Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I Could Hide It Under There...


Where in the world can you hide your favorite chocolate-waxy donuts in a house full of eight kids?

I used to be able to hide treats (ex: donuts, Girl Scout Cookies, Chili-Cheese Fritos, Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Muffins, Snickers, etc...) in the canning pot or ice chest in the pantry. I could just close myself in there and enjoy to my heart's delight. But, the kids are getting smarter.

"What are you doing in there, Mom? Why are you holding the door closed?"

What is a woman to do? Yes, it is purely selfish to want to enjoy an entire box (that's right, friends - not a 6-pack, an entire box) of chocolate-waxy mini donuts all by myself. But, here's the problem. I can't share, or it goes like this:

Me: "Here, HH. Have a donut with mom in the pantry. Shhh. Yum, yum, right! OK, you're done. Want to play with trains? OK, bye sweetie!"

(2 seconds later)

GA: "Um, mom? Why does HH have chocolate on his face? Because GA wants to have chocolate on her face, too. It's OK." (She refers to herself in the first person. It can be cute.)

Me: "OK, GA, here's a donut. But, don't tell anyone, OK? Alright, let's clean off the chocolate so no one else can see...great job, princess! Now go play with your dollhouse, OK honey?"

(2 seconds later)

All kids not previously mentioned: "Mom, what's going on in the pantry?"

Me: "I'm.....praying. I'll be out in a minute."

Kids: "Can we pray, too?"

Me: (partially giving up) "OK, look, here, everyone gets a donut. Sorry I lied about praying."

Random child: "Uh...didn't you already eat a donut, Mom? Did you get 2? Can I have 2?"

All kids: "YEAH! WE ALL GET 2 DONUTS!!"

And so on. Then they're all gone.


"Wow, 8 kids?! How do you stay so thin?"

Now you know.


Cami said...

Maybe I should have 8 kids too.

Then again...maybe not.

I'm no good at sharing either. At least when it comes to yummy treats like chocolate, waxy, mini-doughnuts.

batman said...

that RANDOM kid that asked for two donuts is probably me or superman.

Teachinfourth said...


I laughed so hard that I could hardly breathe! With my folks it was similar story...sugary items were really bad for you, unless of course you were either Mom or Dad hiding them in the pantry for future "secret" pigging-outs. My siblings and I managed to find all of those little hiding places.

I would recommend a good place to be on the shelf behind the set of family scriptures, but it seems that your family uses them far more than mine ever did so maybe this wouldn't be the best place after all...

annette said...

It is so fun to read your blogs. I enjoy reading them outloud to anyone around. I keep my treats in a drawer by my bed in a ziplock. Forget the waxy donuts, I savor Sees chocolates (when I can get them)or m&m assortment. Everyone leaves them alone. How do I accomplish this amazing feat you ask? I only snack when I'm "resting", so no one knows. My oldest are aware, but I allow them to keep stashes of their own (and I occasionally buy them their favorite to keep in their stash) in their rooms. If they don't beg for mine, I don't beg for theirs. The rest are both unaware, and not allowed in my room. Somehow, it's worked...so far!

Rebecca said...

See, that's the problem with Chocolate Malted Krunch Ice Cream...you can only hide it in the freezer. And my kids are constantly looking in there to get their favorite treat--frozen corn. Weird, I know. I've been successful with hiding other yummy chocolate treats like (Twix and Almond Joy)in the very top kitchen cupboards, inside dishes that we hardly ever use. (See, Doug, there is a reason for me to keep those rarely-used dishes in my overcrowded cupboards, and still complain about the lack of storage space in my kitchen!)
I haven't worried about hiding treats lately, though, because Doug and I are doing a little sugar restriction together. For the time being, we can only eat dessert on Sundays. But don't worry, Gerb, that rule was made to be broken during special occasions like a visit from my BFF next weekend! I'll stock up! :)

ahblack said...

No brainer honey! Just tell GA (or older) she can have one of those tiny, dry, tasteless donuts when her room is clean. Even as slowly as you eat, you'd have them all to yourself.

ahblack said...

Also, just a little question...

How is it that you feel guilty about depriving the kids of something that is bad for their health, yet lie to them shamelessly???

(reminder: you said you like the spotlight)

MarmiteToasty said...

I popped over via momNOTmum's place...... 8 kids, you jammy sod LOL I would of loved 7 or 8 kids but alas I only have 4.... your blob is well loverly..... I will be back to scroll back and read more...


Cami said...

My dad's mom used to hide her "stash" in the dryer.

It worked until she started making her kids do their own laundry. :)

Mom not Mum said...

LOL I've been known to race from the freezer to a deserted room to eat an icecream bar unseen from the children. I love your ending - yes how do you stay so thin? LOL

Julie said...

Oh my goodness! I snorted my snack just now! Now I know how you stay so thin.... (hee hee)

If I want treats that I don't have to share, all I have to do is buy something with nuts in it....but then I have to hide it from Phil.

Nobody said...

Oh my gosh, the last half of this, after you were discovered is hilarious. And "why are you holding the door closed?"

And "sorry I lied about praying."

My mom (9 kids) hid her stuff in her bathroom under washclothes. Kids just don't bother with those.

Julie said...

You could always hide them in an empty box of feminine hygiene products....

~cari~ said...

That was a funny post! My kids figure out every hiding place of mine but unfortunately I scarf it all down in the car on the way home from the store so they never see it. And I wonder why I'm fat!

Shellie said...

Finally someone who understands why I'm so thin! I have tried everything and nowhere works. No Julie, not even the feminine hygiene products. They have many other uses besides the original one, so I have to hide them too! I fantasize about built into the ceiling storage that you can only lower by voice activation programmed to my voice only. Ant engineers out there who would like to design that for me?

Trina said...

You don't know me, but I'm a friend of Su Billlings and I saw your blog link on her blog...and well here I am :) I am also the mom of eight kids, and I had to laugh when I read this post. I hide all the time to eat my favorite snacks, and the senario you painted is so familiar to me!! My weakness is ice cream. Can't really eat that in the pantry, so it's hard hiding that one. I usually wait until everyone has gone to bed...then I'll sit down on the couch with a big bowl of ice cream...and always, always I will soon hear someone coming down the stairs. Quickly I will put my bowl down on on the couch and place a throw pillow over it as best as I can, and of course stop all motion with my mouth, even though the coldness of the ice cream is hurting my mouth. But if found out -- well, that's never a good thing. It's almost like kids have their own built-in radar for food. What is UP with that??!!

Thanks for the laugh!