Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Wooba Wooba

I have had so many thoughts racing through my brain today. Most were not blog-worthy. So, despite the fact that I wanted to write a blog post about my goals for the coming year or maybe even a recap of 2008, you get to hear the story of the demon of my childhood - the Wooba Wooba Monster.

The kids and I were talking about things that scare us. For All-a-Boy, it was the Zorgons in the movie Zathura. For Hubba it's flickering lights - he is positive "they are gonna blow!" For Coolister, ElemenoB and Thumbelina it was playing Uncle Chip's version of hide-and-seek called hide-and-scare. And that reminded me of the Wooba Wooba monster.

My oldest brother, Toby, was watching Sesame Street with Chip and I one day. For some reason we noticed a particularly freaky monster at the 'Monster Disco' that day - one with angry black eyebrows and fangs. Toby, being the oldest brother, saw the fear in our eyes and decided to mess with us a bit. Another monster said the words "Wooba, wooba..." at some point, which prompted the name of this furry green demon who would lurk beneath our beds and in our closets for what seemed an eternity.

I must admit, I had it easy. Before we climbed the stairs to bed Toby would simply say, "Gerb- look out for the Wooba Wooba monster. He's under your bed." Or, "Cover your ears tonight - the Wooba Wooba monster might call for you." Poor Chip shared a room with Toby and had to listen to the monster until he was finally able to fall asleep.

The monster knew only one word. Wooba.

Toby would lay in his bed and quietly start with a long, drawn out "Wooooooooba..." and then he would ask Chip, "Did you hear that? He's here!"

Toby is a good guy. (Now.) But I will be honest and say that I am a 36 year old woman who is still afraid of the dark because of that blasted monster. And here's why...

I had finally had enough. I knew the monster wasn't real and I wasn't going to let Toby scare me anymore! I was tired of checking under my bed and in my closet. He was never there! As I confidently walked to my bed, sitting on the edge to remove my socks and crawl in, two hands came from beneath my bed and GRABBED! my ankles, shaking them, crying "WOOBA WOOBA WOOBA!!" I screamed! I probably fainted! Toby crawled out from beneath my bed, laughing.

The Wooba Wooba Monster stopped coming after it scared Chip so badly that he grabbed some scissors and stabbed it through the hand. Funny what a trip to the E.R. can do to a person's desire to scare little kids.

Wait...

Why the heck am I writing this story for my blog?!

I have no idea. But there it is.

So, um... Happy New Year! And may your 2009 be Wooba Wooba free.

9 comments:

Gina said...

What is New Year's without a Gerb childhood story. I love that. Nothing better than grabbed ankles and scissors through the hand. What is that? "WOOOOOOOBA!"

On a different note: Did you get 41 segments this month? What the crazy is that? Gotta love the extra money though.

Gerb said...

Gina- my segments = 38. Was I working on them last night still? Um, just call me slacker. But the extra cash is nice!

Rebecca said...

I don't remember the green Wooba monster, but Sesame Street episodes with those "Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip" twin aliens (you know the ones?) always had me running behind the chair and closing my eyes. What's with the scary characters, PBS?!

Mom of Three said...

I never took Chip for the violent type!! Can't say I blame him though!

Holmes said...

I love your childhood stories...especially because I remember you back then. Off the subject, but what are segments? You and Gina mentioned them. Just curious...or nosey--whatever you want to call it.

Teachinfourth said...

I'm still laughing that this one! And to think, I was only afraid of the Incredible Melting Man when I was a kid.

I totally blame my parents for this one...

pam said...

I'm with Holmes. Segments? Extra money? Tell me more!

P.S. Good for Chip! The talking trees in Babes In Toyland always scared the socks off of me.

Gerb said...

Rebecca- His real name is Harry Monster (not to be confused with Herry Monster, the blue one, also on Sesame Street) I never saw him except on that one episode of Monster Disco - and I have never forgotten.

The Yip Yip Monsters are actually some of my favorite because Chip and I could impersonate them pretty well. But I do wonder about Sesame Street characters sometimes. Remember the Owl guy who plays the sax? He's creepy, too.

Mom of 3- Chip is NOT the violent type - but when his life is in danger, (as he would say...) 'You mess with the bull, you get the horns.' If you know Chip you know that he was seriously scared to stash some scissors for protection.

Holmes- Segments? I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Suffice it to say, you are asked to do them and it's more of a out-of-the-goodness-of-my-heart type of thing because yes, you get paid, but the segments can be torture.

Tchn5th- The incredible thing is that that man is probably still melting somewhere...

Pam- Ditto on what I said to Holmes. I bet you're still curious, though!

Maleen said...

He seriously stabbed it? That is hilarious.

Oh, and I think those monster/aliens in Zathura are scary too. But my personal nemesis was the Blob. Don't ask me why my Dad showed me that movie when I was 4.