Friday, July 11, 2008

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

We're through.

I have finally been able to see you for what you really are and I've come to this conclusion: We're not good for each other.

The only reason I've kept you around for so long was for sentimental reasons. We've had some great times together, and you've been there for me through some of my worst times, too.

But enough is enough.

Don't try to change my mind - I'm moving on to bigger and better donuts, and you can't stop me.

I'm only going to say this once and then it's over... you make my teeth feel like they are wearing a sweater. I'm sorry, but it's true.

So long, waxy friend.

Thanks for the memories.

13 comments:

Cami said...

I hate it when my teeth feel like they are wearing sweaters!

"Brush your teeth each morning, brush them every night, brush them after eating. Keep them clean and white!"

Holmes said...

I just went and picked up my free slurpee -- 7.11 ounces -- the perfect size.

I never have been a fan of the chocolate wax donuts, but I do love the powdered sugar donuts. I just have to remember not to inhale when taking a bite!

Rebecca said...

You'll be back together someday, I'm sure of it. You might not be as close as you once were, but can't you "just be friends?"

Teachinfourth said...

I know it might be too soon, however, the maple bars at Target are my best friends right now. I'd be happy to share the friendship.

Pam said...

True, true...I don't even want to know what kind of hydrogenated glop they put in the chocolate coating. But they are SO good! A rare treat around our house--I'll take up the slack for you.

Mom not Mum said...

mmmmmm now I want mini donut gems. Come on, have one with me.

Elle said...

You can say what you want but I know you'll be hiding in the pantry while no one's looking soon enough. Your teeth will survive.

Gerb said...

Cami-
Good advice! I'll have to memorize that one.

Holmes-
The powdered sugar ones leave too much evidence - I could never eat those without being caught. But they are mighty tasty!

Rebecca-
We're through. Really. If I'm going to have empty calories, they're going to be used for much more worthwhile junk food!

tchn5th-
Have you tried the maple bars at our city bakery? Much closer than Target and very tasty. But you're so kind to be willing to share.

Pam-
I knew you were my favorite cousin for a reason...

Mom (not mum)-
Tell you what - if we ever meet, face to face, I'll enjoy a hostess gem with you. Deal?

Elle-
Who are you? And how do you pronounce your name? Is it (cue music) L, L, like the letter L?

annette said...

Soooo, what "bigger and better donuts" are you moving on to?

Gina said...

You can't be serious. That is too much. If you do something as sensible as that, I may too have to give up something and I am just not ready. Don't do it!!!!!

Elle said...

Gerb-

I'm a single woman living in Australia. One of my friends told me about your blog and I decided to investigate.
As for my name, it is pronounced ee-lee.
You sound like an awesome mother with awesome kids. I especially like that Elemenob.

Gerb said...

Annette-
I have come to the conclusion that any donut is bigger and better than the ones I have eaten for so long. I'm partial to ├ęclairs, boston creams and what my family used to call "long johns", but I really haven't ever met a bakery-fresh donut that I didn't like.

Gina-
I am a goal-minded woman. When I set my mind to something, that's it. Now, if someone offers me one at a picnic or whatever, I will not turn them down. I wouldn't want to be rude.

Ee-lee-
Wow, Australia! Funny, elemenoB has always wanted to go there and so have I. What an amazing coincidence!

Farscaper said...

Should I be mean and bring a box of these to the 24th BBQ? That's a cheap and easy "side dish". Wow, thanks for the idea. ;-P