Thursday, January 12, 2012

On The Phone

photo here

The following phone conversation really occurred. I have changed the name of the caller to protect his identity.

Me: Hello?

Coal S. Mountain: Hey, Sister B., this is Coal S. Mountain. How are you?

Me: I'm good. How about you?

CSM: I'm good. (nervous laughter) So, I wanted to ask your permission to take your daughter on a date this Thursday, January twelfth at around 6:30 in the evening or so.

Me: Well, I appreciate you asking but I guess it depends on what are you going to be doing for this date?

CSM: Oh. Well, (nervous laughter) we will actually be going to be a part of a protest.

Me: You want to take ElemenoB to a protest? That sounds like a pretty exciting date.

CSM: (nervous laughter) Yes, it probably will be.

Me: Can you tell me more about this? Like, what will you be protesting?

CSM: It's a protest on the government. They want to move part of the river and that means people can't do any more fishing in some places... and other stuff. And they're taking away some business, too. It's just a bad idea. (nervous laughter) Yeah.

Me: So, I assume there will be more protesters there besides you and ElemenoB?

CSM: Yeah. For sure. Unless someone's playing a really good joke on us. But yes, I believe there will be other people. Lots of other people there.

Me: And what is the likelihood that you'll be hauled off to jail because of this protest?

CSM: Oh, no, I'm pretty sure no one's going to jail. But if she does get put in jail, let me just say I apologize in advance.

Me: Actually, the proper thing to say would be, "If ElemenoB is put in jail, I will foot her bail and remain her friend for life to offset the stigma that a jail record can carry, such as not being accepted to colleges or getting gainful employment."

CSM: Oh, yeah - of course. I will totally bail her out of jail and be her friend.

Me: Well, when you put it all that way, how can I say no?

CSM: You really can't.

Me: I'll tell you what. That would probably be okay unless I look at our calendar and see something else is happening that night. Or if I think it over and something doesn't seem right, I'll let you know.

CSM: If you could call and let me know as soon as possible, that would be great.

Me: Sounds good. Will do. Thanks for the call, Coal S. Mountain.

CSM: Yeah, you have a good day, Sister B.

Me: You, too, Coal.

14 comments:

Rebecca said...

Do young men always call and ask your permission to take your daughter on a "date"? I'm not sure I would have been prepared for a call like that.

diane rene said...

I LOVE IT!

Gerb said...

Bec- You have to know 'Coal'. He is hilarious. I was not surprised at all when he called me, actually.

Diane- Me, too! I was trying not to crack up during the call.

Just SO said...

That is fabulous! And I hope that protest works. I think the idea of shutting off that part of the Provo river is not a good idea. But I can't go to the protest.

La Yen said...

I love this on about ten different levels.

ablackman said...

Great alias for the kid! You think if I told a story about Flaberta D. Quack, you wouldn't even know I was talking about you?

cari said...

Oh, that "Coal"! I am so glad you shared this. :)


And for the record..."Scary P. Mountain" thinks he owes Elemeno B. a REAL date.

Anaise said...

I wonder if I'll ever get a call like that for one of my daughters!

He sound like a great kid! (No one is in jail this morning--right?)

Gerb said...

Anaise- No jailbirds. :)

Scary- Flaberta D. Quack agrees.

Rachel said...

That is hilarious! Yeah, I'll bail her out and be her friend for life...... :D

I had my swim lesson.... otherwise we would have gone and chaperoned. :D

Richard & Natalie said...

That is funny!
I was there and didn't see them...
Hmmmm. You may want to re-check their stories. You may have been duped. That or since it was really cold and everyone was bundled up like Eskimos, I didn't recognize her. I think you were duped. ;)

Gerb said...

Natalie- They decided not to go at the last minute 'because it would be awkward for our parents to drive us'. (Her 6 months of driving only family was up today and they thought I'd let it slide one day and let her drive yesterday. No dice.)

Sarah said...

I loved this, and LOVE the fact that he called you to ask to go to a protest. It's a classic!!
I remember when a boy called and asked my folks if I could go with him to TP another boys house and they said yes just because he called and ASKED!

Chelle! said...

I think this is awesome that he would call and ask your permission.