The Ghost of Halloween Past

We have a trick-or-treating rule at our house which was my brainchild. It is: No trick-or-treating after you reach the age of 12. Some people pat me on the back and shake my hand and say things like, "YES!" when I tell them of my rule. Others... not so much. The reason I instituted this rule is because I get sick of seeing teenagers carrying loaded pillowcases from door to door - and often without costumes, mind you - ungratefully holding their bag open with expectations of free candy without so much as a 'thank you'. My teenagers (costumes or not) will not be those teenagers. For the most part it's all fine and good because once my kids hit the teenage years they (mostly) no longer have any desire to collect candy amongst the younger set.

That being said, I do feel a small twinge of guilt when I enforce the rule. Why? I shamelessly trick-or-treated until I was 17+. But for me, it was survival. I had to collect enough candy to live off of until our friends from church started bringing by the Christmas goodies. I fondly remember how we would trek over to the neighborhoods where every other door for a full block gave out a full-sized candy bar and we didn't give up until our bags were full to overflowing and there were no longer any porch lights on.

Then came the trades. My brothers and sister and I would sit in a circle on the living room floor and lay our candy out in piles (chocolate, not chocolate and undesirables) and barter for our favorites long after our parents had retired for the night.

The next step was finding a good place to hide the stash. It was almost like a game to try to find where one of my siblings had hidden their pillowcase. (And maybe I would sample one or two of their chocolates as a reward.) More often than not I cached my candy in 4 or 5 different places in case one of them was discovered - and the bag filled with my favorites always went in my backpack.

Last night around 10 pm a group of costumed teenagers came to my door in search of some candy to add to their already overflowing bags. TEN P.M.! I must be getting old and crotchety because I told them we were out of candy when really there was still a whole bowl full of treats on the piano. I felt a teensy bit bad when they politely thanked me despite leaving empty-handed and Allen pointed out that I could have gotten rid of more candy.

But I didn't feel too bad.

Because old habits die hard - and that leftover bowl full of colorful cavity-inducing crap was mine!




(Anyone want to trade me a Twix for 3 Dum Dums and a lime Tootsie Roll?)

I Heart Halloween

I wish I had time to write a blog post today, but life is crazy at the moment.

If I had time to write I would tell you all about how much I love Halloween, but I have roughly 45 pumpkins to gut and carve.

I could go on and on about how this is my favorite holiday, how I am that crazy neighbor that you don't understand because our family gets so into our Halloween decor, but I have a clown costume to fix and one more clown mask to find.


I'd tell you about how we transform our house and yard into the Cemetery Hotel and how this year is the off year when we throw in a spook alley, but I need to get to making the food for the disgusting dining room.

I'd love to tell you about how huge it's become this year with a cast of almost 30 teenage spooks and creepers from the neighborhood, but we're getting our haunted corn maze put back together after the continuous rain and wind that all but destroyed it a couple of nights ago.



I wanted to write about how fun it has been decorating the interior of the top floor of my house in preparation for having hundreds of strangers wander through it this weekend, but I still have to measure, cut and lay carpet remnants in the walking areas.


I wish I had time to tell you about the additions this year - the haunted lobby and creepy laundry room, the catacombs and south cemetery where the zombies come out at night, the forested tunnel and honeymoon suite... but the spider's lair is not yet complete and, well, someone's got to do it.

What I will tell you is that if you live anywhere near me and would like to come, we had tickets printed for both Friday and Saturday nights and we'd love to have you see what we've been putting together for the past few weeks in anticipation of this weekend.

For us, the real treat is having our friends and neighbors come through and enjoy a bit of a scare on Halloween weekend.

If you'd like a ticket, just let me know in the comments or send me an email at gerbdonna at gmail dot com. If I can't get one to you before this weekend then we can put one on hold for you with the lady who'll be passing out candy in front of the Cemetery Hotel.

I hope you can make it... we're dyyyyyyying to see you. (insert evil laugh)

Spooky

(And that's all I'm going to say about that...)

Happy Halloween, everyone!

cartoon from inkygirl.com

The Spooky Side of Halloween

This is how we usually decorate our house for Halloween each year.


But for this year... nothing.

We decided to use the time required for set-up towards installing a fence instead - something we've wanted for 12 years. So to make it up to our kids we've done a few other things to keep the Halloween spirit alive this year; one of these things was promising the 4 oldest kids a trip to the Haunted Forest. Allen and the 3 oldest kids had gone last year and came back with stories using the phrases 'totally freaked me out' and 'scared me half to death' which pretty much cemented in my brain that I would never have any desire to see it for myself. I mean, seriously, who PAYS for fear? Not me.

Until this year.

After numerous pleadings that I HAD to come and how it would be SO much more fun to go with someone who had never been, I caved. I live to please.

I had been to Knott's Scary Farm in California enough times as a teenager to know that the spooks and creepers can see fear in your face and that's when they target you. So my plan was to never look them in the eye.

Plan: FAILED.

Every creeper in that blasted Haunted Forest swarmed around me like I was the last piece of chocolate in a bowl of Halloween candy. And I didn't have to look at them... they would just breathe on the back of my head and I'd get the shivers and then they'd smell the fear oozing out of every inch of my body and follow me around relentlessly.

Can you say FREAKED. ME. OUT?!

Did it matter that I knew it was just a bunch of teenage boys for hire under those masks and cloaks? No. There is something about the whole atmosphere of a place that can dispel any words I had used to convince myself I could handle this.

Big 9 foot tall masked oxen? Gave me goosebumps. (made me scream) Freaky cloaked ax-bearer? Stalked me. Twice. (made me scream) Creepy clowns? Made me jump. (made me scream) White-masked chainsaw-wielders? MADE. ME. SCREAM. And that's the embarrassing part. I could not stop screaming! I would tell myself how ridiculous it was for a 37-year-old woman to be screaming at every turn in this blasted forest and to STOP IT RIGHT NOW but I couldn't listen to myself! Those stupid creepers made every last bit of common sense just disappear from my brain and I could not help being petrified.

When we finally escaped the maze I was exhausted. Every inch of my frame had been tensed up for the better part of an hour and I just needed to sleep. The next day I was aching as if I had done some strenuous sort of exercise the night before. But I will admit - in a strange way, it was a great time. Because who pays for fear? Me. And everything that was endured at night always looks better when you analyze it in the light of day.

For those of you who enjoy our home each Halloween, don't despair... next year we're going all out with some new features you haven't seen before - as well as a full-blown spook alley. And the best thing? At our house, no one pays for fear.

We give it to you for FREE.

The Order of Things

Apparently, if you are crazy enough to do this:

You may unexpectedly get something like this:


Where you could be told you've received this:


Any questions?

Gathering Leaves

To add a little something to our yard for Halloween, we scatter leaves over everything. The problem with this is that we do not have large trees that produce enough leaves for the desired effect, so I have to gather them from elsewhere.

This year I found the perfect spot - the parking lot of the church in front of my kids' elementary school was blanketed with the colors of autumn! I gathered leaves in small increments until Halloween day, when I hauled a small trailer over with me.

After dropping The Princess off at kindergarten I began to rake, creating swishy patterns on the bare pavement and grass as I swept away their leafy covering. The leaves filled the trailer by the armful until the job was complete.

And then I had a fleeting thought - but it wasn't fast enough for me not to catch it and smile.

I looked around and, seeing no one, climbed inside the trailer.

I covered myself completely with the leaves, these colorful gifts from the trees, and lay there in silence. I listened to the rustling of the leaves on the pavement beneath me, blown about by the wind. I breathed in the smell of younger Halloweens and of autumn, then sighed as I realized I could not stay this way for long, buried in my memories.

I held a silent countdown: 3... 2... 1... and then burst from the leaves, throwing them to the skies and watching with pleasure as they rained back down into the trailer and onto the ground.

I made quick work of recapturing the leaves that were lost. As I walked towards the front of the suburban to drive home, I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. A woman, sitting in the driver's seat of a car that had been there all along, eating her lunch, watching me.

I smiled.



I'm pretty sure she was jealous.

The Scariest Night of the Year!

No, I'm not talking about tonight. Although the results of today's election could be scary, indeed! But I'm not here to talk politics. I'm here to give you a full tour of our haunted house this year.

All of these amazing pictures were taken by the talented Jason of Backroads Photography. Thanks, Jason! To put it simply, you are awesome.

First, the view of the front yard. You better click on that one to really see all the details. Go ahead, click!
Here's a close-up in the cemetery. Spoooooky!
This was my witches' table just inside the front door where I greeted the trick-or-treaters.
Here's one of our new additions - a sign declaring the name of our Halloween abode. (Yes, Allen creates these in his head and builds them in our garage. He's got skills.)
Another new addition this year: the corn field.
The cemetery from another angle...Another shot of the house... I couldn't decide which one I liked best. (Just humor me. Thanks.)We had over 500 trick-or-treaters. It was crazy fun and the weather was perfect. The majority of the decorations came down last night, so Halloween season is officially over. (By the way, radio people, we still have Thanksgiving coming. Can you stop playing CHRISTMAS music already?!)

Hooray For Halloween!

Remember how we decorated our (haunted) house 2 years ago? And then how we went all out and even did a spook alley last year?

Remember how we said we're taking a break this year?

We lied.

All of the decorations will be back up this year, but not until Halloween week. So if you missed seeing Allen's amazing Halloween brainchild last year, come check it out!

And if you think it looks impressive during the day, you've got to check it out at night.


(But no spook alley this year. Sorry.)

My Halloween Evolution

As a child I wore this Witchiepoo costume (from H & R Pufnstuf) for as long as I can remember. Even after the brittle mask cracked and broke, I continued to wear the plastic costume. I loved being Witchiepoo.

Many years later, as a high school student, my friends and I wanted to go get some free candy on Halloween. (Isn't that all that teenagers go trick-or-treating for?) Alas, I did not have a costume, and only about $2.00 to my name. I knew most costumes were clearance priced on Halloween, so I went to the local mall to look for a bargain find.

I didn't find anything that cost even close to $2. But I did find some fart spray at Spencer's Gifts, and that got me thinking...what do people use fart spray for?? Maybe if they were a piece of poop?

My Halloween costume was decided.

I found a black trash bag (brown was not readily available) and cut out 2 leg holes, put on a black shirt, colored my face somewhat black and took a look in the mirror.

Not enough.

I drew a couple of flies, cut them out and taped them to the trash bags.

A little better.

I knew what would complete the outfit. I put my hair in a ponytail on top of my head, with more elastics in succession to achieve a tapered look up top.

Perfect!

I knew this blog would be incomplete without pictures, because who would believe me? I emailed my friend Julie, who pretty much documented my entire teenage life with her camera, and asked if she had any poop pictures.

Julie delivered (as I knew she would), and I present to you my completed look - Gerb the Poop, 1988.




I better not hear anyone saying they couldn't come up with a last-minute costume this year! I'm giving up one of my greatest ideas here.


And that, friends, is how I evolved from Witchiepoo to...well, just Poo.

You Should See It At Night!

** Welcome TIP JUNKIE Readers! And hello to those visiting from A SOFT PLACE TO LAND too!**
If you have any questions about how any of this was created, leave me a comment and I'll be happy to respond. Thanks for stopping by!

*******

Here's why I haven't posted anything new in the last week....

(driveway and garage)

(front lawn... check out the witch on the roof!)

(cemetery close-up)

(inside the crypt on the driveway)

(part of the spook alley inside the garage)

(the front room inside the house)

(more of the front room)

(front steps)

(witch on the roof appears to be flying at night)

Remember last year? Well, Allen really outdid himself this year. (And there are plenty more surprises you don't see here.) You seriously need to come to our haunted house on Halloween!

Getting Ready For Halloween

Allen and I have never been very festive when it comes to decorating for holidays. This is more a factor of time than anything else, I think. However, last year Allen decided we should decorate the house for Halloween. "Sure," I said. "The kids can help us make a few decorations during family home evening." We traced and cut out bats to tape on the windows. They were pretty cool. But Allen had something more in mind. He made the large witch cut-out to put over the front window, complete with green light in the background. (you can see our cool bat cut-outs, too.)
He constructed 4 tombstones from plywood, rebar, paint, and fake blood to include in our own little cemetery, right in our front yard. He cut out the sign and created the fence from posts and wire. This was still under construction as the first trick-or-treaters appeared last Halloween night.
This ghost was made from a wire frame and an old sheet. It was attached to a pulley and the string came into the bedroom, enabling us to move the ghost up and down. There was a black light shining onto the ghost to help it really stand out.
Our pumpkins were all carved with scary faces to fit the haunted house theme, and lined the stairs to the front door.
This skeleton prisoner was created from a skull and a bag of random bones, wired together. Allen built a body from boards, complete with ribs. I made the orange jumpsuit while Allen wired red Christmas lights into the eye sockets and built a gallows to hang him from over our garage.

Throw in a fog machine, some dry ice and a CD of spooky sounds, and we had quite a Halloween display!

But that was last year. Allen has had a whole year to think about other spooks and decor to add to the mix. More skeletons, coffins, a grim reaper...the possibilities are endless! We're going to have to start setting up at least a week in advance this year.

So, come Halloween, stop by for some treats...and maybe a few unexpected tricks!

We're dying to see you....
MMMUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!