Little Boys

He's recharging.

Go Ahead - Make My Day

As I drove up to my house early this evening I saw a cluster of smallish people outside my front door.

When they turned and saw me they ran towards my car - and they weren't even my offspring. They were some of my favorite kids from our neighborhood.

"Hey, Sisto Bwack!" Super C yelled as he ran to me. "These are for you! For your birfday!" He and his brother, along with N~, handed me a bag filled with treats. "Thanks, guys!" I said. "This totally makes my day!"

"Guess what else?!" Super C asked with all the excitement that could possibly be contained in a 6-year-old body. "N~, do the bark!"

N~ looked at me with a sly grin and let out a few barking noises. "Can you be-weave it?!" Super C asked. "It sounds like a REAL dog!" N~ then turned to Super C and said, "Do the burps!"

Super C produced a series of quick burps-on-demand. "Isn't that awesome?!" N~ proclaimed excitedly. "It sounds like REAL burps!"

The treats were fantastic, but nothing compares to the method of delivery.

Kids. Are. Awesome.

Creative Writing

I will be the first to admit that I am partial to my kids' creativity. But this? This is awesome.

Hubba's kindergarten teacher gave this to me at parent/teacher conference last week:

In case you can't decipher it, it reads:

Where is my?
Hot DoG?
It is on my hed.

She asked the kids to write a short story and draw a picture to go along with it. She said that Hubba's was a class favorite. And how could it not be? It just screams Hubba - creative, funny and unexpected.

It makes me laugh every time I think about it. It is, in my biased opinion, the best short story - ever.

Unexpected Gifts

Music has always been a part of me and a part of my life in a large way. Somehow, the people who I become good friends with always seem to be people who share this passion for music. It is as if we are drawn to each other somehow. I like to imagine that perhaps there are two dimensions which co-exist in this world - the dimension where we all live and interact with each other as well as a higher dimension where people are uplifted, inspired, moved and influenced by music.

When I was a junior in high school I was a member of a choir called Aristocracy. The teacher, Mrs. Jensen, decided that for the last half of the year we would have 'secret pals' in this choir. The plan was for each of us to secretly leave small notes and gifts in a large box labeled "Secret Pals" for the person whose name we drew.

I was excited about this plan. I hoped and maybe even silently prayed that I would draw the name of my friend Debi because I knew everything about her and could imagine all sorts of perfect little surprises that I could gift her. But really, everyone in this choir got along well - perhaps because we co-existed on that higher, music-infused dimension, so I wasn't too worried about whose name I would choose.

I pulled a slip of folded paper from the bowl on top of the piano and went to a corner of the room where I could peek at the name of my secret pal. It was Richard Yu.

Richard was probably the most quiet and shy of all the members of Aristocracy - pretty much my loud, attention-seeking opposite. He mostly kept to himself so I didn't know much about him. Initially I will admit that I was a little disappointed to have chosen his name, but that quickly changed.

At first I did not know much about Richard aside from the fact that he liked to sing, so I would leave him things like candy bars and gum - you know, the sort of things that it was safe to assume most teenagers could appreciate. Eventually, as I watched him and got to know him better, my gifts became more personalized. He became someone I considered to be a close friend even though he did not really know much about me or who I was. I saw that there was more to him than was perceived in a glance.

One thing I loved to do for my friends was to share music. I would sit next to my pale pink radio with a blank tape in the cassette deck and press the record button when one of my favorite songs would play. Once the tape was filled with good music I would make a copy for myself in our dual-cassette deck stereo and gift the original to a friend. After one especially good weeks' worth of recording I decided to gift my tape to Richard.

I was so excited. This tape was definitely one of my best - it contained songs from Depeche Mode, REM, The Smiths, The Cure, U2, Pet Shop Boys and UB40. I wrote a note to him, explaining that these were some of my favorite songs, along with a 3x5 card which listed each song and artist. I watched the next day as Richard checked the secret pal box and picked up the gift I had left him. I wondered what he was going to think.

A week later I found something unusual in the choir room - a gift labeled "For Richard Yu's secret pal". I waited until everyone had left the choir room at the end of class and then retrieved my gift and quietly slipped it into my backpack. During lunch I opened the note taped to the top of the cassette-shaped package. It read,

Thank you for sharing your music with me. I want to share my music with you also. -Richard

The tape had a label which read: Beethoven. I wasn't sure what to think. This was definitely not my typical genre of music. In fact, I could not remember ever listening to any classical music before. I placed the cassette and note back into my bag and forgot about them until a few days later when another note waited for me:

Did you like the music I left for you? I would like to hear more of your music. Thank you, Richard

When I got home that day I listened to the music of Beethoven for the first time. And I cried. There was something so beautiful in the way that the music flowed and swelled. There was such passion and emotion in this music that I had never taken the time to listen to! It helped me to understand Richard on a different level, somehow. I made a copy of another one of my tapes, this one with more of a variety of music from artists like Cowboy Junkies, Michael Jackson, Violent Femmes, They Might Be Giants, Journey, The Church and Def Leppard. I wrote a note thanking him for sharing the classical music of Beethoven with me and told him that it brought tears to my eyes.

This became our method of communication over the remainder of the school year. He shared his music with me - pieces by Bach, Vivaldi, Mozart, Pachelbel and Handel - and I shared my music with him, everything from Anything Box to Morrissey to Oingo Boingo.

It was difficult to see him in the halls and not talk about the music he gave me. I wanted to yell out, "Richard! Vivaldi's Four Seasons is my new favorite! Thank you!" But I couldn't reveal who I was until the end of the year. I often wonder if he knew anyway because of the way I tried to include him more in what was going on with the choir.

When our choir sang at Disneyland that spring and were free to explore the park for the rest of the day following our performance we split into smaller groups. I noticed Richard was standing alone at the outskirts of the groups and pointed him out to my friend Debi. "Let's have him join our group," I said. "Hey Richard!" Debi called to him. "Come with us!" He smiled shyly and joined us as we walked toward our first destination, Space Mountain. We each took turns choosing which ride was next and when it was Richard's turn he said, "I don't know. I have never been here before." We were all incredulous. Growing up in southern California, Disneyland was a regular destination for most teenagers. We all pitched in and got him some mouse ears with his name embroidered on the back and had the best time enjoying Disneyland through the eyes of a first-timer.

On the bus ride home from our day at Disneyland I asked Richard what his favorite thing was. "The music!" he told me. "There was music everywhere!" I had never really noticed that before, but when I thought about it, he was right.

When the year came to a close and it was time to reveal our secret pals, I gave Richard a tape I had purchased called 'The Best of Disney'. We thanked each other for the music which had been shared. But really, how could I thank Richard for all that he had given me? The true gift was my new ability to see beyond stereotypes - in music and in people.

Richard and I have not stayed in contact over the years, but I think of him anytime I hear a now-familiar classical piece of music or discover a new artist that stirs my soul or when I befriend someone who I might have otherwise shied away from.

Richard, wherever you are, thank you.

(Look what I found on my friend Kendra's Facebook page! This was the day. Awesome.)

Forget Reality TV - This Is My Life!

Some days, when I need a little bit of extra motivation to get a task done, I pretend I am a cocky contestant on a reality TV show called CLEAN! THAT! HOUSE!

Here's the latest episode...

VIMB*: GERB! We're so excited to have you back here on CLEAN! THAT! HOUSE!

Me: Happy to be here, VIMB.

VIMB: Are you ready for today's challenge?

Me: Bring it on, pal.

VIMB: Today you will be bringing order to the chaos that you call YOUR PANTRY! Let's take a look...


Me: No problem.

VIMB: Oh, but WAIT! You will only have 40 minutes to complete this task before you have to pick your kids up from school.

Me: Psh. I thought this was a challenge.

VIMB: AND! You must complete this task while attending to one crying baby and two rambunctious toddlers!

Me: Child's play, VIMB. I've got this one.

VIMB: We'll see about that! Ready aaaaaaaaaaand... GO!

(40 minutes later we have a full kitchen trash can, a sleeping baby, 2 toddlers enjoying a snack, a load of clean laundry in the dryer and this...)

VIMB: Amazing, Gerb. Simply amazing. How DO you do it?

Me: Determination, VIMB. Pure and simple.

VIMB: Tune in next time when Gerb faces her walk-in closet!

Me: Wait... what did I win?

VIMB: (chuckles) How could I forget? You get to use the bathroom WITHOUT INTERRUPTION for FOUR whole minutes!

Me: This is a reality show, VIMB. Don't toy with me.

VIMB: All right, all right. How about half of a Toblerone all for yourself? You can lock yourself in the closet while Curly and Little O finish their snack.

Me: Done.




*VIMB= Voice In My Brain

Quick Quips

"Bacteria are like cell zombies because they have no brains. That is, if you call a nucleus a brain."

"Sometimes I just forget to think."

"Every time a baby is born a mom turns into a milk cow."

(In a prayer) "And please bless that we can all be good so that God can have a good day today."

"Mom, I have more cookie?"
"No."
"But I soooooo cuuuuute!"

"I really want All-a-Boy to be with Jesus in heaven someday but he just keeps on following Satan. I'm going to miss him when I'm in heaven and I look down to where he and Satan are all hot and sweaty."

Shout Out!

Today I present you with a list of people/places/things that I would gladly recommend. You know, just in case you were wondering.

On the Web:
I have always had the desire to get my family eating healthier - but there are so many rules I know we should follow and things I know we need to put effort into in order to really make this happen. It can be overwhelming and frustrating. Until now! A friend recommended this blog: Word of Wisdom Living. And it is AWESOME. It teaches you how to incorporate just one new rule for healthier living each week and has informative posts regarding why and how to do so. If I was only allowed to read one blog, this would be it. It has been an inspiration toward helping my family live a healthier lifestyle. Seriously, go check it out.

In my neck of the woods:
If you need a new insurance policy from someone who really works for you (I mean it - he actually answers his phone or returns calls right away!) then you want to call Sean at LA Bowen Insurance. Not only is he a genuinely nice guy, he works to find a policy that both fits your needs and doesn't break the bank. If there is any insurance you need (homeowners, auto, life, etc.) then Sean is your man. For reals. Call him and you'll see what I mean. You're welcome.

At the grocery store:
One of my favorite things to buy as a treat for myself is an Izze. What's an Izze, you ask? Only the tastiest drink around. Want to know what makes it better than a typical soda? Well, it's naturally sweet with no refined sugars. It has no caffeine, no preservatives, and no artificial flavors. It is 70% fruit juice with a splash of sparkling water. And it comes in an awesome array of flavors, my favorites being the Clementine, Blackberry and Pomegranate Sparkling Juices. If you've never had one, you're in for a treat.

When Tillamook cheese is on sale, BUY SOME. Trust me on this. Words can not do this cheese justice - it is in a class above all other cheeses. If you've ever had the pleasure of eating some, you will know what I mean. Now I need a grilled cheese.


*No one asked me to write this post or compensated me in any way. I just really, really love these people/places/things and think they deserve a shout-out. Plus I've seen these kind of disclaimers on other blogs and I thought it would make me look like one of the cool kids.

On Being Cheerleaders

photo from here

I love my neighborhood.

One of it's finest features, as in all great neighborhoods, is the people.

I have one across-the-street neighbor in particular who I have loved interacting with over the years. Initially it was just watching her as a smallish person, hearing the well-worn basketball as it would beat against the concrete while she practiced dribbling and shooting in her driveway. Ashley was an awesome little kid who was much more comfortable in tennis shoes, knee-length shorts and a Scooby Doo t-shirt than the other girls her age who wore cute bejeweled sandals and pink everything.

As Ashley grew older her basketball practice paid off - she played in some city leagues and eventually made it on to her high school's varsity basketball team. I don't think it's much of an exaggeration to say that she was the star... and we were all proud of our Ashley.

Well, Ashley grew up. She graduated from high school last year and signed on to continue playing basketball for a college in Colorado. Everyone missed Ashley - but we were in luck. Her team was coming here, to Utah, to play against two of the local universities! The excitement in our neighborhood was palpable. Ashley was coming home!

As my oldest kids and I walked into the game, we were thrilled. There, filling the stands for the away team, was Ashley's own personal cheering squad! There were signs! There were custom-made t-shirts!
Girls who had played basketball with her in high school, neighbors, family and friends all yelled and cheered our hearts out for #4. We talked to each other in excited tones over how amazing Ashley was and what a thrill it was to watch her play college ball. Any time she had the ball in her hands, her cheering section went wild. We jumped to our feet when she threw a pass. We pumped our fists and shouted for joy until our throats were sore when she made a shot. Any time she was on the bench we all screamed to put her back in. The crowd had a fever, and the only cure was MORE ASHLEY!!
The local university's team had never seen anything like it. There were more fans for the away team than there were for the home team. Why? Come what may, we were there for Ashley! She could do no wrong and we loved cheering her on through it all. TEAM ASHLEY!

Wouldn't it be awesome if each one of us had such a cheering squad? Can you imagine what it would be like if no matter where you went there was someone there to encourage you, pumping their fists in excitement and letting you know that they believed in you and knew you were capable of anything you wanted to achieve? I wonder what it would feel like to have such incredible support in everything you chose to do.

Hey! Why wonder? Why imagine? Let's do it!

If we could all offer this kind of acceptance, encouragement and unconditional love to our family, friends and even strangers that we encounter, the possibilities of what each of us could achieve are endless.

I'm the head cheerleader for team YOU.

GO YOU!!

That's How You Know

Each Sunday that I missed church over the last couple of months I have been presented with a Tootsie Roll from Hubba as soon as he gets home. The awesome family who is in charge of running the church library on Sundays always has a dish full of treats available for those who return their borrowed items - and for those who just want a treat. Hubba has stopped in there faithfully each week to get himself a pack of Smarties and the customary Tootsie Roll for his mom. (Because: chocolate! That's why.)

A few weeks into this new ritual I asked Hubba why he brought home a Tootsie Roll for me every Sunday. "Because I love you!" he replied in a tone that would suggest I was insane for not already knowing the answer.

Since the day of my accident I have had people bringing things over. Plates piled high with cookies and cinnamon rolls, get well cards and packages in the mail, books to read and other things to keep me occupied. We still had friends and family bringing us meals six weeks after my fall. I'm sure if I were to ask why so many people did these things for my family and I the response would have been the same as Hubba's. Because we love you! What an overwhelming feeling it is to really see and know how very loved you are.

I wish I had a Tootsie Roll for every one of you.

You don't have to ask. You know why. Thank you.

Invisible

pic found here

Last Sunday was the day we took our new little one to church for the first time so that he could be blessed and properly shown off to the members of our congregation. It was also my debut appearance at church since breaking my leg and dislocating my ankle - and I am embarrassed to admit that I was nervous about it. Why? Because I walk funny. I ultimately decided to show up with both crutches rather than let others see my limpy gait.

It really bothers me that this bothers me, but it is what it is. I do not want others to feel sorry for me. I do not want my friends to avert their eyes when they see me coming because they feel uncomfortable or do not know what to say. It seems ridiculous, I know. But these feelings of insecurity started when I went grocery shopping a couple of weeks ago.

Because I am still unable to drive myself anywhere I asked my eldest man-child to chauffeur me that day. We got into the store and I crutched my way over to the motorized shopping carts, knowing this would be the only way I could complete my shopping trip. I could see that Coolister was a little... I'm not sure what. Uncomfortable? Embarrassed? I'm not talking about your typical that-is-not-my-mother look. He generally revels in my zaniness. This was something different. It immediately disheartened me.

Throughout our shopping trip I noticed how people would look away when my eyes met theirs. I tried to remember if it had always been that way before, but no - I distinctly recall making eye contact with strangers and smiling or nodding or saying excuse me when I squeeze my cart past theirs. I'm not saying that I've always recognized each and every person I encounter while grocery shopping but there is usually a general rapport among the shoppers in the aisles. Nothing earth-shattering, just a basic acknowledgment of each other in the frozen foods section. People were not doing this today. Somehow my wheelchair/shopping cart had made me invisible.

It made me wonder if I have acted this same way? When I see someone who is different in some way do I recognize their existence with a nod or a smile? Or do I look away, feigning sudden interest in the price of canned pineapple to hide my discomfort? I don't think I do, but I don't know. I've never really thought about it before.

I think that what I am really trying to say here is that I am not my handicap. I am not Gerb the Gimp. Well, I am, but I am also still me, Gerb, mother and wife, bargain shopper, people watcher, experimental chef and quirky writer, roller skater, book addict, aficionado of baked goods and lover of music and happiness.

And I am not invisible.

Quick Quips

"I'm going to dress up for the science fair because it makes me look more intelligent."

"I wish people would pay me money instead of compliments."

ElemenoB: "I have the car in drive, but it won't go forward."
Me: "You'll have to let off the emergency brake."
ElemenoB: (Lets off the emergency brake.) "It still won't go forward!"
Me: "Well, you're going to have to actually start the car before it will drive anywhere."

Little O burps. "I farted in my mouth!"

Me: "What does apple start with?"
Hubba: "A!"
Me: "What does snake start with?"
Hubba: "S!"
Me: "What does car start with?"
Hubba: "A key!"

"Why does this ball say 'CHINA' on it?"
"P-cuz that is where all balls are made. That's what they do in China."
"So.... China is like Santa's workshop?"
"Yes. The elves live in China."

Feeding The Fam

Not a typical breakfast at our house.

This post is in response to a question from my pal Gina who asked:

Let's revisit how you plan, cook and feed your family. I get so tired of it all. I am not creative enough. I am too behind. Do you meal plan in advance and buy for the upcoming meals? What are some of your favorite dinners? You can give recipes, or just general ideas of what you do.

Meal planning, shopping and cooking is certainly not my favorite of my jobs as a homemaker. However, I have found a way to make it easier - and that is by planning. Every two weeks I come up with a list of 14 dinners. I always ask the kids for their ideas, too. In fact, since my gimpy leg keeps me in bed quite a bit, I just recently started putting my oldest 3 kids in charge of a few meals each - they decide what they want to make and we add it to the list. Then I make a grocery list based on my menu and add the usual needed items for breakfasts and lunches (bread, peanut butter, fruit, lunch meat, syrup, cereal, pancake mix. etc.). I go to the store and buy the things on my list with little variation - I will allow myself to buy something that's a great price on sale or even a treat or two for the family.

Before I start planning my meals I like to look at the store ads that come in the mail so that I can plan most of the meals around what kind of meat and vegetables I can find on sale.

The thing I love about this method is that I have everything I need to make meals for two weeks so I am able to avoid doing little shopping trips at the store in the middle of the week. When I stick to this plan I am able to feed my family on $300 every two weeks (this also includes things like diapers, laundry & dish soap, trash bags, etc.).

Here is a sample of a typical two week dinner menu:

stroganoff w/green beans
pizza w/salad
enchiladas w/corn
baked mac & cheese w/bananas & applesauce
mexican chicken and rice w/broccoli
tortellini soup w/rolls
sloppy joes w/salad
italian chicken and rice w/green beans
tuna casserole w/fruit salad
grilled cheese and tomato soup
taco soup
shepherd's pie w/corn
potato soup w/rolls
chicken pasta salad w/carrots

(If you want any of the recipes, let me know in the comments.)

Our typical lunches include things like PB&J, sandwiches with lunchmeat or tuna, bagel sandwiches, quesadillas and leftovers from dinner. Add some fruit or veggies and a glass of milk or water and there you have it.

Breakfasts can include cooked cereal (oatmeal, germade, breakfast rice, corn mush), cold cereal, granola, pancakes, waffles, dutch babies, eggs & toast, breakfast sandwiches, yogurt, oatmeal cake, breakfast burritos, biscuits and gravy, french toast, muffins or pop tarts.

p.s. I was just kidding about the pop tarts. That is NOT a breakfast food.

p.s.2 This breakfast list makes me sound like Martha Stewart but the truth is that we usually have hot or cold cereal. The other stuff happens occasionally (maybe twice a week) but not as much.

p.s.3 I hate it when I make an awesome breakfast and the oldest two girls only eat a fraction of it because they would rather try on 17 outfits and spend 25 minutes on their hair before school. To retaliate I make oatmeal at least 3 days each week because I know that they prefer cold cereal.

I think that about covers it.

Sunday Letters

The 4 of us with Elder McDaniel in front of the house on Gramercy.

My Dear Aunt Bonnie,

I have been feeling nostalgic lately about my life as a child and many of my greatest memories come from the time we lived in your home with your family. I do not recall exactly how many years we lived there with you but it seems like there were so many memories packed into the short time we shared a home. I am not sure what order these memories actually occurred in, but here they are, nonetheless.

The first thing that comes to mind is your address – ever etched into my memory in a rhyming, sing-songy sort of way: 27-32, Gramercy Avenue.

On our flight from Des Moines to LAX I was filled with anticipation. An anxious, giddy, nervous, excitement for what we would find. I was certain that the airport would be filled with celebrities and that movies would be filmed on the street we would live on. Although neither of these were true, I was not disappointed. I remember that the first thing you asked my mom was how she was feeling and when she signed the word for 'tired' you asked if that meant that her bra straps had broken. I laughed right out loud and knew then that I was going to love being around you – you always made us laugh.

I remember that your house was surrounded by other houses with kids. Across the street there was one house with a tire swing and another with a tree house and next door there was a girl my age whose name was common but spelled in a unique way (was it Aimee?) and she had a playhouse in her backyard. We could walk in one direction and get to a grocery store where candy bars were 5 for $1 but I only ever had enough money to buy a pack of Sixlets for a dime. If we walked another way we could browse the Hello Kitty store where I loved to admire the pencil boxes but could only afford erasers and pencils. I loved that there was a park and our school (Torrance Elementary) within walking distance as well.

So many small recollections come to mind. Jami played us her My Turn On Earth record and Chip and I still have every song from that musical memorized. Dana introduced us to Dr. Demento and we still have a good number of those songs committed to memory as well – including the one she helped Chip and I write about our dog, Tiffany, that we left behind in Iowa when we made the move to California. I will never forget when a man, wanted for robbery or some such thing, had escaped into our neighborhood and was found in the shed in your backyard. I was scared to sleep on the couch by the front window after this happened so Dana and Jami let me sleep on the floor in their room. Once, when our families went to Denny’s for dinner, the waitress accidentally spilled a drink (it was either very hot or very cold) on you (or was it my mom?) and we all ate for free because of it.

I have so many crazy memories of Uncle Dick. Chocolate ice cream will put hair on your chest. Don’t swallow watermelon seeds or you’ll grow a whole one in your stomach. I always believed these things he would tell us. It took a good, long time for me to eat watermelon or chocolate ice cream again. I didn’t care for either one until I was well into my twenties – and chocolate ice cream is still a little iffy. I remember how Chip and I made Indian costumes from paper bags one Thanksgiving and Uncle Dick pretended not to recognize us all day long. We loved that.

Torrance Elementary was, by far, my favorite school of my childhood. I remember singing “Choosing” and “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” at the talent show. We went on field trips to Chinatown, Griffith Park Observatory, Olvera Street, the La Brea Tar Pits and the Queen Mary. I will never forget that my first friend at the school was a boy who tried to stump everyone with story riddles which he would share on the playground. No one ever knew the answers and thought he was quite clever until I came along. I quickly recognized these as mysteries from the Encyclopedia Brown series of books and could answer every one. I think he befriended me so I wouldn’t give away his secret.

I remember the day I was at school and thought I was experiencing my first California earthquake but it turned out I was just very, very sick and was sent to the hospital for quite some time. (My mom still doesn’t recall the exact reason why I was hospitalized, only that it had to do with my white blood cell count. So that is what I remember, too.) When I finally returned home my room was completely dust-free – even my stuffed animals had been washed.

My best memory of all was the day that the missionaries came to your house to find our family. (If I remember correctly, Jami had referred them to us while she was in the MTC.) Chip and I were playing out front and saw them coming to the door, signing to each other. They asked if our parents were home and that was the beginning of our family’s conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We took the missionary discussions in your home and started attending the Deaf ward while living there, too. The missionaries taught us to pray and hold Family Home Evening there in your front room. We were eventually baptized and my life was changed from there. I remember realizing right away, as I came out of the water on my baptism day, that I was the same Gerberta yet also somehow completely different.

I remember returning to Gramercy Avenue as a teenager, wanting to show some friends the place where I first lived when we moved to California, and feeling almost empty when I saw that the house was no longer there but had been replaced by condos or townhouses or some such thing. I felt like something had been taken from me without my permission – but eventually I realized that the memories are what we carry with us. The memories are what matter.

At the time, as a child, I did not give much thought to the sacrifice involved when your family opened up your home for our family to come and live there with you. However, now I understand that it could not have been an easy thing to do. I want you to know how much I appreciate what you did for our family then – taking us in when times were difficult, giving dad a job when he could find none in Iowa. Thank you for loving us and welcoming us and making us feel at home.

Your family and your home will forever remain in my mind as a place filled with happiness and love. I will forever be grateful to you and your family for the years that we shared on Gramercy Avenue.

Much love,

Gerberta

Financially Responsible Kids

photo found here

This post is in response to the following questions I was asked last week:

How have you/do you/will you teach your kids to be financially responsible? (Rebecca)
Do your kids have allowance? How do you teach financial responsibility? (Blogful)

First of all, we don't give our kids an allowance. We believe that, as a part of a family, it is each family member's responsibility to help with housework and chores. If the kids stay on top of their responsibilities and contribute when asked then Allen and I are happy to help them out financially when they have a need. If they want money for something that is simply a want we have them earn the money for that on their own - either by doing extra projects around the house or in working for our neighbors by babysitting or doing yard work.

Financial responsibility is something I think about a lot. We want our kids to understand that debt is never a good thing and that saving is important. I think the best method we've used in teaching our kids financial responsibility is living a financially responsible life. In other words, we hope we are teaching them by example.

For instance, when it comes time for back-to-school shopping the first place we go to look for clothes is second-hand stores. The kids have learned that we can find some great, practically new items at these stores for a small fraction of the price we would pay in regular stores. Our kids actually request shopping at thrift stores now - they see it as a sort of treasure hunt and love showing off their bargain finds.

The kids also see how I do my grocery shopping. I always look through the ads we receive and plan our meals around some of the great deals I will find in them. When they come to the grocery store with me I will ask them to help me find the lowest priced items on the shelves.

We also pay cash for everything. If we can't afford to pay for anything up front, we don't buy it.

I think the best way to sum up what we teach our kids about financial responsibility is to wholeheartedly recommend Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover plan. Allen and I were able to participate in Dave's Financial Peace University through Allen's work and it was amazing.

All in all, I think that the key to having financially responsible kids is teaching them by example.