School Days For Seven of Nine

No, I'm not talking about that Seven of Nine...


I'm talking about these 7 of 9:

Coolister, my senior, who would only give me a quick fake smile and thumbs-up before running to catch the bus in his freshly-ironed shirt.

ElemenoB, the sophomore, who would not pose for a picture at all and just kept saying, "Go away!" So of course I had to keep taking pictures as she made her way down the block. And look what happened!

I captured a photo of Sasquatch!! (Thanks for putting up with me, ElemenoB. I am such a weird mom - wanting to take first day of school pictures and all of that.)

Thumbelina, our freshman! I can't believe I have 3 kids in high school. She almost missed the bus but still posed for a quick snapshot with a cheesy smile.

All-a-Boy, the confident 6th grader.

Cowgirl, our 4th grade sweetie.

Princess, the cute 2nd grader.

And Hubba... well, he doesn't start kindergarten until next week. But don't be fooled by the innocent sleeping face. This precocious little guy is just charging his batteries!

Where does the time go?! I can't believe the summer is gone - or that my kids are so grown up.

These are the things I am musing about today at Four Perspectives.

It's Not You, It's Me

I have made a decision.

After today's post, I am going to turn off my comments.

I have decided as of late that blogging is consuming way too much of my time. However, I can not give it up entirely. I love having a place to express myself, record my family's happenings and share my thoughts with others. Honestly, your comments are a large part of what makes my blog so awesome. But here is what happens. I read your comments. If you are someone new, I click over to your blog and read to get to know who you are. I sometimes leave comments on your posts. Once I have done this, I have made it known that I am a reader on your blog and I feel like I am now obligated to continue commenting.

But wait, there's more...

I also notice other commenters on your blogs. They capture my interest and I then click over to their blogs to read. I see catchy blog titles on your blog rolls and read more blogs. I comment and read and subscribe to my favorites. And then I start to wonder... why doesn't so-and-so read my blog or comment? I've read theirs and commented many times. Maybe I'm not cool enough for their blog presence. Maybe they read my comments on their blog and wonder who the heck I am and why I bother to keep coming back?

Seriously, it's like high school all over again.

So I stop commenting. Then I start again, but only sometimes. Throughout the process I find more new blogs to peruse... etcetera, etcetera. If I wrote a blog post that day, I have to keep checking throughout the day to see if I have received any new comments, making the time to respond to everyone who stops by so they will not feel the way I do when I leave comments that end up feeling all lonely and ignored.

The next thing I know it is 2 hours past time to make dinner, the laundry is undone, my stairs are littered with Legos and my smallest children have somehow managed to decorate the white wainscot in our front room with 6 colors of Sharpie while feeding themselves leftover oatmeal.

Honestly? I am embarrassed to even admit to all of this, but it is what it is. My name is Gerb, and I have a blogging addiction. (Here is where you say, "Hello, Gerb!")

I do not want to care about how many people are following my blog or how many people are leaving comments. I can not make myself worry over why I feel inferior to certain other bloggers. I do not have time for all of this silly drama I am creating for myself.

So please understand - it's not you. It's me. I hope this isn't a break-up, but an opportunity for growth. I will continue to write and I hope you will continue to enjoy what I post.

For the sake of my own sanity, this is what I need to do.

Can we still be friends?

Bedtime Songs

I do not sing to my children often enough anymore.

Last night as I went downstairs to silence the bedtime rabble-rousing, Hubba made the request. "Mom? Can you sing me a song?"

"Which one?" I asked.

"Angel song," he answered without hesitation. This song, actually called Angel Lullaby, is one I have sung to every child in their infancy. It is one I learned as a child and have loved ever since.

I began to sing and Hubba stopped me. "Can you please look at my eyeballs like you're singing it just for me?" he asked. I smiled, looked into those wide-open, inquiring eyes and was immediately struck with the idea that this would not last. That these kids of mine are growing up much too fast and that I needed to make more time for things like this - simple things like singing a song to them at bedtime.

I felt an urgency to create as many memories as possible in the short amount of time I have with these kids while they are still in our home - to create a bond that would bring them back home to visit once they no longer lived here.

For a moment, I could not sing. I could only enjoy the warm feeling that seemed to permeate my heart - a simple yet profound gift to me wrapped in melancholy - a reminder to enjoy every minute with my kids while they're here with us in our home.

So, I looked into those beautiful blue eyes of his and began to sing the Angel Song, just for Hubba. When I finished, he gave me a little smile and quietly muttered, "Fanks, mom." Be still my heart.

I started to leave when Cowgirl made her request. "Can you sing Be Like A Child?" Another favorite.

I sang. And then All-a-Boy asked for a song as well. I even heard Coolister crack his bedroom door open. Was it so that he could once again listen to the songs he heard so often when he was younger? I like to believe so.

Upon finishing my last melody I stood to leave the room. All was silent. I took a moment to look at each sleeping (or almost sleeping) child and offered silent thanks that I am blessed with so many amazing little (and some not so little) people to share my home and life with.

Today, I am thankful for the chance I was given to remember that each moment (and each child) is a precious gift. I am thankful that they teach me so much. And although my dreams of performing on Broadway stages were never realized, I am thankful for the captivated audience I have at bedtime.

I am thankful for the song of my heart.

Fifteen Years

Fifteen years ago today, I fell in love.


We were expecting our second child and had decided not to find out the baby's gender. We already had a boy, and I was secretly wishing for a girl. My wish was granted in the early morning hours of November 11, 1994 as we welcomed ElemenoB into our family.

I loved everything about her from the start. Her thick, dark hair, her pouty little lips and large, inquisitive eyes... every tiny feature seemed perfect.

It is amazing to watch the transformation of a human being over the course of fifteen years. She has grown from a small, completely dependent little infant into a confident, beautiful teenager. She has changed from the toddler with screaming tantrums and a love for nothing but elastic waistbanded pants to a young woman who is a fiercely loyal friend and shopaholic.

She is a kind-hearted, creative, generous, gifted, stylish, outgoing, studious, fun-loving individual.

Happy 15th Birthday, ElemenoB!

I am so thankful to call myself your mother.

Happy Memorial Day

We bought some of the brightest of these
And did some of this on them
Then we drove over here
And sent our messages of love to the heavens
Then watched as the sky swallowed them up.
We shared some great memories

And visited some friends.
We marveled over the beautiful landscape
Then headed back home.
It was a happy Memorial Day.

Big and Little

I was watching Coolister, my biggest kid, as he washed the dishes last night with my littlest boy, Baby O, playing at his feet. And I couldn't help but think - I remember when Coolister was Baby O.

I think it was yesterday. At least it feels that way.

Time sure flies.