Friday, June 5, 2009
My entire life goes into pause mode without my consent. My mind leaves my body behind and ventures off to some place I am not allowed to remember. And then, abruptly, my life is back in play mode, except that the pictures are jumbled and swirly and I can't remember where I am or why I'm there. Panic sets in. There is not one ounce of thinking involved - it is utter confusion and complete chaos causing my brain's normal functions to short-circuit. It is like being drowned in the deepest abyss and struggling to break the surface... only to realize it is just beyond my reach.
But in an instant things begin to change. I hear a voice calling to me but the words are uncertain. As the jumbled veil of confusion is lifted from my mind, my bewildered eyes slowly begin to focus on an unfamiliar face. I realize I'm on a table, in a doctor's office, with my arms raised at my sides, my hands firmly clenched into fists. My brain is parched.
She's coming back... I hear someone say. And then, It's okay, you're okay. Slowly, I begin to remember...
(Flash back to 10 minutes earlier...)
I came to the dermatologist for the first time in my life. I had a suspicious, teeny little mole plant itself ON my upper lip (not above my lip, I'm talking ON my kisser) and came in to have it checked. The doctor surprised me by preparing me for removal of this lip-invader right then and there, along with another spot that he noticed on the right side of my chest.
The needles came out (oh, how I hate needles!!), I was sufficiently numbed, and the removal was successful. Throughout the process I could not help over-thinking things. He is putting that needle in my lip... and now in my chest. The doctor is whittling off a piece of my lip with a knife! And now he is carving a crater out of my chest! The doctor announced his successful completion of the procedure. I was thinking too much. I was feeling woozy.
"You look pale," the Man Who Just Cut Out Two Hunks Of Flesh Out Of My Body said. "Do you feel all right?"
"Just a little nauseous," I assured him. "I'll be fine." He gave me some instructions and left the room.
I continued to lay there. The nurse asked me, "Are you sure you're okay? You look really pale."
"I think I'm going to...." And then I did.
And once I came back to reality, the nurse complimented me on the powerful punch I had packed in my right arm. Apparently, when I was swimming out of the abyss, I landed a solid blow to her shoulder.
If it had been the doctor, I wouldn't have felt so bad. Because I kind of think he had it coming.