am thankful that he is service-minded. He is always going out of his way to do kind things for others, even when he doesn't always have the time to do so.

I am thankful for his ability to make or fix or build or do ANYTHING he sets his mind to. If he doesn't know how to do something, he's not afraid to learn.

I am thankful that he loves kids as much as I do.

I am thankful that he has such an amazing family which I have called my own from the start. I have the best in-laws on this planet!

I am thankful that he works hard and takes pride in a job well done.

I am thankful that he knows when to be serious... and when to be silly. It is so fun to have a spouse who laughs at my jokes and makes me laugh as well.

I am thankful he is mine.

Happy Birthday, Allen! Here's to many, many more years to celebrate together.

Creative Genius

On Sunday our family enjoyed dinner with cousins Glen and Jeannette. It is not often that our large family is invited over for dinner - and understandably so. However, Glen and Allen were born less than a week apart from each other and grew up more as brothers than cousins, so we were invited over and enjoyed celebrating their birthdays together.

Cousin Glen (pronounced Guh-Len, in case you wanted to know) was thoughtful enough to get Allen a gift in celebration of his upcoming big 4-0. The difficult part of wrapping a gift from one manly-man to another is that whole cutesy factor. I mean, they don't exactly make gift bags and tissue paper with ATVs and mud and guns plastered all over them. Well, with a little tape and creative genius, cousin Glen solved that problem.


One word: Awesome.

p.s. Today I am thankful for cold cereal and warm socks... and cousin Glen's creative genius.

Autumn Leaves

Today I am thankful for kids who love autumn as much as I do.

In Utah autumn is just a blink between summer and winter so we try to enjoy it fully while it's here. We play in the leaves, bake up pumpkin-infused treats and eat them until we almost turn orange, and marvel over the brilliance of the changing colors on the mountains that surround us.

The photo above is by Thumbelina, taken a couple of weeks ago just down the road from where we live. It is our favorite local tree, towering over a vacant field. In the autumn it transforms from green to the brightest of yellows and then slowly creates a blanket of leaves at its base until the winter winds have blown every last one away. The day Thumbelina took this picture she was admiring the sunset and suggested we see how it looked behind this tree. The word breathtaking comes to mind.

And then this morning I found a little orange booklet on the table, a Halloween book which All-a-Boy has been working on in his class at school, containing the following poem which he authored:

Leaves jump from the trees,
Diving into a suicidal fall,
Autumn has arrived.
Autumn brought its cold winds,
Autumn has brought its gray skies.
I hear the wind knocking at my door,
Like an anonymous guest,
Waiting to be let in.
Clouds hang overhead,
Threatening me with their ice and snow.
I smile.
Autumn is amazing.

Amazing, indeed.

Giving Thanks

I'm jumping on the bandwagon and posting every day for the month of November. I will post about something I am thankful for everyday until Thanksgiving... but for the days after Thanksgiving, it's free game.

Actually, the whole month is free game, but I promise to try. If I post everyday, I am going to give myself some sort of award or something because frankly, I'll deserve it.

Today I want to tell you how thankful I am for unintended humor. It's something that happens a lot in our home, and today was no exception.

I went downstairs to get the kids up from their Sunday nap so we could head over to dinner with some cousins. All-a-Boy was wearing shorts so I reminded him that it was no longer summer and told him that he needed to get some pants on. He grumbled and griped because his one pair of favorite jeans without holes were grass-stained. I pulled out a brand new, never worn pair of khakis from his drawer and told him to wear those. He grumbled and groaned and pulled them on to just below his buttocks and proclaimed that they were too big. I made him pull them up... a perfect fit! He then admitted that he hated khakis and would never have let me buy them when we were school shopping except that he just wanted to make me happy. I told him that if he just wanted to make me happy then he needed to wear the pants to dinner.

In true All-a-Boy fashion he rolled his eyes, gave an exasperated sigh, and asked, "What, am I going to see the President of the United States or something?"

"Yeah, All-a-Boy," I answered. "All 10-year-old boys in their t-shirts and khakis are ready for a formal evening with the president." Then I could no longer contain my laughter over his remark... and he rolled his eyes and tried to hide that he realized how silly it was, too.

In the end, he wore the khaki pants to dinner. If the President decided to show up, I'm sure he would have been pleased.

Spooky

(And that's all I'm going to say about that...)

Happy Halloween, everyone!

cartoon from inkygirl.com

Defining Moments

As I opened the book which held the poetry I wrote as a teenager, pages which I had painstakingly typed out over and over on my mother's typewriter until they were devoid of misspellings, the title page I had placed in the front brought back a very distinct memory of a defining moment in my life.

My English teacher, Mr. Spade, presented us with an assignment. We were to find a classic book by an American author to read and present to the class. I groaned. I despised reading for any reason apart from my own enjoyment and was not looking forward to the project. I walked to the city library and asked for some recommendations. The first book out of the librarian's mouth was "Thoreau's Walden" so I checked it out, brought it home and set it on my dresser, never even cracking the cover to read a word until almost 2 weeks later when I was given the date for my presentation.

I remember sitting in the small alcove beneath the stairs across from our apartment, my own quiet place for reading and writing, and beginning to read Thoreau's words. Initially I was frustrated because the words did not flow in a way I was accustomed to, the language required more thinking on my part. But as I progressed through the story of this man's escape from civilization, I became fascinated. And when I read these lines, something in me changed:

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach,
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

I read over these words countless times, each time realizing that I wanted to do more. I wanted to be more. I wanted not only to live, but to "live deep and suck out all the marrow of life" as Thoreau had described.

I began to search out those around me who seemed to live life to the fullest - happy people who lived with determination and purpose - people who I wanted to emulate. I would question whether my actions were truly a reflection of myself or of just trying to fit in. I eventually learned to do and be and live in a way that I was comfortable with myself and the things that made me who I was. I learned to let go of many inhibitions which kept me in a shell and became a happy, passionate, more outgoing young woman.

Most people who know me today do not know the quiet, shy young girl that I used to be. They are often surprised when I even speak of times when I was awkward and introverted. To me, this is a measure of my success.

So, thank you Mr. Spade.

Thank you Miss Librarian.

And thank you Thoreau.

I am glad to report that I am still living.