Thanks, Curly. I needed that.
I was sitting in a line the other day when I overheard a conversation between two women. I didn't feel too bad eavesdropping because they were talking loud enough for everyone in the line to hear without even trying. One of them mentioned that she loved the idea of trying to say 'yes' to your children as much as possible. I started to think about that and I realized that I say 'no' to my kids far too often. I tend to be overprotective and, to be honest, lazy. Because usually when I say no it's because my involvement is required to do the thing they are asking. So last week I tried saying 'yes' more often and I noticed that my kids were (pleasantly) shocked by my response a lot of the time. Saying 'yes' does require my time and attention, but I think it's good for all of us in moderation.
Little O asked me if we could all go swimming and I said, "we'll see". I then overheard Curly whispering to him, "When Mom says we'll see or maybe that means no". So I guess I need to work on not saying every form of no in my vocabulary. And I should probably get over my extreme discomfort over wearing a swimsuit in public as well. So much to work on! Baby steps.
I have no idea why, but at one point in my day last week I had an overwhelming desire to be walking along a beach with warm sand between my toes and a salty ocean breeze blowing through my hair. I went outside and walked up and down the block with Little X. But concrete sidewalks are nowhere close to sand and mountain winds, although exhilarating, are not salty breezes. ((Sigh))
Little X can sit and play with our plastic box full of toy cars for hours. He lines them up from the kitchen to the front door, races them across the slick kitchen floor, sorts them by color and creates conversations for them to have with each other ("You not a speedy car, Mis-toe Bwue!" "Well, I say-ud turn and go up and up but you dinnit yisten. So I AM a speedy car. Dwive away!") All-a-Boy left his Lego collection upstairs for about a week and that kept X happily entertained for entire days, too. I love watching him effortlessly use his imagination.
Just over a month ago, I started texting. I can definitely see the benefits of it but I can confidently state that I prefer real conversations. Well, most of the time. There are some people that it is easier to just text with when I don't have the time for a long conversation. The sad thing is, I'm THAT friend. The one people would probably prefer to text with. If you've ever tried to call me for a quick conversation you know what I mean. So, win/win?
I don't know what it is about this time of year but it always makes me feel unsettled, like there's something I'm supposed to be doing that I'm not. I don't know if it has to do with the change of seasons or some repressed childhood memory or what. It's harder for me to fall asleep. I am constantly counting my children to make sure they're all there. I keep checking my calendar for missed appointments. I become overly sensitive and even easily offended. The only way I can think to describe it is that something feels just not quite right and I don't know why or what I can do about it.
Out of nowhere the other day I had a thought enter my mind: why do most people wait until they know they are dying to really make the most of every minute of life? I mean really, we're all one step closer to dying with each moment we're alive, right? I thought right then that I should always be doing the things that would really matter most to me. And when I thought long and hard about what those things were it all came down to spending time with my family and close friends, making happy memories and creating a legacy of love. I'm making a real effort to be better about how I spend my time.
When Little X asked if he and I could eat the rest of the pumpkin pie for lunch, I said yes right away. Baby steps!