This is WAR!

Apparently, the "tooth fairy" reads my blog. Why do I write"tooth fairy" that way? Because the "tooth fairy" I am referring to is an impostor.

Let me explain. I am well acquainted with the tooth fairy who picks up teeth and leaves cash at our house. Very well acquainted, actually. I mean, with 9 kids - that's a lot of teeth!

You can imagine my surprise when I found a nice little package on our doorstep last night. I brought it in and showed it to Cowgirl, who was ecstatic to have a visit from the "tooth fairy" when she hadn't even lost a tooth! We all know this is impossible. I mean, haven't we all seen "Santa Clause 2"?! Plus, the letter on the package was written in a different font than was used last time. And this note was full-sized, not tiny tooth fairy sized like the last one. And I always know when the real tooth fairy is coming. I had no advance notice here. I rest my case.

The impostor's note read:

(click on the picture to enlarge)

And inside were these:
Not Peeps, but sugar-coated marshmallow people decorated with frosting. Because, as we all know, the marshmallows and sugar coating are not enough to produce a true, bouncing-off-the-walls sugar high. We must give the children frosting as well.

I will say this - these Peep impostors are much cuter than actual Peeps. But no matter. The sugar-induced hyperactivity was twice the norm.

I will find you, "tooth fairy". And when I do... it's war.

Who Knew?

One thing I love about Christmas is getting treats from the neighbors. It is no secret that I have quite the sweet tooth and I love eating holiday sweets... except for Peeps. These disgusting lumps of marshmallow coated with sugar crystals are an Easter candy that has been exploited to fit every possible holiday.

Hey, you can like them. I'll still be your friend.

...back to the Peeps.

Last Sunday a well-intentioning neighbor brought over EIGHT! packages of Peeps Christmas trees for our family to enjoy. "They were left over from what I gave to the kids in nursery at church today," she explained. "And you have all those kids, so I knew they'd get eaten."

The thought was very... sweet. But just imagining the sugar-induced high that my kids would be experiencing made my stomach feel sickly.

The kids were already bouncing off walls. Continuous strains of "Can I have a Peep? Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I, Mom?" were reverberating through my ears as I deliberated a possible solution to the overabundance of Peeps.

"Let's sleep on it," I responded. "I'll have an answer in the morning."

It turns out someone else took care of the Peeps for me.

Cowgirl had lost one of her front teeth that very afternoon and set it in the usual place, on top of the microwave, in anticipation of some cold, hard cash from the tooth fairy. As we headed for bed I placed the Peeps on top of the microwave as well, in 2 stacks of 4 boxes each.

In the morning we found this note:


The speculation among the kids is now that the tooth fairy collects teeth to replace her own.

Tooth fairy, wherever you are, thank you.