Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Forget Reality TV - This Is My Life!

Some days, when I need a little bit of extra motivation to get a task done, I pretend I am a cocky contestant on a reality TV show called CLEAN! THAT! HOUSE!

Here's the latest episode...

VIMB*: GERB! We're so excited to have you back here on CLEAN! THAT! HOUSE!

Me: Happy to be here, VIMB.

VIMB: Are you ready for today's challenge?

Me: Bring it on, pal.

VIMB: Today you will be bringing order to the chaos that you call YOUR PANTRY! Let's take a look...

Me: No problem.

VIMB: Oh, but WAIT! You will only have 40 minutes to complete this task before you have to pick your kids up from school.

Me: Psh. I thought this was a challenge.

VIMB: AND! You must complete this task while attending to one crying baby and two rambunctious toddlers!

Me: Child's play, VIMB. I've got this one.

VIMB: We'll see about that! Ready aaaaaaaaaaand... GO!

(40 minutes later we have a full kitchen trash can, a sleeping baby, 2 toddlers enjoying a snack, a load of clean laundry in the dryer and this...)

VIMB: Amazing, Gerb. Simply amazing. How DO you do it?

Me: Determination, VIMB. Pure and simple.

VIMB: Tune in next time when Gerb faces her walk-in closet!

Me: Wait... what did I win?

VIMB: (chuckles) How could I forget? You get to use the bathroom WITHOUT INTERRUPTION for FOUR whole minutes!

Me: This is a reality show, VIMB. Don't toy with me.

VIMB: All right, all right. How about half of a Toblerone all for yourself? You can lock yourself in the closet while Curly and Little O finish their snack.

Me: Done.

*VIMB= Voice In My Brain


Amy said...

Love, LOVE. LOOOOOVE this, Gerb!!! I need a stronger VIMB I think...

Shannon said...

Great job on the pantry - if you need to free up more room, I'd be glad to take that industrial mixer off your hands...I'll even trade you a *whole* Toblerone.

Richard & Natalie said...

I was wondering what VIMB stood for. I loved this! Oh, the games we play to get things done, but they work because your pantry looks great!

Kristin said...

Love it.

Rachel said...

Umm, I was thinking your pantry looked pretty dang good before you attacked it! VIMB is NOT allowed in my house!!! Or my brain... :D

This totally cracked me up. Very impressed Gerb. Very impressed.

Rory, Chocolate Hair/Vanilla Care said...

love this! it's amazing what necessity forces us to accomplish. :-)

Connie said...

You are wonder woman! To make your pantry look so good and take care of a baby and 2 toddlers ALL in 40 minutes is a feat that would terrify a normal person!
Could you send your VIMB over to my brain to kick me in to gear? I need it!