Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Quick Quips: Teenager Version

Here I am, hard at work.

I had the chance to spend 4 days with Thumbelina and her high school's cross country team last week as a chaperone on a trip to California. I forget how fun teenagers can be. (Seriously!) On the bus ride there, I overheard all sorts of funny conversations going on... so I got my notebook out and started taking notes for the duration of the trip.

These quotes came from the mouths of teenagers from all over Utah - we shared buses with quite a few teams.


I wish I could speak that language that sounds like spitting and clicks.

Boys are so dumb. All they want to do is eat, sleep and make girls feel awkward.

Sometimes I wish my parents weren't such old people!

When people say "fat lard", that doesn't make any sense. Isn't that like saying "fat fat"?

Something's wrong with my cell phone - it doesn't have your number in it.

I do too know what Humble Pie is! I eat some every morning!

It must be your bedtime because everything you're saying sounds like Japanese.

Teen Boy #1: How many people do you think it would take to break this elevator?
Teen Boy #2: Let's find out!

Remember how yesterday I told you I had a boyfriend? Well, now I don't. So do you want my number?

Teen Boy #1: (loudly) People who got a problem with watching John Wayne movies got them a real serious problem.
Teen Boy #2: (quietly) And apparently people who do watch John Wayne movies have a problem with putting a real sentence together.

Teen Girl: One thing I learned at Disneyland is that Mickey Mouse is so much huger in real life than he is in movies!
Teen Boy: Did you also notice that in real life he's a person in a costume and in movies he's a cartoon drawing?

I would rather pull out my eyeballs and float them in arsenic.

Do my lips feel chapped to you?

Teen Boy: Hey everyone! The bus driver and I both got naked at the gas station!
Bus Driver: ...
Teen Boy: (holds up Naked brand drink) Right?

And here are a few 'Only A Utah Teen Would Say That' quips:

I got some hot chocolate at a gas station once and then I was SO self-conscious about carrying around a coffee cup! I mean, what if someone thought I was really drinking coffee?!

He's the kind of person they give all those conference talks about.

Teen Girl to Teen Boy: I can't wait to have a bunch of kids someday!


Linn said...

These are fabulous--I'm so glad you wrote them down.

"I would rather pull out my eyeballs and float them in arsenic."

My favorite. Can I borrow that one, even if a teenager did say it?

Rachel said...

Sounds like you had a great time. So far, I am continuing to wonder what all of the hype is about teenagers. I find them to be a blast and like all of the other stages my kids have gone through, loving every minute of it. What's not to love? I'm no longer changing their diapers or brushing their teeth! Instead I'm reminding them to change their own underwear and brush their own teeth! :D

GaeLynn said...

So funny!!!!!

Rebecca said...

My favorite: the Naked comment! Wowsers!

TrueBliss said...

I work with High School kids all year long and without fail, EVERY year we go on tour, a select few will buy the drink NAKED just so they can say "I went to California and got Naked with 'so-and-so'" It seems that line will always be funny to them ;)

Richard & Natalie said...

Hilarious! I love the 'Naked' one, too. Poor bus driver!

Chelle! said...

That is one thing that I LOVE about YW Camp. We get to listen to all of these fun stories and comments.

Annette said...

I wondered what teens say when they are around each other! This is fantastic! I hope you do it again sometime!

Teachinfourth said...

Gerb, I laughed out loud several times with this.

The bus driver one?

Pulling out your eyeballs?

These were awesome.

Just SO said...

Ha! Those are fabulous! It's good to remember the good things about that age when most of the time all we hear are the bad.