Saturday, May 1, 2010
It's Not You, It's Me
I have made a decision.
After today's post, I am going to turn off my comments.
I have decided as of late that blogging is consuming way too much of my time. However, I can not give it up entirely. I love having a place to express myself, record my family's happenings and share my thoughts with others. Honestly, your comments are a large part of what makes my blog so awesome. But here is what happens. I read your comments. If you are someone new, I click over to your blog and read to get to know who you are. I sometimes leave comments on your posts. Once I have done this, I have made it known that I am a reader on your blog and I feel like I am now obligated to continue commenting.
But wait, there's more...
I also notice other commenters on your blogs. They capture my interest and I then click over to their blogs to read. I see catchy blog titles on your blog rolls and read more blogs. I comment and read and subscribe to my favorites. And then I start to wonder... why doesn't so-and-so read my blog or comment? I've read theirs and commented many times. Maybe I'm not cool enough for their blog presence. Maybe they read my comments on their blog and wonder who the heck I am and why I bother to keep coming back?
Seriously, it's like high school all over again.
So I stop commenting. Then I start again, but only sometimes. Throughout the process I find more new blogs to peruse... etcetera, etcetera. If I wrote a blog post that day, I have to keep checking throughout the day to see if I have received any new comments, making the time to respond to everyone who stops by so they will not feel the way I do when I leave comments that end up feeling all lonely and ignored.
The next thing I know it is 2 hours past time to make dinner, the laundry is undone, my stairs are littered with Legos and my smallest children have somehow managed to decorate the white wainscot in our front room with 6 colors of Sharpie while feeding themselves leftover oatmeal.
Honestly? I am embarrassed to even admit to all of this, but it is what it is. My name is Gerb, and I have a blogging addiction. (Here is where you say, "Hello, Gerb!")
I do not want to care about how many people are following my blog or how many people are leaving comments. I can not make myself worry over why I feel inferior to certain other bloggers. I do not have time for all of this silly drama I am creating for myself.
So please understand - it's not you. It's me. I hope this isn't a break-up, but an opportunity for growth. I will continue to write and I hope you will continue to enjoy what I post.
For the sake of my own sanity, this is what I need to do.
Can we still be friends?