Dislike

image from techdigest.tv

There are many things I am not a fan of. I usually keep these things to myself because I am a pleaser kind of person and I just want everyone to get along and be happy. Today, though, I'm going to break out of my box and share a few of these things with you.

These are a few of my NOT favorite things...


Driving in snow.

The first frost of the season.

Mean people.

Leggings instead of nylons at church. (we can still be friends, though)

Snow skiing.

People who let their dogs poop in my yard.

Paying bills.

Not being able to find any maternity dresses that go past my knees.

Bullies.

The cashiers at our local Smith's grocery store.

Getting holes in my socks.

Feeling jealous or angry.

Arguments.

Kids who answer the door when I'm in the shower.

Sadness.

Disrespect.

Boogers.



I had better stop there.

If you want to read all about one other thing that I really, really dislike you can click on over to Four Perspectives today.

Mystery Man

I found this drawing in Princess' room and I can't quite decide who it is. I've narrowed it down to:

A) Barack Obama
B) Martin Luther King
or
C) Will Smith

What's your vote?

Lucky Day

image from rice.edu

The spam folder for my Gmail account seems to accumulate quite a few letters from foreigners who really want to share millions of dollars with me. I generally delete these correspondences, but today's email was different. Why? It came from the FBI!

Rather than try to summarize I'll let you see for yourself how easily I'm going to become a multi-millionaire.

I present to you the very official sounding email I received this morning... along with a bit of commentary from me.


<<
OFFICIAL LETTER FROM FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI
ROBERT MUELLER III EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI FEDERAL BUREAU OF
INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.
(I'm not sure they included enough references to FBI in this opening.)

Email: federalbureauinvestigationsXXXX@hotmail.com (right...because all FBI agents use hotmail accounts.)
FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET

ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY (very personalized!)

FROM: ROBERT MUELLER III EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI FEDERAL

BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION WASHINGTON DC. FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP
INTERNET (pretty sure they already mentioned this)

The federal bureau of investigation (FBI). (I SO appreciate the clarification.)

Through our intelligence-monitoring network has discovered that the transaction that the bank contacted you previously was legal. Recently the fund has been legally approved to be paid
via Central Bank of Ghana. (Huh? Was that in English?)

So, we, the federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington Dc, in conjunction with the United Nations (UN) financial department have investigated through our monitoring network noting that your transaction with the Central Bank of Nigeria legal. You have the legitimate right to
complete your transaction to claim your fund US$15.5,000,000.00 (Fifteen million five Hundred Thousand united states dollars) (again, the clarifications provided here are so helpful - especially amongst the abundant grammatical errors.)

Because of so much scam going on in Ghana. (Riiiiight. No scams going on here in my spam folder, though.)

We the federal bureau of investigation decided to contact the FedEx Courier Service Company in Ghana for them to give us their procedures on how to sent this money to you without any further complain or delay. (How thoughtful!) We just got an information from the Central Bank of Ghana and they have loaded your US$15.5,000,000.00 in ATM CARD and submit to the FedEx courier service company for immediate delivery to your doorstep. (Well. I just got an information from my common sense and it says 'are you kidding me?')

You are required to choose one option, which you will be able to pay and also convenient for you, for quick delivery of your parcel containing your ATM CARD and other two original back up documents. (Again, I am loving the wording here. Someone at the FBI needs to take an English refresher course.)

Service Type | Delivery Duration | Charges/Fees

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------
Premium Express (24hrs Delivery)
Mailing $200.00 00.00
Insurance $150.00 00.00
Vat $100.00 00.00
TOTAL $450.00
$450(Four Hundred and fifty US Dollars Only).

.............................. ..............................
Special Express (2 Days)
Mailing $180.00 00.00
Insurance $50.00 00.00
Vat $150.00 00.00
TOTAL $380.00 00.00
$380(Three Hundred and Eighty US Dollars Only).

.............................. ...............................
Economy Express (3Days)
Mailing $100.00 00.00
Insurance$?150.00 00.00
Vat (5%) $50.00 00.00
TOTAL $300.00 00.00
$300(Three Hundred US Dollars Only).
.............................. ..............................

(I love that they give me so many reasonably priced options to have my millions delivered to me. Thank you, federal bureau investigations (FBI) for the convenient for me!)

You are hereby required to advice us, on your parcel delivery option by filling in the required form stated above. Please note that the deadline for claiming your fund is exactly one week after the receipt of this email. After this period, your fund will be return back to the ordering costumer. That is the instruction given to us. So take note. (Note taken, thank you.)

We request that you reconfirm your mailing address to ensure conformity with our record for immediate dispatch of your parcel to you. Only valid residential/ Office address and postal address are certified OK. (Riiiiiiiiight.)

DELIVERY DESTINATION INFORMATION:
Delivery Terms: .............. .......International Delivery
Condition Of Delivery..............Priority Delivery
Consignment Note No: ........... MI 49866-2110
Color of Parcel: ..................... Brown. (definitely useful information)
Total Weight: ..........................36.2 kg
Total Net Weight: ...................1.7 kg

We are here to protect you from any problem till you receive your package. (And then what?)

Looking forward to hear from you as soon as you receive this message.

Best Regards,

THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

MANAGEMENT. (Huh? What happened to ROBERT MUELLER III EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC. ?)

>>

SO?? What do you think? Should I go for it?

Okay. I'll tell you what. If you leave me a comment I'll send you $500,000,000 (Half A Million U.S. Dollars). I'm no hoarder. Just choose one of the delivery options above.

THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

Picture Day

It's picture day at the elementary school today.

I used to dread this day... having to wake up early enough to get the girls' hair just so, making sure that everyone's clothes were acceptable and their milk-mustaches from breakfast were washed away.

Well, we stopped ordering school pictures a few years back so now I allow the kids a bit of creative license. Two of the elementary schoolers are sickies today, but here's what the other two came up with...
Now? I LOVE picture day.

I just hope their teachers have a good sense of humor.

Clouds

It is my day to post over at Four Perspectives. Come see what I have learned about my lifelong love affair with clouds.


ALSO! Please keep reading...

I wanted to tell you about an auction that you really should check out. Not only are there some great items up for bid (Christmas is coming!), but it's for a wonderful cause as well.

You can read more about the auction here at Tiburon's famous Shark Bait blog or just head straight over to it here. I promise it will be worth your time and money!

Do me a favor and go check it out.

In The Clouds

I have had a lifelong love of gazing at clouds, watching as they drift lazily past then gather in beautiful formations or discovering shapes and stories in their changing forms.

This began as a young child in Clinton, Iowa where I learned to watch for the fast-moving, greenish-gray clouds which usually foreshadowed a city-wide tornado warning. This fascination continued as my family moved to southern California and my younger brother and I would climb onto the roof of our apartment building to watch the bright golden-red sunsets behind the cotton ball clouds which hovered over the ocean. After moving to Utah and falling in love with the mountains I have observed the clouds that tend to linger at the tops of the majestic peaks.

Simply put, I love clouds.

I have realized over years worth of observation and fascination that the clouds could be considered something of a metaphor for my life.

Sometimes I feel as though I am stretched much too thin, like cotton batting clouds, pulled so tightly in so many directions that holes begin to show through.

Other days, like the clouds I see so often clinging to the tops of mountains, I just need something to hold on to, whether it be my family, my faith, my memories or any other thing that can sustain me until I am ready to stand on my own again.

Some of my best days are the ones where I am like the clouds which are filled with light. I feel ready to conquer the world - or at least the various tasks associated with being a wife and mother and human being - with a bright and happy countenance, filled with hope and possibility.

There are also times when I feel like a storm cloud, dark and angry and ready to burst. I reach a point where I am filled to capacity... and then, when I can no longer carry the burden or hold another drop of emotion, the tears fall like rain until I am empty.

It seems that as I have passed through each learning phase of my life, I have been like a cloud formation - changing slowly, almost imperceptibly, into different shapes and forms depending on which way the wind was blowing. It often happens so slowly that before you know it I have become a person who is completely different than I was to begin with.

However, no matter the state I'm in, there is usually a silver lining if I'm just willing to find it.

And just as I am mesmerized by watching the clouds and the way they change and morph depending on the atmosphere around them, I enjoy watching people as they do the same. No two are alike - each is unique in its color and form and structure, and that is what makes each one fascinating.

Quick Quips

From the mouths of my kids...

"Mom, do we need to get gas?"
"Nope. We've got a full tank."
"We don't have a tank! We have a car!"

"Last night I had a rilly, rilly bad dream and dragons chaseded me but I hided where they can't find me. It's true - I can not just make this stuff up!"

"Mom, are you gonna die after the baby is borned?"
"No. Why would you ask something like that?"
"Well, in Star Wars, Queen Amadala gets her baby borned and then she dies."
"Pretty much everything that happens in Star Wars would never happen in real life, honey."
"Yeah. (sigh) That's why we never get to see Chewbacca or Yoda anywhere."

"The forehead of my belly hurts."

"Is that really grandpa? 'Cause he kinda looks like WalMart."

"Where are you going, Mom?"
"To watch General Conference."
"Is that like General Grievous?"
"Not even close."



For you who are unfamiliar, this is what General Conference looks like:
and this is what General Grievous looks like:
VERY different.

And yes, I am aware that my 4-year-old daughter has a freakishly accurate fascination AND knowledge of everything that has to do with Star Wars. I think it's kind of cute.

Saving My Breath

If this shirt was for sale, I would buy it and maybe even wear it every day that I venture out to a public place.

Costume Hunting

Have you even started to think about Halloween yet? We certainly have around here. There are all sorts of plans in the works - so I've been trying to get a jump start on the kids' costumes.

Do you search all over until you find exactly the right costume, maybe even make it yourself - or do you figure something out at the last minute?

Here's what we did yesterday. I wrote about it at Four Perspectives.

The Great Costume Hunt

photo found at comicsninja.com

Halloween costumes have been a recent hot topic at our house in the 5-and-under crowd. My 3-year-old's little witch costume was easily acquired, but my 5-year-old, Hubba, has consistently insisted on being Boba Fett from Star Wars "because he has a jet pack and carries two guns." For two weeks I have searched various stores and internet sites in the hope of finding a child-sized Boba Fett costume at a reasonable cost - to no avail.

Yesterday I discovered that a local "Bullseye" store (as Hubba tends to call it) carried the child-sized costumes. I loaded up a few of the crew and off we went to make all of Hubba's Halloween dreams come true.

They were out of his size.

"Hubba," I told him, "these are all too big. What should we do?"

Without blinking an eye he said, "Oh, well. I guess I'll be Darth Vader."

Not a minute later he had changed it to a pirate, then a skeleton, then a firefighter, based on what costume happened to come into his line of vision.

Frustrated by his fickle ways, I stated that he might as well just wear the same firefighter costume that I made for him last year.

"Okay." He answered. "Let's go, then."

I was shocked by his indifference. So much time would have been saved if we had just reached this conclusion to start with! However, I quickly realized that the fault was mine. Despite the fact that I have fond memories of wearing the same cheap, plastic WitchiePoo costume over and over for years as a child, it never even crossed my mind to have Hubba wear a repeat costume from the previous year. Why?

I think that, as adults, we tend to make things much bigger than they are in a child's mind. He wants to be Boba Fett? Well, then - I will search to all ends of the earth until his request is granted! And then when I find the costume in a crumpled heap in the back of his closet a couple of days later, why am I surprised? He is five years old. He is living in the moment.

I wonder sometimes if it is easier to make children happy than we think. I wonder if we, the adults, are the ones who are guilty of over-stimulating their brains with our own ideas of what they should want. (Don't even get me started on Christmas.)

We got home, dug out the old costume, and Hubba is perfectly content to be a firefighter again. Lesson learned.

Granted, I did hear him ask his older brother if firefighters ever wear jetpacks or carry guns. So maybe he'll be a gun-wielding fireman.

I'm okay with that.

My Little O

Despite the fact that I have learned that words can simply not capture the personalities, creativity, awesomeness and quirks of my family I have decided to write a series of posts - one for each of my nine kids - to help me remember the stages of life they are in right now. I realize that this is more for me than anyone who is reading my blog, but it just has to be done. End of story. They will not necessarily be written in any order or sequence - in fact, these posts will likely be interspersed between my regular blog posts as I feel the need/desire to write. Thanks for indulging me.

Little O is at such a precious age right now. He has his "Terrible Two" moments, but for the most part he's just a sweet little bundle of happiness on fast-moving legs.

Life with him is like living in a comic strip. Sometimes he's Linus (only with much better hair) with his favorite blanket and his thumb in his mouth...
and sometimes he's Calvin, running around naked or bringing unexpected chaos to our day...
but he always keeps us laughing and on our toes.

The minute anyone from our family walks into the front door Little O yells their name and comes running to attack them with a fierce hug around the legs. He has his own version of each person's name but for some reason Thumbelina and ElemenoB share Thumbelina's name. This drives ElemenoB crazy but even she can't help but smile because he's so dang cute about it.
His vocabulary is still limited, but he knows how to get his point across. All drinks are molk and all fruit are ap-oles. If he can't get you to understand what he wants then he is perfectly happy to take you by the hand and drag you to the fridge then point and repeat what sounds to us like nonsense words (which I'm sure make perfect sense in his 2-year-old brain) until he gets what he needs.

Little O can not be bothered with schedules. He falls asleep whenever and wherever he wants.
It will often get to be one of those times where the house is too quiet and I'm worried that he's gotten outside somehow so I check the door - still locked - then start a search of the house, only to find him curled up in his bed for a self-imposed nap.

Little O is already quite the movie aficionado. He requests his movie time with a simple word, "Watch?" His preferences are Tarzan, Aristocats and even (thanks to Thumbelina) Barbie movies, but Veggie Tales are by far his all-time favorites and he can sing and mimic the actions of the entire opening theme song.

When he is in need of a diaper change he will often walk towards me, backwards, then point to the back of his pants and say, "Sick." Every mess is called a "Spill" whether it be a liquid or toys or books.

If someone is upset or hurt Little O is quick to comfort. He will come and ask, " 'kay?" then crawl into their lap and give them a hug. He is almost always happy when he wakes up in the morning and instantly asks for "Eat?"
He loves his shoes and socks because they usually mean he gets to go play in the backyard or get in the car and drive somewhere.

I love his golden curls and buck-toothy grin. I love watching him run with those squatty little chubby legs or throw a ball with amazing force for someone his age and size. His laugh is contagious and his eyes are full of expression. Some days I wish I could know what thoughts are going through his head. I wonder if he is ever frustrated by his inability to communicate what he is thinking.
I wish I were a more capable photographer because I would love to capture more of his personality on camera so that I could look back at each stage of his development and just bask in the awesomeness of it all.

If I had to use only one word to describe O, it would simply be happiness because that is what he exudes and creates all around him almost constantly.

I can't wait to see what else he's got in store for us over the years.

Change = Not Easy

(Eleven of my 14 favorite little friends)

Yesterday was a toughie.

My 'job' at church was changed - I will now be the secretary for the Primary (kids aged 18 months-11 years old). I'm sure I will eventually enjoy these new responsibilities, but man oh man is it tough to let go of my little class.

Yesterday was my last week as teacher to my little 5-6 year-olds. I hated having to tell them this news, although it was likely harder for me than it was for them. Kids are pretty resilient, really. Besides the emotional breakdown that Hubba had when I made my announcement, they all took it fairly well.

I went all out for my last hoo-rah, making sure that every child's favorite things to do were included in the lesson. We colored. We taped. We told stories and used visual aids and finger puppets. Each child was spotlighted for their amazing talents, which were printed on a bookmark. I played my accordion for them, which was accompanied by a little impromptu dancing. I even passed out take-home treats at the end.

For the first time, ever, I don't think anyone asked to go to the bathroom. Miracles happen.

As each of them left they gave me the customary high five or hug. Almost every one told me they were going to miss me, which was making me a little teary - until it came to Super C. He gave me a hug and then said, "Don't wuh-wee, Sisto Bwack. We will get an awesome new tee-cho and then we won't hawdly miss you at all!"

The problem is, I am selfish. And Super C's words are exactly what I am worried will happen. My church class is like my little Sunday family! I want invitations to their future art shows and sporting events and wedding receptions. I feel like I'm putting my Sunday kids up for adoption and just hoping for the best when it comes to a new parent. Will he/she remember their birthdays and notice when they aren't there? Will he/she appreciate how creative and witty and clever they are? Will he/she make an effort to contact the two kids who only make it to class on occasion? Most importantly, will the new teacher love them like I do? (Impossible!)

I'm sure things will all work out. I know that early next year, when I'm carrying a carseat around with me again, it will be much easier to fulfill my secretarial duties than to wrangle a precocious class full of young'uns.

But still...

I'm just going to miss it, that's all.

The Latest

I have not written a whole lot about my pregnancy this time around...

Well, today you get the whole kit and kaboodle (whatever that means) at Four Perspectives.

Still Glowing

I am trying really hard not to write every post during the time I am pregnant about being pregnant. However, today I am cutting myself some sleep-deprived slack.

The above comic pretty much sums up my day yesterday.

I am not used to having any sort of difficulty beyond restless legs during pregnancy so all of my latest developments are new experiences for me.

I couldn't sleep or breathe until almost 6:00 this morning thanks to my newest pregnancy-induced malady: allergies. I did not want to call my doctor at 1:00 am to ask which allergy medications were permissible to take during pregnancy (I was worried it would come across something like: "Hey, Doc. Did I wake you up? Well, it's for good reason! I have a stuffy nose.") even if I have likely funded the purchase of his home, car, boat, season passes to ski resorts and sporting events and trips around the world with all of my pregnancies combined. I talked to a nurse this morning who told me to try some Claritin or Benadryl. Let's keep our collective fingers crossed that it works. The good news is this: it is likely that the allergies will clear up after delivery. 6 months down, 4 months to go. (Because did you know that women are actually pregnant for 10 months? It's true.)

Another new thing for me this time around is a sore coccyx - which is just a fancy way to say that my tailbone hurts. All the time. It just started last weekend, but it is constant. When I walk, when I sit, when I bend down or vacuum or go grocery shopping my tailbone aches. I don't get it. The (sarcastic) best part is this: there is nothing to do about it except to carry around a donut-shaped pillow to sit on. As much as I'm sure this would be helpful, the embarrassment of carrying a pillow around with me everywhere outweighs the mild pain. I'm living with it and I'm okay with that. The (for real) best part is this: it should go away after delivery.

As I mentioned already, my repeat offender during the last few pregnancies has been RLS, better known as Restless Legs Syndrome. In the past it has been kind enough to leave me alone until I am about 7 months along. This time it decided to show up at 5 months but I have enough experience with the beast to know how to control it. Except now there is this little tidbit - allergy medications tend to make the symptoms of RLS worse. How awesome is that?! I can't wait to see how things go tonight. The good news, though? (Wait for it.....) RLS disappears after the baby is delivered.

Yes, there are many reasons why I will be excited to get this newest little one into my arms - but despite the blows that this pregnancy has delivered the best part will be the official face to face meeting of this life I carry inside of me. I can not wait to be rid of these pregnancy-induced inconveniences but it is all so very worth it to be able to welcome a new tiny person into our family.

I can not wait to fall in love all over again.