People Are People

This is what people see when they approach the back of our vehicle. My brother-in-law sells these stickers and put them on there for us. I'll admit that I used to be a part of the group who thought they were... I don't know, braggy? Ultra-mormon? But now I LOVE them. Mostly because they make for some interesting parking lot conversations and encounters on the road.

Almost every person who sees these stickers proclaiming that 2 parents have 9 children wants to see the person who is driving. They'll speed up, look at me (or Allen) and then slow back down or zip on by. I've become accustomed to this and will often wave or even offer a friendly salute - only because I know it makes them feel a bit awkward that I'm on to them... and I'm all about getting people out of their comfort zones. In the summer I even like to have the kids roll down their windows and we bust some amazing synchronized dance moves or head bangin' as other vehicles pass, gawking.

A few times, I have been surprised. Once a man matched my speed on the freeway (pet peeve) until I looked over at his vehicle so that he could hold up 9 fingers followed by a finger pointing at me and a questioning look. I offered a thumbs-up with a quick head-nod before he sped off, smiling and shaking his head.

On our recent trip home from California an equally large vehicle, also filled to capacity with a whole passel of kids, pulled alongside us. The driver gave Allen a generous smile and a double-thumbs-up and then sped off.

Just about every time I walk out of a StuffMart or grocery store there is someone standing behind my vehicle, counting stickers. When they realize it is my car, the counters will either ask where I got the stickers or if I really have 9 kids. Not because they honestly care to know, but because they feel as if they have to say something.

Once I even caught a girl taking a picture of the back window with her phone. I pretended to walk past, then stopped and said, "That's a LOT of people on that window!"

"Yeah," she said, "I'm totally going to post this on my blog. Can you believe it?! How do they fit all those kids in there?"

"Well," I told her, "we have a custom seat for 3 in the cargo area and we don't often travel all together so it actually works out really well."

Her eyes widened just slightly before she said, "I was just kidding about putting the picture on my blog."

"It's okay," I told her. "I was planning to do the same thing myself."

And look... I did.

Life Is A Highway

Yesterday we made the long trip back home from our annual visit to sunny southern California. As we drove and the scenery changed from the Joshua Trees of the high desert to the bright lights of Las Vegas; from the crimson cliffs of southern Utah to the snow-covered mountains closer to home, I realized that these road trips are a lot like life.

Sometimes the roads are free and clear with no obstacles or distractions, but other times we get mired in traffic and chaos and we have to make a choice. We can patient and wait until we pass through it all or we can become angry and frustrated about the surrounding chaos - even though it is something beyond our control.

Often we will notice that the traffic is stopped on the other side of the road. This makes us thankful that we are traveling in a different direction just then.

There are times where we may become lost and unsure of where to go. We can choose to stop and ask for directions or try to make our own path to our destination but either way we are usually able to eventually get to where we are going. Some paths are more difficult to travel but offer a much better view while other times the road will be easy to navigate.

We may encounter ground-shaking storms or patches of ice which require us to slow down for a bit or maybe even to stop altogether in search of shelter. Other times we will enjoy perfect weather; sunshine with just enough cloud-cover to offer warmth and protection at the same time and road conditions which are near perfect.

When we start to run out of gas it is an opportunity to pull over, stretch our weary bodies and fill up our tanks again. The road is always there, but we don't have to rush to get back to it; we can take our sweet time, take pictures, and resume our road-trip when we feel ready.

Some journeys are long and seem almost never-ending, other trips are much too short, but the excursion is always worthwhile for the people we meet, the experiences we gain, the memories we make and the beautiful scenery we take in along the way.

And regardless of the length of our drive or the things we encounter, the journey is all worth it when we reach our destination in the end.

I Have A Comment

My blog address is GerbsRandomThoughts, so today that's what you're going to get.

Here's the deal. Over 2 years and 404 posts ago, I started writing this blog. Initially it was because I love to write and I loved the idea of others wanting to read what I had to write. Actually, I still write for those very reasons but now there is more.

Like an actor on the stage loves applause, a blogger on the internet loves comments. And today I propose that it we start leaving them more often.

Not necessarily always "Hey, great job!" kind of comments every time, and not necessarily a long diatribe of opinion, either. It's just nice to know that someone read a post and left a comment to show they were there.

I sort of wonder - is there some kind of blog etiquette that I am unaware of regarding comments? If you have never been to the person's blog before and read it for the first time and never come back again, is it okay for you to comment? I say yes. Do you have to have read a person's blog for a specific amount of time before it is okay to come out of "blog-stalking/lurking" and leave a comment? I don't think so.

Here's what I think. Everyone likes comments. Think about it. Have you ever read a blog or heard a conversation where someone says something like, "And then this person I have NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE had the GALL to leave a comment on my BLOG! Can you even believe that?!" No, it is more likely you will read or hear something about how everyone loves being acknowledged. Unless I am unaware of some set of rules out there in blog land regarding the who/why/where/when and how of proper commenting, I am going to assume that comments are a good, positive, always welcome thing.

(Unless you're a commenter who says things like, "Your kids are hideously ugly and I am hiding in your bushes." In that case, my neighborhood watch program is in full force, I own 23 guns and I'm a quadruple black belt in karate. Plus you're wrong about my kids.)

So, here's the deal. I'm throwing down the gauntlet. Let's try a little experiment.

For the next day or 2 days or week or rest of your life (you set your own time limit) let's leave comments on all of the posts we read. Really. Every.One. Make your presence known! Leave happy, kind, polite, grateful and supportive comments when you read what someone took the time to write. I'm not saying you have to agree with everyone... because wouldn't life be boring if we all agreed with each other all the time? But I bet it would make someone's day if they got a slew of unexpected comments on a post. Or even just one unexpected comment. Don't you think?

Come on... let's spread some internet sunshine. Are you with me?

Getting In Shape

photo from commons.wikimedia.org

I dusted off my rollerskates the other day and went for a little spin. I am embarrassed to say that it was roughly 3 miles round-trip and I could barely make it back home. I thought to myself (as I attempted to keep up with my husband - who was running well ahead of me)... I need to eat better. I need to exercise more. I am out of shape.

And then I thought about that phrase: Out Of Shape. What the heck does that mean, anyway? Out of what shape? What shape am I supposed to be, and who decides? Am I a rectangle? Square? Circle? I started looking at others that I passed as I rolled on (wheezing) by. What shape were they in? Triangle? Octagon? None of these shapes seemed to fit.

And then - it came to me... the kind shape I wanted to be in. A heart! This would this require a different kind of change. Not a change in what I ate, but a change in who I was. I could be more kind towards others. Less judgmental. I could look for opportunities to do nice things for my neighbors, friends and family - even perfect strangers! I could look at others and try to see their potential and worth... no matter what their shape. Maybe then I could be a heart.

Or a star! I always wanted to be a star. Someone that others could look up to. Not afraid to stand out; a bright, shining beacon of light in a sea of darkness. A luminous guide for those who need help finding their way. I would love to be in star shape.

Well-rounded like a circle?

Sharp-looking like a triangle?

I decided I wasn't 'out of shape' after all. I think I could make the best of whatever shape I was labeled as or determined to be.

I am in shape.

Overheard

Photo from corbis.com

I overheard a conversation in the copy room at church last week.

It was between two women I do not know very well, but I could not help listening in as they spoke of another member of our congregation.

"She is just the sweetest lady you'll ever meet. So thoughtful and kind! She is always going out of her way to make people feel welcome in the neighborhood. And she is the greatest mom - I love watching her with her kids. She makes everything fun, even her food..."

I couldn't wait to hear who they were speaking of, although I had a pretty good idea of who it was. In fact, I had a great story of her kindness to add to their dialogue and so I made my presence known by stepping into the room.

"Well, here she is!" the one lady said to the other. "Have you met Gerb yet?"

What? I thought to myself. They were talking about me? I am the woman who makes everything from scratch? I am the person who goes out of my way to make others feel welcomed? I am the greatest mom? And so on, and so on. It was kind of overwhelming, to be honest. And it got me thinking about the whole situation for the rest of the day.

Here's what I realized: nobody's perfect, even if others think we are. We all have our faults, our weaknesses, our own little skeletons-in-the-closet. Yet many times we are the only ones who are aware of these flaws. Should we broadcast our personal failings and correct others who put us on a pedestal? I don't think so.

Why?

Because I know that others whom I admire have their own Achilles' heel(s) that I am unaware of. And you know what? I prefer the unknown.

Besides, the people I revere sure look great up on that pedestal.

Look At Me

ElemenoB and Thumbelina joined me for my bi-monthly all-day marathon grocery shopping trip last Saturday. As we were leaving the third store on our route ElemenoB made an interesting observation:

"People at the store just look at each others grocery carts when they walk past. Nobody looks at anybody's face."

I had never really thought about that before, but decided to see for myself if it was true in the next supermarket. Sure enough, not one person with a shopping cart looked at me. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. So I decided to do something about it at our last stop.

Let's call it an experiment in human nature.

From the time we left the car, I looked into the face of every person who passed me.

"Hello there!" I said to the cart-collector in the parking lot.

I got one of those slight-upwards-nod-of-the-head movements in return.

"Welcome to Walmart," the door-greeter said in his monotone, I-hate-my-job voice.

"Thanks! I LOVE shopping here!" I replied, which was a little bit of a lie, but it solicited a friendly half-wave as I continued walking. So I think it was worth it.

"How are you today?" I asked an older gentleman in passing in the produce section.

"Very well, thank you. You have a good day!" he replied.

This was fun.

Eye contact, smiles, and an occasional word met every shopper who passed my cart.

In frozen foods, a twenty-something scanned the Bagel Bites.

"Hi!" I called to her with a smile on my face.

She looked behind her. Nobody there. She looked back at me.

"Um, hi." she answered, closing the freezer and avoiding eye contact, as she pushed her cart past me.

No Bagel Bites today, apparently.

In the peanut butter aisle I passed a woman dressed in her Sunday best.

"I love your dress!" I exclaimed.

She looked at my cart.

"That's a lot of peanut butter."

"Yes," I replied, "I have a lot of kids and they all love peanut butter."

"Hmmm. Have a good one." she said as she continued down the aisle.

"You too!" I called after her.

In the dairy section I encountered my toughest case. Her hair was 3 shades of purple along with some of (what I assumed was) her natural brown. One colorful, glittery eye peeked out from behind her long bangs and I couldn't count all of her facial piercings. She was perusing the many varieties of yogurt.

"Hello," I said, looking her in the (one) eye.

She continued perusing. Yoplait or Dannon? Mountain Dairy or Great Value?

"I really like Mountain Dairy," I offered.

She went back to Yoplait. Ignoring me.

Should I give up? I thought to myself.

I am not a quitter.

"Have you ever tried this kind before?" I asked, holding up some Dannon.

She turned and looked me square in the eye.

She pulled her headphones out of her ears.

"Were you saying something to me?" she asked.

"Oh, I didn't realize you had headphones in," I answered, slightly embarrassed. "I was just saying hello. You know, making friendly conversation. Nothing important. Sorry to bother you."

"Hey, lady," she called to me as I walked away.

I turned. "Yeah?"

"Hello. And I like your shoes."

I looked at my shoes, then back up at her. "Thanks."

"No problem. You have a good one, ok?" she said with a smile.

"Yeah, you too." I responded.

Here I was, trying to see how others would respond to me, and this young woman's smile made my day.

Happiness can come in the most unexpected packages.

photo from personalnewtrition.com