School Shopping

photo from wikimedia.com

Don't ask me why I did it. I'm not so sure myself. But last weekend I took all of kids back-to-school shopping. At the same time. Yes, you read that right. All 9 of them.

The truth of the matter is that aside from it being completely exhausting and mind-numbing, it was actually kind of entertaining.

I paired most of the older kids off and sent them in search of clothes while I helped the younger ones with their selections. It turned out that Coolister didn't think he needed any new clothes with his recent bounty of birthday clothing so he took the two youngest non-school goers to peruse the toy and book sections of the store. Thank you, Coolister!

All of the kids had fun finding various articles of clothing that they tried on and narrowed down to "the ones", and I enjoyed helping them with their selections, but my favorite was Hubba. Let me first mention that I have never taken him shopping for clothing before - it has always just magically appeared in his dresser drawers.

When Hubba and I approached the dressing rooms to try on his pile of jeans, shorts and shirts he immediately informed me, "I don't need to go to the bafthroom!" I explained that these were not bathrooms but places to try on clothes to see if they fit. He cautiously opened a door, peeked inside and turned to me with a huge smile on his face, yelling loud enough for all to hear, "THERE'S NO TOILETS IN THESE FUNNY LITTLE BAFTHROOMS!" and let out a long giggle. I had to laugh as well. They did look like bathroom stalls.

I handed him a pair of jeans and told him to go in one of the little rooms, try them on, and then come out and show them to me. (Let me add here that I would normally just go in with him but I had to be available to see what my other kids were trying on in their own dressing rooms as well.)

Hubba thought this was a lot of fun and would come out each time, strutting and jumping to show me all angles of his clothing, and each time proclaim, "It fits! Let's keep it." Even when the pants came up past his ankles or the shirts showed his bellybutton. In his opinion, every item was a keeper. He also became aware that there were other parents waiting for their kids to try things on so despite my attempts to get him to stop, he often talked to them whenever I was preoccupied with another of my kids' clothing.

"Hey, lady. Did you see these great pants I got on? They're for school. P-cause I'm going to kinnergarden!"

"Excuse me, man. Did you see my cool shirt? Do you wanna see the back, too?"

"Hi there, guy. Like my shorts? They fit, doncha think? Hey, mom, that guy says my shorts are good. Let's buy 'em!"

It was more like a comedy show than a shopping spree. If I didn't have to stand the entire time (when did they stop putting chairs near the dressing rooms?) I think the whole experience would have even been enjoyable.

It's pretty amazing how something I dreaded was changed when my 5-year-old let me see things from his perspective.

Birthday Recap

My birthday was... amazing. It lasted almost a full week, which made it even better.

I woke up the morning of my birthday just after 9:00 a.m. Can you believe I slept that long?! I smelled fire and quickly jumped out of bed to investigate. Allen was in the bathroom, lighting candles. Hubba saw me first and said, "Shhh... we're getting things set up." Allen turned and nicely asked me to please go back to bed.

I laid there for a few minutes, wondering if it would be permissible to grab a book to pass the time, when my alarm went off.

"Does this mean I can get out of bed now?" I called. There was no answer. Everyone was gone. I turned off the alarm and ventured into the bathroom for a nice soak in the tub without kids asking when I'd be done or notes written in crayon being passed under the door.


Right about the time I was draining the tub some music began to play from somewhere on the bathroom counter. It was coming from some strange device I was unfamiliar with. I grabbed it and attempted to follow the instructions on the front but could not figure it out for the life of me. (Technologically smart, I am not.)


He had gotten me a fancy-schmancy phone, the abilities of which I can still not fully comprehend. (P.S. My one request was NO texting, so don't try. That's a whole separate post in and of itself.)


Finally, after 2 more songs, I found the lock and answered. It was my friend Jenny calling. Arrangements had been made for us to go for breakfast at Mimi's Cafe. She picked me up and we enjoyed some omelets, potatoes and muffins along with some great conversation. (It's always a good time with Jenny!) The waiter came to our table and asked which of us was Gerberta then handed me a card.

(like son, like father...)

The note inside explained that we were next going for pedicures & manicures. Can I add that the only thing better than doing all of this on my birthday was being able to do it all with a friend? We both lamented over our lack of recently-shaved legs but decided that they were used to such things at pedicure places. My hands and feet have never been so happy.

(No picture because I did not bring my camera and did not realize that my phone could take pictures. And besides that, my funky feet would likely frighten you. You're welcome.)

We made our way back to Jenny's house where Allen and the kids were hanging out with her family and then headed home for a bit.

Once the kids had returned from school and their dinner was ready, Allen and I met up with Dave and Jenny again, this time for a trip to our favorite local second-hand store. I had mentioned to Allen before that it would be fun to find some awesome outfits there and then go on a date wearing the newly acquired outfits sometime... so this is what we did.

We spent more time than we had originally planned in putting our outfits together but the selection was huge and the end result was well worth it. (My favorite? The shoes. On everyone.)

(He IS BYU. For reals.)


(Have you ever seen a more awesome pair of twinner jackets?! If only they'd had time to grow their hair into mullets...)

(They're having twins. One for each.)

(If those shiny jackets are hurting your eyes, I know.)

As we checked out with our awesome clothing purchases the cashier handed me an envelope with my name on it. Inside was a note from the store itself, thanking me for my hours of time and hoards of cash that have been spent there over the years:

Along with this card:

(Those D.I. workers can get a little risque!)

And then it was time for dinner.

Everyone at Olive Garden was obviously unsure if we were serious or not. Our waitress came to the table with a huge smile every time, as if she was thinking, If you're trying to be funny, I'm thinking you're funny. If you're really like this, then my smile means bless your dear, sweet hearts.

Once dinner was enjoyed we told them it was my birthday so that we could all share the dessert. Smiley-Waitress informed us, "We don't do dessert for birthdays, but we can sing you a rousing birthday song!" We had already (painfully) witnessed that at another table and decided to pass. Besides, the kids were waiting with treats at home. (Just thought y'all would like to know that before you head to Olive Garden for your birthday... they don't do birthday desserts anymore. But you still get an Andes Mint after dinner, which may qualify as dessert. You make the call.)

After modeling our new threads for Dave & Jenny's kids, Allen and I went home to celebrate with the kiddos. They had arranged my favorite treats into this, complete with 38 candles:

Can you say: awesome?

First off, I want to say that my husband ROCKS my world. All of the thoughtful planning that went into making my birthday so memorable was pulled off without my knowing one thing. I am so loved by he and my sweet kids. Thanks, family.


I had also received a plethora of treats, cards and surprises throughout the day and in the days following the anniversary of my day of birth...



Yes, I am spoiled. And I love it. Thanks to everyone who made my birthday awesome. From the 80+ birthday wishes on Facebook (!!) to the comments on my birth-day post to the treats and phone calls not mentioned or pictured here, my birthday was

A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

You people rule.

So, this seems like a good place to end things. But oh, no... it is not over yet. Because on Wednesday of this week, specifically March 31st, Allen and I celebrated with a gift I purchased for myself back in 2009... along with a couple of surprises thrown in.

I think that those deserve a post all their own.

(stay tuned...)

Regarding Laundromats

Because our clothes dryer's motor decided to make a dramatic exit the week of Christmas, (Dear Dryer, Nice timing, jerk. Sincerely, Gerb) I have recently become well acquainted with our local laundromats. It had been well over 16 years since I had the opportunity of laundering my family's clothing surrounded by strangers and I wasn't sure of where to go.

The first place I tried was like being in a foreign country right within a couple of miles of home. To summarize, I had children getting into my purse, eating my snacks and rummaging through my baskets while their parents sat nearby giving me threatening looks. When I went out to my car to lock my personal items in the trunk, I returned to find the mother of the previously mentioned children going through my clothes in the washing machines. (I promise you, I am not making this stuff up.) When I tried to ask the kids to stop or their mother to explain what in the world she thought she was doing, I was met with blank stares. The joke was on me... no one there spoke English. Needless to say, I did not return to this location.

My next attempt was in a place equally close to home but in a different direction. This place was definitely an improvement but it had the feel of a cowboy bar in the backwoods somewhere with a distinctive smell of chewing tobacco and some twangy music playing overhead... and me without my iPod. I firmly believe that I endured some sort of torture, having nothing to listen to except for the drone of washers and dryers along with sad songs about beer, trucks and boots. A homeless man wandered in, set his knapsack and bedding beneath a bench in the corner and checked all of the vending machines for forgotten change before locking himself in the bathroom for the remainder of the time I was there. I decided not to return here, either.

Allen suggested I try the place we frequented as college students way-back-when. I was skeptical about the location still being a laundromat but I was happy to give it a shot. As I approached the building I noticed that everything around it had changed but the laundromat was still there. Suffice it to say that this is the place I have returned to every time since. Clean facilities, new machines, wireless internet and a comfortable atmosphere made it worth the extra drive.

There are some things to be said for laundromats in general.

First of all, it is awesome to get 8 loads of laundry done in a two-hour time span. It is also fun to people-watch and enjoy some treats all to myself (except at that first place) as the washloads are running. I'm sure it must have saved us some money on our gas and water bill for the last few weeks as well.

However...

It is no fun to load up the clothing and linens of 11 people and cart it into a self-serve laundry, basket by basket. There is also nothing glamorous about folding that amount of laundry in a short amount of time, keeping track of which dryers hold your items, or trying to hide your unmentionables from the people who surround you.

In the end it all comes down to this:

I'm definitely going to appreciate having a working dryer at home again.

Giving Thanks

I'm jumping on the bandwagon and posting every day for the month of November. I will post about something I am thankful for everyday until Thanksgiving... but for the days after Thanksgiving, it's free game.

Actually, the whole month is free game, but I promise to try. If I post everyday, I am going to give myself some sort of award or something because frankly, I'll deserve it.

Today I want to tell you how thankful I am for unintended humor. It's something that happens a lot in our home, and today was no exception.

I went downstairs to get the kids up from their Sunday nap so we could head over to dinner with some cousins. All-a-Boy was wearing shorts so I reminded him that it was no longer summer and told him that he needed to get some pants on. He grumbled and griped because his one pair of favorite jeans without holes were grass-stained. I pulled out a brand new, never worn pair of khakis from his drawer and told him to wear those. He grumbled and groaned and pulled them on to just below his buttocks and proclaimed that they were too big. I made him pull them up... a perfect fit! He then admitted that he hated khakis and would never have let me buy them when we were school shopping except that he just wanted to make me happy. I told him that if he just wanted to make me happy then he needed to wear the pants to dinner.

In true All-a-Boy fashion he rolled his eyes, gave an exasperated sigh, and asked, "What, am I going to see the President of the United States or something?"

"Yeah, All-a-Boy," I answered. "All 10-year-old boys in their t-shirts and khakis are ready for a formal evening with the president." Then I could no longer contain my laughter over his remark... and he rolled his eyes and tried to hide that he realized how silly it was, too.

In the end, he wore the khaki pants to dinner. If the President decided to show up, I'm sure he would have been pleased.

Tell Me Why

An open letter to the children's clothing industry:

I've been shopping for clothes for my kids lately and I have a few questions.

Why are girls clothes so tight and short? I do not want to teach my girls that they should dress to flaunt their bodies. Could you make something a little less form-fitting for those of us who want our girls to be girls and not miniature women? (Actually, could you talk to someone about making women's clothes a little looser-fitting, too? Thanks.) And another thing...

Why is it nearly impossible to purchase a dress for a teenage girl with some length and sleeves? Don't make me get out my sewing machine. Seriously.

And why is it so difficult to find a nice pair of sturdy leather sandals in a size 2.5 without HEELS? My daughter likes to run and play in the summer. She's not a runway model. And those plastic "croc" type shoes are NOT sandals. Please stop calling them that.

Another thing - could someone open a store called "In Season"? Because when I want to get some capris or a one-piece swimsuit in the middle of the summer and they're all clearanced out to make room for school clothes, that's a little frustrating. I mean, I'm shopping for things we're going to wear NOW, not two months from now.

Thanks for listening. I'll look for these improvements next year.

Until then,
Gerb