Which is why I kept my moaning and groaning to a dull roar yesterday. I had many emotions I wanted to put forth.....but didn't.
I know exactly how you feel, Rachel. Allen is always telling me that I need to learn to get those feelings out in a constructive manner but my emotions always like to interfere... and I hate when the waterworks turn on. When I become frustrated that someone misunderstands my point of view or that I cannot adequately express what I am thinking - it is automatic. I start to cry. it doesn't matter if I want to or not. This is one thing that I really, really dislike (I try not to say 'hate') about myself.There's a part of the novel I was going to leave in your comments yesterday. Maybe I'll just give it to you little by little like this... in chapters. ;)
I look forward to the rest of the novel. The whole tears thing is a frustration for me. When I'm alone and feel like it is 'okay' to let them fall they won't.......when I'm in public and embarrassed....then they sprout forth and it makes me angry!!! Because it makes me even more embarrassed! I want to just cry like a normal person! But I can't.....for some reason. Emotion wasn't something we were always allowed to show growing up. Suck it up, be tough! That was the motto we lived by. Appear as if all is right in the world and even if it isn't, look happy dang it! :D
Ahem, ladies? I don't mean to intrude on your conversation, but I couldn't help reading your thoughts and feelings.And I've decided this is why I like you both so much. Because even as I sit here to write about how I feel about all that you've written I have trouble formulating the words. But I understand suppressing emotions because you don't want to "rock the boat". I have been well schooled in this and from that I have a hard time expressing myself, esp. verbally. Writing has been my saving grace in this arena. But I still try to stay clear of the controversial subjects you talked about in your 4 P's post, except maybe Twilight.:) But not really because I don't want to offend anyone, which really I don't, but I want or rather need, people to like me and I want to please everyone. And I think your both of your waterworks are normal; at least, that is how they have always worked for me. Always in public, not private. (Rachel, Think testimony meeting a few months ago. I was fine at home, but get me to church, on a podium, with a microphone in front of my mouth and it all comes pouring out of my eyes!) From having 3 brothers I gained many things, a thick skin was not one of them. Although, I try to do my best.Anyways, thanks for letting me intrude...And for being my therapy couch- you can send me the bill later.
Gerb, So this may be the best place to tell you this...I thought about calling you, but I figured I would just stumble on my words and make it worse. I thought about e-mailing you, but I don't have an address. I would've commented again there, but I didn't want to do it infront of all those who may have subscribed to the comments there, but I really hate the comment I left on your "Nobody Wins" post. I love my children and I would never want to intentionally subject them to anything that obviously has long lasting and difficult effects. I guess what I really meant was that if my kids had to deal with being bullied (after all that I could possibly do), I hope they could rise above it and become the type of person you've become. There. I feel better. Thanks.
Intrude? Are you kidding me? Three's a party! Let's party girls!!! Just don't ask me to show any emotion while we're partying. ;)
I wouldn't never leave you a hate comment. :)
Rachel & Natalie- It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels like a big baby when I cry and can't control it. Thanks for all of the kind & encouraging words. And Rachel - I still can't believe we haven't met yet.Anaise- I know you wouldn't. Thanks for that. =0)
Oh, and Natalie- I knew just what you meant with your other comment on the bully post. No clarification was needed. ;)
Gerb, I'm thinkin'.....just a random thought.....that we need to fix that! Yes?
I currently have four blog posts sitting in my "drafts" file, taunting me and staring at me every time I sign in. I do not have the courage to post them, I don't want to offend anyone, nor do I like confrontations. *sigh*I'll just keep posting the funny stuff and hope that people don't get tired of laughing...
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