Friday, January 20, 2012

Haunted House

photo here

A couple of my kids have decided to tell all of the other kids that there are ghosts in our house. These ghosts apparently live in the basement and the upstairs bathroom. I have personally never seen or heard any of these ghosts and the kids spreading these ridiculous tales haven't either. But they've heard them. And they've just known the ghosts are there sometimes.

This has resulted in every kid under the age of 12 being scared to go down to the basement (where their bedrooms are, for crying out loud!) or into the bathroom unless someone is with them. Because somehow, the ghosts will not devour frightened children who travel in pairs. It is getting to the point where I am beyond frustration in dealing with this. I have tried reasoning with them, using solid arguments such as the following:

Kids: Baby X, you want to come down to the basement with me?

Me: WHAT?! He doesn't want to go down to the basement with you. Just go down there yourself! You're FINE!

Kids: I'm not going down there alone.

Me: And how is Baby X going to help you? Is he going to fight off these imaginary ghosts? Are you going to hold him in front of you so he'll be attacked first? This is ridiculous! THERE ARE NO GHOSTS DOWN THERE.

Kids: There are.

Me: Has anything happened to anyone who has been in the basement alone in the 15 years we've lived in this house? EVER? No! So, what are you scared of?

Kids: The ghost.

Me: WHAT GHOST?! There is NO ghost!

Kids: Cowgirl heard it once.

Me: No she didn't! She heard the water going through the pipes or someone walking on the floorboards upstairs or the wind outside. There are no ghosts! Ghosts don't exist! The only thing in the basement is your bedrooms, a bathroom and the washer and dryer!

Kids: Ghosts like to hide.

Me: There are NO ghosts hiding in our basement. What do you think these imaginary ghosts are going to do to you?

Kid 1: Scare us.
Kid 2: Or eat us.
Kid 3: Or get inside our bodies.

Me: WHAT are you even talking about?!

Kids: That's what ghosts do.

Me: Maybe it's a ghost like Casper. Maybe it's a friendly ghost!

Kids: HA! So you ADMIT there's a ghost!

Me: No! There's not... I meant... Oh, forget it.

And then there's the issue of using the upstairs bathroom. Little O was all potty trained and never had any accidents. Until Princess decided to freak out one day and tell all the kids that there is now a ghost in the upstairs bathroom. The result? NO ONE WILL GO IN THERE WITHOUT A COMPANION. In the bathroom. Come on! Yesterday I made it a point to not let anyone accompany anyone else into the bathroom. I wanted them to see that they could use the toilet without company and return to the rest of the family, unscathed, and without any ghost sightings.

Here's how that went.

Little O: I gotta go to the baftroom lilly, lilly bad!!

Me: GO! GO! You know how! Get in there!

Little O: I too scared! You come wif me!

Me: You can do it, Little O! You're a big boy!

Little O: (doing The Dance) I GOTTA GO LILLY, LILLY BAD!

Me: HURRY! GO!

Little O: PRINCESS! COME WIF ME!

Me: He can go himself, Princess. Let him go himself.

Princess: But the ghost!

Me: PRINCESS! There is NO GHOST.

Little O: I too SCARED! (Looks down) Uh-oh...

After 3 changes of clothes, I had had enough. I let him have a bathroom buddy and pretended not to notice.

All I can do is hope this is a phase they are going to grow out of. Either that or I'm going to be stuck in a haunted house for as long as I still have kids at home. And friends, that's a mighty long time.

12 comments:

Sherry Bronson said...

Since you already "caved" once, and agreed there could be a ghost, albeit a friendly one...give your kids a spray bottle filled with water, to be used as "Ghost Repellant". You might have to dry water up from a few walls...but that is better that changing clothes and having accidents. Good Luck! I love your blog!

Larry said...

You should tell them that letting their minds dwell on such thoughts can open a window for Satan. I know they are just kids and that their thoughts are nothing severe, but maybe giving them a reason to be scared of making such things up will convince them to stop. When I was growing up and was first introduced to ghost stories, I remember being frightened. I went to my mom to ask her if such things were possible. It just so happens that the story that was really bothering me can happen. I will never forget when I asked her about it she said " Nancy, I don't like to talk about such things. They drive the spirit away and invite Satan into our home." Maybe it will help them realize that it is wrong.

Anonymous said...

If this is a pic of your house no wonder its haunted! I can't believe you would doubt it. And why would you buy it in the first place?? Geez. Lol ;)

Rachel said...

So? Who ya gonna call?

Anaise said...

My kids don't like to go downstairs alone (family room, laundry room, my mom's room, bathroom down there) because of the VeggieTales movie about Queen Esther. In that one the bad people are banished to the Island of Perpetual Tickling. Now my kids are sure that there is a "Tickling" down there just waiting to torture them forever.

It makes me nuts. It makes me laugh.

We're in the same boat--you and me.

TrueBliss said...

Oh my goodness!! I remember being afraid to walk to my parents room because you had to pass by the laundry room and water heater ;)

Savanna's friend once told me there was a ghost in our house and anytime we step on a piece of bulged up carpet that the ghost would follow you UNLESS you had an acorn in your bedroom dresser. I kept an acorn in my drawer until we moved out.

I like what Larry said though. There are topics that invite different spirits, and you've got to be mindful of who you're opening the door for. Sounds like a good FHE topic ;)

Rebecca said...

It's a phase. It will NOT last 17 more years, I promise.

Linn said...

I truly do feel so bad for you, that would be horrible and frustrate me to death, but it also made me laugh. Because everything is more hilarious when it is not your children that are doing it.

mommeeof10 said...

My brothers, 30 years ago, told everyone there was a ghost name WHoo, who lived in their closet. They convinced themselves he existed. I think they eventually ourgrew the belief. At least they have not told me about WHO in years. ;)

Sarah said...

We have this lovely LED nightlight that changes colors in the bathroom, but both boys will come out SCREAMING if it turns to red while they are in there using the restroom at night.
They say it looks like a "monster eye"!
Hope you regain some sanity soon (though I must admit it sure made me smile to think of your potty buddy system!).

Sybrina said...

Our kids had their neighborhood friends convinced we had a haunted house, too. Good fun. We were the neighborhood attraction -lots of kids would love to come to our house to go down to the basement see if they could see a ghost, and then run back up the stairs screaming. Fortunately, the game ended. But, it is kind of amazing how convinced they all were of it. Like you said, I had a lot of trouble getting the kids to go down there alone.

Chelle! said...

I am convinced that your house is haunted. I agree with your little ones. I have been there at Halloween and it is scarey!!!