Friday, January 7, 2011

A New Point Of View

***I am totally warning you ahead of time that there are some pretty nasty pictures of my naked ankle in this post. If you don't want to see them then don't look. For reals! It's gross.***

I went back to see the surgeon again today and finally get that soft cast off. Glory Hallelujah!! That thing felt like I was dragging around 50 pounds of concrete whenever I tried to move it. When they took the cast off, here's what we saw:

The little incision

The big incision

I didn't realize how long (and gross looking) the incisions were. Or how many staples had been used to hold them together. I'll admit it made me a little queasy to see my foot like that. And even queasier to have the staples removed.

A nurse took some x-rays so we could check out the inside view as well. Want to see my new hardware?
Isn't it bionic? (Don't you think?)

I had no idea the plate was so long. Or that there were so many screws in there, either.

Seriously, I'm totally Bionic Ankle Woman now and it didn't cost me six million dollars. Don't be jealous.

When it came time to choose a color for the cast, I was waffling between black and white. Black wouldn't get dirty and it would match pretty much everything. With a white cast I could buy a huge pack of colored markers and let the kids go at it until I was sporting a masterpiece.

However, I ultimately went with something completely different...

Because how can you go wrong with camo? I figure this way no one can see my cast - that's the magic of camouflage.

That, my friends, is how I went from being an ordinary mother and housewife to the part Bionic, part Invisible Woman that you see before you today.

And now, after all of that excitement, I am ready to go and take a nap.

SuperGerb, out.


diane rene said...

eww eww eww!

I know you warned me, but I had to look. I hope it's feeling better than it looks! ;)

and I love the camo - tho at first I thought it was leopard, and I was thinking, "How am I gonna get me one of them?"

Richard & Natalie said...

Those incision scars are going to be nothing that a really great pair of socks can't hide. ;)

You were Bionic Mom before, now you just have the hardware to make it official!

Amy said...

"Super Gerb out"... Oh my gosh, I LOVE it! And I LOVE the pictures! I'm so glad you posted them. I can't believe how much damage was done! I didn't realize until your pictures that the surgeons actually use screws, like the type they can buy from the hardware store. Unreal!

Rebecca said...

Call me weird, but I didn't think the pics were gross. I think they're totally cool! And I loved how you can see the staples in the x-ray, too. Ha! That's crazy.

By the way, you are funny, Gerb! I need to find the video of you singing the Bionic Woman song. (Do I have that?)

Rachel said...

Your "little" incision???? You mean your big incision and your huger ;) incision! Wow Gerb!

You've always been incredible and bionic (and invisible when sneaking treats)! You mean you are finally recognizing what we've all seen and know!

Camo! That is awesome!!!

If you can't have Star Wars..... I'd say camo is pretty up there on the coolness radar.

Brown Thumb Mama said...

Cast? What cast? I can't even see your leg!

Wowza, those are some incisions. I hope they're giving you happy pain meds. Those look really gnarly.

Glad you're hanging in there ok. Sending you lots of love!

Teachinfourth said...

Man, that's totally a Frankenstein picture! I love it... just don't do it again, okay (the accident, not the picture).

Angela said...

that is awful poor Gerb

Gerb said...

Diane- It's a day to day process, trying to balance the knowledge that pain is needed for healing and medication is needed for relief. I love that you'd want a leopard cast!

Natalie- Completely agreed. I wear pants year-round already, anyway. I don't mind the scars as long as full use of my ankle/leg are back before too long.

Amy- I was shocked by how much damage was done, too. I didn't realize the extent of it until I saw the actual incisions and x-rays. And I also didn't realize that when they say "I'll be putting in some screws" that they aren't kidding. They look like the screws in Allen's wood shop.

Bec- That was the first talent show. Did you videotape the first one? I'm going to have to see if Allen's got video of that one. I LOVE that song. And I love that you recognize and appreciate my attempt at humor.

Rachel- If they had some sort of Star Wars cast I would have been ultra cool in my kids' eyes. Of course, I would have admired it myself as well.

BTM- The camo works! ;) Yes, I have some happy medications. I'm trying to wean myself off of them completely but for now that is not yet possible.

T5th- Pretty sick, eh? Maybe I'll start calling it my Bionic Invisible Frankenstein Leg.

Angela- Don't worry, my friend - I'm surviving and being well taken care of. :)

Annette said...

I love how you can find something positive and funny about the whole thing! (must be a gift) So, my bionic, invisible woman friend, are you able to get around any better now?

Just SO said...

So now getting through the airport is going to be a bit of a pain isn't it?

And my sons would be highly approving of that cast. I tried to get my 72 year old mom to go with camo when she had foot surgery last year but she didn't want to be partially invisible.