Friday, October 23, 2009


I spotted this sign in W-Mart this week:

...and I couldn't help but think, really? Is that sign seriously necessary?

I mean, I'll be the first to admit that we live in a conservative state. And I know that I live in a city where the local university is constantly recognized for their squeaky clean image.

But, really?

I tried to imagine what would necessitate posting such a sign, and here is the story that grew in my head...

Two roommates from the local squeaky-clean university have been asked to bring something to drink to a dorm party. The theme for the party is: Autumn. The roommates run into W-Mart and peruse the drink aisle for something autumnish, to no avail. And then, behold! At the end of the carbonated beverages aisle there is an end-cap filled with pretty yellow drinks called: C0r0na Extra.

One roomie says to the other: "Oh, my heck! These drinks are so perfect! The yellow color of them totally makes me think of autumn stuff! And bottles are so much cooler than cans! What do you think?" Then roomie number two says: "Heck-to-the-yes! We are so totally buying these pretty yellow drinks with the name C0r0na Extra! It sounds way exotic and plus it says Extra and that is my favorite kind of gum!"

So the roommates show up at the dorm party and arrange their pretty autumn-yellow colored drinks in a huge tub full of ice and everyone says, "NO WAY! How did you find drinks that are totally the color of yellow autumn leaves?! On a scale of 1 to 10 these drinks rank like a 34 for our autumn theme!"

And then the Dorm Mom walks in and says, "OH MY GOSH WHO BROUGHT ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES TO THE DORM PARTY?!" And the room is suddenly silent.

When Dorm Mom finds out where the drinks were purchased she calls W-Mart to give them the what-for and she is convincing enough that they post a sign.

But you know what? I would LOVE to hear what you think happened.

What's your take on the sign?


Martha said...

I don't know, but I LOVE your version!!! LOL!!!! Perfect!

rorymckm said...

seeing as how i LOVE research, i had to look up utah s.b. 211 and i have to say, after first glance i don't see ANYTHING in that bill that would reference that photo. nothing. of course, i didn't weed through the whole thing (yet), but "election law changes" don't see to quite fit the pic....hmm....

Mom not Mum said...

Haha - see they NEED to have that sign on the Mike's Hard Lemonade - my friend's sister bought that lemonade and then told him that it tasted really nasty and made her feel light headed. Did she NOT notice she was in the alcohol section at the grocery store? I'm not sure - but she needs the sign.

Katie said...

My guess would be because of all the commotion about the rockstars and beverages of that nature. As if stores weren't cautious enough around that area, they're even more cautious. I would say however, that your version is much more exciting to read. (And I'm sure something like that has happened before. Sad, so very sad.)

Teachinfourth said...

I would imagine that because the box says, "la cerveza mas fina," and many of the patrons of W-Mart are lucky to be able to even speak English, they aren't very likely to understand that this means something along the lines of, "The Fine Beer."

Though the text at the bottom of the box reads, "Imported Beer from Mexico" many people probably didn't notice it as it was near the bottom. Somebody had most likely purchased this bottled beverage as liquid refreshment as per your post with quite the little shock when somebody else ended up accidentally sloshed.

W-Mart had to take a future preemptive strike to fen off any other future ignorance.

Anaise said...

I'm not feeling creative enough to come up with a possible scenario, but I will say that sign would fit in well in NY--my cousin moved from Provo to upstate NY and has had a ball with all the seemingly unnecessary signs and laws--my favorite story and picture is about an actual state road sign that appears above a rock that is about 18 inches tall; it states, "This is a rock . . ."

Oh, how I love stories like these!

Mamma has spoken said...

I'll blame it on those commericals where you see two people on a beach, relaxing, no worries to be found. Someone, lets call him Bob, wanted to experience that feeling and went to Wallyworld to buy it. Bob consume said drink, lets say the whold six pack, and fell into a drunken stuper. Woke up the next morning, feeling like something the cat dragged in, and couldn't figured out why. Fearing that it might be N1H1, he proceded to the emergency room, complaining of a headache so severe that any small noise makes him feel like his head will explode, and body aches all over, He also tells of symtoms of extremely dry mouth however the thought of food or drink makes them ill. He also tells her that he had felt find the day before and woke up feeling like this. The nice triage nurse tells him it sounds like he was hungover and asked if he drank something out of the ordinary. Bob admits that he did try this drink from the commericals. The nurse tells Bob he will live that it's beer he had consume. She informs Bob the best cure is to go home, take two asprins, drink lots of water and sleep it off. On the way home, Bob realizes he doesn't have any asprin at home so back to Walmart he went. When he got there, he decide to blame the store for his current state of mind and precedes to tell the general manager how it is the store's fault for all his woes. Bob threatens a law suit against this estblishment. The GM, not wanting to have this happen, has the sign you see put up on the shelf.

Corine said...

I wish I wasn't in such a rush... I would love to write you a creativly halarious explanation! But, I must get back to work (my husband and I are creating an online boating publication and need it to be mostly done in the next few days!!! Ahhh!!!).

Thanks for the enjoyable reading break. TTFN! :)

Corine said...

PS. I really enjoyed YOUR version of the story, anyhow! :D

Gerb said...

Martha- Thanks.

Rory- Interesting. I bet they weren't counting on anyone actually looking up the bill!

MnM- Now that's funny and sad all at the same time. I'm thinking that if people would just avoid the alcoholic beverages aisle they'll be okay.

Katie- I would be all for signs by those "energy drinks". I don't think people realize how terrible they are for you.

T5- Yeah, my story initially had some of those elements but I decided to go for a milder version. Thanks for spicing things up in the comments...

Anaise- I would LOVE to see a picture of a sign proclaiming the location of an ordinary rock... that is great!

MHS- I like it. Can't blame an ignorant someone for just wanting a nice, relaxing beach vacation, right? ;)

Corine- Good luck with the boating publication. It sounds like you keep yourself busy! (and thanks for the comment(s))

Anonymous said...

Heck-to-the-yes! I think someone sued W-Mart because someone bought an alcoholic beverage and (GASP!) got drunk. Just like someone once bought a hot coffee and got burned.

I really like MHS's version.

I guess what it all boils down to is "here's your sign..."


AzĂșcar said...

One person purchasing beer accidentally does not a sign posting make.

Dozens of people purchasing beer/cider/malt beverages make for sign posting.

I worked in retail for years. People are STOOOPID. Those signs are necessary, and I've seen them in a number of different grocery stores.