Saturday, May 1, 2010

It's Not You, It's Me

I have made a decision.

After today's post, I am going to turn off my comments.

I have decided as of late that blogging is consuming way too much of my time. However, I can not give it up entirely. I love having a place to express myself, record my family's happenings and share my thoughts with others. Honestly, your comments are a large part of what makes my blog so awesome. But here is what happens. I read your comments. If you are someone new, I click over to your blog and read to get to know who you are. I sometimes leave comments on your posts. Once I have done this, I have made it known that I am a reader on your blog and I feel like I am now obligated to continue commenting.

But wait, there's more...

I also notice other commenters on your blogs. They capture my interest and I then click over to their blogs to read. I see catchy blog titles on your blog rolls and read more blogs. I comment and read and subscribe to my favorites. And then I start to wonder... why doesn't so-and-so read my blog or comment? I've read theirs and commented many times. Maybe I'm not cool enough for their blog presence. Maybe they read my comments on their blog and wonder who the heck I am and why I bother to keep coming back?

Seriously, it's like high school all over again.

So I stop commenting. Then I start again, but only sometimes. Throughout the process I find more new blogs to peruse... etcetera, etcetera. If I wrote a blog post that day, I have to keep checking throughout the day to see if I have received any new comments, making the time to respond to everyone who stops by so they will not feel the way I do when I leave comments that end up feeling all lonely and ignored.

The next thing I know it is 2 hours past time to make dinner, the laundry is undone, my stairs are littered with Legos and my smallest children have somehow managed to decorate the white wainscot in our front room with 6 colors of Sharpie while feeding themselves leftover oatmeal.

Honestly? I am embarrassed to even admit to all of this, but it is what it is. My name is Gerb, and I have a blogging addiction. (Here is where you say, "Hello, Gerb!")

I do not want to care about how many people are following my blog or how many people are leaving comments. I can not make myself worry over why I feel inferior to certain other bloggers. I do not have time for all of this silly drama I am creating for myself.

So please understand - it's not you. It's me. I hope this isn't a break-up, but an opportunity for growth. I will continue to write and I hope you will continue to enjoy what I post.

For the sake of my own sanity, this is what I need to do.

Can we still be friends?


Brown Thumb Mama said...

"Hi, Gerb!" I'm right there with you.

I lecture Jackjack about discipline and self control and then can't tear myself away from the computer.

So will there be some tear in space-time since I'm commenting on the post whereafter there will be no more comments? Maybe I need to get off the computer and go to bed...

Yes, I will always love you even if I can't comment. =)

Teachinfourth said...

So now it looks like I'm going to have to just comment in real life from now on…what in the world will we ever talk about now?

Farscaper said...

Just so you know.... I stopped by. Typically I read and don't post. I get nervous I'll put my foot in my mouth. (it's a bad habit). I will continue to stop by even if I can't post "hi". I understand.

Believe me... it's 3am... where am I? .... Where should I be?? You get the picture.

stephanie said...

Hello Gerb,

I have been anonymously reading your blog for the past couple of months.

I have envied your way of looking at and standing in life, just by the way you write about it.
And now you say you feel insecure about it?
No, never do that, yours is one of the purest blogs I've read.

That's why up until now I've never commented: purity doesn't need contamination.
Like you say, you write this blog mostly for yourself and not for your readers.
We, your followers and other readers, are not important, this is your space and trust me, we'll read you anyway.

So not-commenting has not always to do with non-coolness, but sometimes with respect.

I sincerely hope you will keep on writing, so I can keep on reading. Anonymously.

Have a nice day.


Infertility Goddess said...

I share your opinions on this subject and joined the club a while ago. I am glad (or not so glad) to hear that your little ones get into the same type of shenanigans my toddlers do. It makes me feel like I really am not crazy.
I will always be here reading your blog because I love it and you!

The Empress said...

Oh,goodness! I woke up thinking this VERY THING!!


I stayed up way too late, the dishes didn't get done. My husband had to wake up to a dirty kitchen table, because I click, find a new blog, comment there, which leads me to a new blog.

I love that you won't stop writing. This is the most sincere, heartfelt piece I've read on what blogging can become.

The thing is: it has saved me from loneliness. But the price has been my time. Is it so different from those who watch TV? Or visit spas and salons?

I wonder. Maybe just a time limit of computer use? I'm going to do that. One hour , late at night. Then, when the timer is up, I'm done.

That, I can live with. But I can't cut off my lifeline. I was so very very lonely before I began blogging. So very lonely. It's worth a bit of sleep deprivaton.

This is a wonderful piece. I think it would do so well over at your other site, 4 perspectives.

Thank you for your honesty.

Becky said...

Hello Gerb!!!!

Anaise said...

I'll be reading--even if I can't comment.

At least I know your email address--just in case I absolutely MUST say something. :)

Elisera said...

Haha! There's a saying: "If my house is clean, the laundry is done, and dinner is made, then my computer must be broken."
So easy to get "sucked in" or feel obligated.
Yes, I'm a new commenter (although I've lurked here for a little while), but don't feel obligated to visit my site. I just wanted to say hi and I TOTALLY get it. cheers.

Kristin Garlick said...

Wow! Good for you Gerb! I will continue to read your fabulous blog! :)

Rachel said...

Hi Gerb. My name is Rachel and I have an addiction too. I've been struggling with the exact thing you have just posted and wondering if I have the strength to take the steps that you are now doing.

I applaude you and think you are even more wonderful for this post!!!

b. said...

Hello, Gerb!

For what it's worth...I LOVE reading what you write, though I rarely comment. Thank you for your words.

Amy said...

We can still be friends! And just for the record, the reason why I don't make comments all of the time is because I think you're too popular to bother with my snippets. Oh gosh! You're right! Just like in High School! Geesh! I support your decision 100%. And don't worry... I will still be reading your blog.

Gina said...

Cutting me off just like that? I guess I will have to call you on a phone or something.

Long live the commentless readers!!!!

Love you.

Richard & Natalie said...

I totally get it, Gerb.
We are definitely still friends...If you want to be? (Circle YES or NO )
Oh wait, that was elementary not high school. :)

You never cease to amaze me. I wish I were half as strong as you.

I am still here...and I always will be...comments or no comments.

Katie said...

Dear Gerb...
I totally understand why you're doing what you're doing. Just so you know, I've been jealous of your blog since I started reading it. Every time I read, I laugh and wish that I could create a blog half as witty as yours. I will continue to read and laugh and then of course...wish I could comment on your posts. :)

Anonymous said...


As long as you keep posting, I will keep reading!


Linn said...

Oh yes, I hope we can still be friends!

As long as you write on this blog--I will be reading it.

Trish said...

I'm with teachinfourth on this one.
Its like kids with texting...they text each other so much that there isn't anything to talk about when they are together in person...or worse...they are forgetting how.

I get way too sucked into the computer, its just a good thing I get to do it at work during down time and not at home or I'd really be in trouble. :)

T said...

LOL! Gerb- You're the best! I love that you ended the blog post about not accepting comments any more with a question. :) I totally get your feelings about time being wasted on the computer- I think we all need help with that. To step away for a while is knowing what you need in your life. I'm so glad we're friends. I hope to see you again soon!

Gerb said...

To everyone...

Thank you for your comments and support. And thanks to the new commenters for saying hi.

See ya on the internets... even if I'm not actually saying hello, I'm there. ;)

YogaSavy said...

Morning.I read your post about the lawnmower! You turned something bad into a funny situation. Very original!

Chrissy said...

Like the commenter above me, i read your lawnmower story too.. lol.. btw, don't feel bad, i have several who show up and just read.. i;ve got 2 gals who added themselves yet have never left a comment... Even tho at first it made me feel like I was under some scrutiny.. like my post wasn't good? or I hit a nerve and it offended? who knows... btw, I bet the person who stole the mower is too damn embarassed or will show up in the middle of the night.. btw get a motion detector light and that will scare the crappers out of them! lol

Kimm said...

I like to think that I have more readers than commenters......umm I hope so! BUT my blog is for me, so I guess it doesn't really matter!

P.S I love reading your blog!

Corine said...

Hi Gerb! :D ...just so you know, I've just had way too much on my plate at home lately to read other people's blogs (with only a couple rare exceptions) - thus the no comments here. I'm so glad I came here and found this today! I want you to know you are silly to feel inferior (but human, and that's OK), and your blogs are wonderful... and you are smart to alleviate the source of relived high school drama! GOOD JOB! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK WITH RE-PRIORITIZING!!!!

I will be back to reading your blogs as soon as I'm done cramming learning about Aspergers in every extra minute of my day (which are in short supply). Take care! ;) Corine

Corine said...


Kristi said...

See you on fb.

Cheryl said...

Hi Gerb!

I got here by way of 4 Perspectives which just goes to show that I'm a whole lot like you. I've added so many new blogs to my blogroll and feel obligated to read anytime anyone of those bloggers post, I'm going out of my freakin' mind. And of course, must leave comments. It's blogetiquette, right?

I feel so much better getting that off of my chest. Gotta get to my internet addiction meeting over on their website.

Anonymous said...

Aww. I just found you guys and was enjoying our conversation. That said, you always gotta do what is best to take care of you and yours. Always. I have to say I was so disappointed about the lawnmower post comments being closed because my sister's lawnmower was just stolen, and then they came back and took a bunch of electronics. I love that sign with the lawnmower bag!

Best to you and yours. I will keep reading even if comments are off. Take care!

Cng cylinder exporters said...

I share your opinions on this subject and joined the club a while ago.All posts have something to learn.I look forward to reading more on the topic in the future.I appreciate you and think you are even more wonderful for this post.
Anyway thanks for sharing.