Monday, November 26, 2018

More Everyday Jokes for Kids

Some of these are funnier than others. You have to remember that I have a wide range of kids to give jokes to - from elementary age through high schoolers. So there has to be something for everyone.

How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!

What do you do if you see a spaceman?
You park your car, man.

Where do sheep go to get a haircut?
To the baa-baa shop.

Which dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
The Thesaurus

Where do typists go for a drink?
To the space bar.

When does a joke become a "dad joke"?
When the punchline is apparent.

What award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.

What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday - the rest are weekdays.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
He woke up.

What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.

How does a train eat?
It goes: chew, chew.

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.

What shoes does a ninja wear?
Sneakers.

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture bedtime.

Where do rabbits go after they get married?
On a bunnymoon.

Which letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail.

What's the hardest part of throwing a space party?
You have to planet.

What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?
You rocket.

Why is the word "dark" spelled with a 'K' and not a 'C'?
Because you can't see in the dark.

Why are chemists bad at telling jokes?
They lack the element of surprise.

Why is it hard to come up with a chemistry joke?
All the good ones argon.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
It was well armed.

What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?
Udder destruction.

How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.

What do you call a snail on a ship?
A snailer.

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't curium and you can't helium, you may as well barium.

What did the cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?
Mitosis

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
The p is silent.

What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a frog?
A bunny ribbit.

When do doctors get mad?
When they run out of patients.

What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
A Cockerpoodledoo!

What do you call a bee born in May?
A May bee

What do you call an elephant who doesn't matter?
Irrelephant.

How much money does a skunk have?
One scent.

What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefifobia

How do dinosaurs pay for things?
Tyrannosaurus checks.

How do mountains see?
They peak.

What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.








1 comment:

Anaise said...

Some of these are hilarious!

Thanks for the smile this morning. :)