(photo from flickr.com)Today I was at WalMart getting an oil change. The wait? 1 hour, 15 minutes.
No problem, I thought, trying to make the best of it. I can go to the bank, purchase some groceries and eat a small container of Cherry Garcia all by myself.
I finished my business at the bank. Bought groceries, including Cherry Garcia. Sat on a bench and consumed my treat. Checked the time: only an hour had passed.
Close enough, I assumed, heading back to the automotive center.
"Your car has not even come into the garage yet. It will be at least another hour," the boy with 2 humongous holes in his earlobes told me.
"I was told an hour and 15 minutes," I replied (sweetly).
"You were told wrong. It's at least another hour," Earlobe Boy answered (teenagerishly).
I decided to peruse the electronics section.
Then the music aisles.
And then the toys.
I wandered aimlessly, scanning the Legos and action figures and trains and princess clothing before I came to them: the Littlest Pet Shop figures. And suddenly I came alive. Remember this post? Well, my birthday is THIS WEEK and I had forgotten all about the little doggy who came with his own potty training accessories!! I totally deserve it I convinced myself as I rummaged through the LPS animals.
Another lady came along and joined me.
"Looking for a certain one?" she asked. "My daughter has almost all of them," she told me with a smile.
"Actually, yes, I am looking for a certain one..." I answered, continuing my search. Turtles, cats and fish (oh, my!)... but not the doggy I was looking for.
"I can help you find it," she continued. "Is it a bird? Some of those are tough to find."
Me: "It's a dog."
Lady: "What comes with it?"
Me: "Um, a newspaper... and a shovel... and a little plastic (trying to keep my composure and be mature...) poop."
Lady: "What?"
Me: "A plastic pile of poop."
Lady: "They don't make one like that."
Me: "Actually, I saw one at KMart a while back. I wanted my daughter to get it but she thought it was disgusting."
Lady: (knowingly) "Okay." (looking up and down the aisle) "Is there a camera somewhere?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Lady: "You know, like, Surprise! We got you!"
Me: (seriously trying to suppress my laughter) "Nope, no camera. I'm really looking for a little dog that comes with its own pooper scooper and poop."
Lady: "Hmmm." (continues to look, quietly)
I investigated every single package (to no avail!) before hearing Earlobe Boy announce my name over the intercom. My vehicle was ready. No toys for me today.
"You have a good one," I told my fellow LPS toys-peruser as I turned to leave.
"Plastic turd toys. Leave it to KMart," she said under her breath.
I haven't stopped smiling yet.
