Monday, June 17, 2013

Random Thoughts

Thumbelina & her pal Smiley along with Nacho and Rappa. You're never too old to play dress ups.

Sometimes, no matter what I do, people don't like me.  I just have to accept this as a fact and keep going, realizing that nothing I could ever do will change their minds.

At least, I have to try.

No matter how many kids we have our home will eventually be back to where it started - with just the two of us.  I just have to hope I've done all I can to make them want to come back.

But just to visit.

On the days when the kids think I'm the lamest/meanest/dumbest/most controlling mom ever and show me how they feel in what they do and say I just need to remember that they usually say they're sorry.  'This too shall pass' is something I say to myself in my head all the time.

But sometimes it doesn't pass.  And I wish I could stop taking it personally.

I'm pretty sure that when I say "get your jobs done" my kids somehow hear it as, "go do something that will create a huge mess in your room" or "ignore me right now".  But when I say something like "who wants a cookie?" or try to discreetly open a package of Darkside Skittles or a Chocolove wrapper they hear me with supersonic clarity. Even when I'm inside my closet, inside my bedroom, with both doors closed. 

When I run into my older kids' friends at the store, I'm never sure of what to do.  I always want to say hi and ask how they're doing but sometimes I'll make eye contact with one and they'll look away with such force that I worry about being "that mom".  You know the one.

Actually, I usually just try to say hello anyway.  If they have a problem with their friends' mom saying hi or talking to them then they can deal with it.  Usually they're very kind about it.

What I'd really like to do is suddenly break out in song, dance or air guitar when they try to ignore me.  Because I kind of want to be that mom.

I am SO in love with the idea of doing away with "graduation" ceremonies from kindergarten, 6th grade and 8th grade!  I would like to publicly thank All-a-Boy's middle school for putting an end to this 8th grade tradition a few years ago.

Don't get me wrong - it's super cute to watch the kindergartners sing songs about Jell-o and recite poems about what they learned over the year, but I can get the same performance in my living room without trying to catch video and take pictures of my child over the heads of the 20 people sitting in front of me.

This year I had kids graduating from high school, 8th grade (no ceremony!), 6th grade AND kindergarten.  I love them all and I am proud of them all.  But I don't need a ceremony to prove it.  However, I still attended all of the ceremonies because I am a good mom and that is what good moms do.

Kind of like how I go to parent teacher conferences just to hear how awesome my kids are.

I've figured out a trend in my life.  Whenever I want to cut my hair short it is typically when I am frustrated or depressed about something.  I have never liked the way my hair has looked when it was short but I think it's been an outward expression of my inner temperament.

I am glad to have figured this out about myself before I went drastically short, like as short as it was the month my dad died 12 years ago.  I have now decided to grow my hair out until I'm completely gray.  Then I will rock a curly pixie cut.  If there is such a thing.

I'm going to be brave in the way I live my life this summer (but not with my hair).  I was inspired by this song, thanks to the heads up from Thumbelina's friend Smiley.  (She's in the picture up top.  I love you Smiley!)

Dance-walking, anyone?  (You probably don't think I'm serious but I totally am.  Early mornings in my neighborhood are a great time for dance-walking and I'd love to prove it to you by having your company.) 

I am suddenly overly-sensitive to fresh pineapple.  This makes me sad because I love fresh pineapple.  But I could live the rest of my life without experiencing what I'm still experiencing as a result of what it did to my mouth last week.  Ouch!

I have so many plans in the works for this summer.  By "in the works" I really mean "in my head" but I'm hoping to see a few of them come to fruition.  Especially the awesome ones.  I'll definitely be writing about a couple of them when they happen.

My oldest boy sent me pictures last week and I can not even tell you what joy it brings me to see his smiling face serving the good people down in Texas.

Happy summer y'all!


Heather Rose-Chase said...

Oh girl, that is maybe the best video EVER. I'm up to some stuff in the next month that is going to require quite a bit of bravery and boy did that strike a chord! The good news is that it doesn't require dancing. Because I already will occasionally inflict the poor people of Shanghai with a little dance break when I have my iPod playing and I'm waiting for the train or to cross the street. I know you'd join in, even if nobody else ever does!

A Lark said...

I just realized tonight that it has been months since I read any blogs. So I started with yours - and I'm so glad I did! Oh, I miss you! And I miss your author "voice"! Thanks for the video. I am downloading that song RIGHT NOW. It is amazing.... as are you. Cheers!

Alexis said...

I LOVE when I run into you in public! Seriously, it always brightens my day because you are always happy!

Annette said...

I've got your pineapple dilemma solved!! Just pour a little salt onto your freshly cut pineapple and it'll nutralize the acid.. It sounds weird but it SO works!!! Oh and I'm so with you on the graduation thing (and I haven't even had to deal with it yet!)

Rachel said...

That video, okay, not THAT video, but the message behind it is why I cut my hair short. I'm telling you. A hair straightener is an awesome invention. Otherwise I look like Kramer!!

I can't imagine anyone not liking you. I mean that seriously. I love you the way that you are and if I weren't a lazy butt I'd join you in your street dancing/walking escapade.

Chelle! said...

Hello!! First of all, I am pretty sure that EVERYONE loves you. But by chance that you meet an occasional person that doesn't like you, they must be an alien from another place or planet and they do not deserve your friendship. Aliens are kind of scary. I know where some live because I have witnessed six eyeballs staring at me.

As for your children returning after they are married and have families of their own...I am pretty sure that they will visit often. You would be too cool of a grandma not to visit.

When you run into your kids' friends and they try to ignore you...don't feel bad, it happens to everyone (even the coolest YW leader ever to be found on this earth...ha ha...I am only teasing about this last part--you know the comment inside the parenthesis).

As for graduations...I can't agree with you on that one. I haven't experienced many graduations to be frustrated with because...well, you children.

As for dance-walking...that sounds simply fabulous. I might have to join you sometime.

Pineapple...I would have to cry tears over that problem. I already can't eat bananas and I love them.

I can't wait to read about your adventures this summer.

Oh and I do love seeing your missionary smile. It is contagious!!

Petersons said...

Yes, I'm wondering what you've got going in your head for the summer. I'm sure it's fun.
And I'm sure everyone likes you - how could they not?
(Maybe someone was having a bad day)!

Anna King said...

Gerb I just love you!
Can I just tell you I am so happy I found your blog! Carter was just telling me last night how sad he was that you don't have a facebook any longer because he loves your blog and of course neither one of us could remember what it was! He is going to be so happy when I tell him I found it! With help from my mom I'll admit haha:)

Sarah said...

I love you. I missed you. And I'm not a stalker. But you are AWESOME, and I'm only online right now to read your blog. The end!