It wasn't until after my family became LDS (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, best known as Mormons) that I realized what a complex language acronyms can be in and of themselves!
So I wrote a song about it. A parody, really.
I was asked to emcee a talent show at church a few years back and was worried that I would be lacking in material to keep the audience entertained between the various lip-syncs and ballroom dance numbers. I had jokes. I had funny stories. I even practiced my accordion in anticipation of my big night, but nothing seemed enough, so I wrote a song about the acronyms found in daily conversations between those of the LDS faith. If you are not LDS, you may think, "What's the big deal?" Actually, if you are LDS, you may think the same thing. But here goes:
"Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" Originally by Air Supply
"LDS Life" Parody by Gerberta
My family was converted when I was eight years old
We loved this new religion - the missionaries called us "gold"!
I learned what CTR means from attending Primary
But I was unaware back then of Mormon acronym vocabulary!
When I joined the MIA, my friends liked to go TP
I went along but felt unworthy Sunday morning at BYC
Then my MIA Maid president told me all about EFY
And how the boy she had met didn’t mind PDA
and they would NCMO at the dances each night!
Well, I thought it sounded special, so I flew to SLC
Then I rode UTA to attend EFY, but they dropped me at the JSB!
And I didn’t know where the WILK was,
It was my first time at the “Y”…but I found my way around there and I knew…
This was LDS life. (repeat 5 times)
Look at me now, I’ve had 6 miracles and we drive an SUV.
My husband’s not a GA, but we have FHE and read D&C.
He goes to PEC & PPI and every last Sunday we do HT & VT.
We listen to KSL every day until three & our kids watch KBYU faithfully.
And, oh my heck, I forgot to mention that he graduated from UVSC!
We look forward to the day when we will have a missionary.
And he can learn the discussions and he’ll SYL while he is there in the MTC!
When he gets out in the field he’ll do a lot of BRT.
And then he could be a ZL, or maybe a DL, heck, he might even be the AP!
When he’s done he’ll return with honor, and find himself a wife.
And they’ll do all the same things that we did – that’s how it is.
That is LDS life. (sing to fade)
Okay, THIS IS A TEST...Did you get all the acronyms?